Breaking up

LegacyUser

Going unregistered for this. So basically after 3 and a half years i want to breakup with my girlfriend, i've known for a few months now thats its what I want to do, i've realised i'm just not into her anymore, dont find her attractive anymore and we dont have anything in common so ive accepted it.

Problem is that she's making me feel absolutely horrendous as she thinks i've wasted her time and that at 34 she's getting too old to have kids and that she will have to start out again(in a new relationship) I've told her that isnt it alot better to be happy in a relationship with someone else as opposed to being in an unhappy relationship(which ours has been for a good while) What do i do? thanks

ellie1

Of course you are going to feel bad. It's not easy to tell someone your not happy anymore. This will pass. It's ok to break up with people when it's not working, your not happy or whatever reason.

Just give it time and give her space to heal. Don't give her false hope. A period of no contact would benefit both parties in order to move on.

Skibunny77

You know that you are only delaying the inevitable. Nobody should stay in a relationship when it isn't working. You can't make attraction reappear. Make the break, end contact and the conversation and give yourself and this girl a chance to move on.

daisydotty81

You seem fairly certain of your decision and if it's been a few months in your mind then you should act on it. It's not doing either of ye any good hanging onto a relationship where ye are both unhappy. I know it'll be really hard to break up-it's never easy but it's for the best for both of ye by the sounds of it. Don't feel guilty that she's 34 and would be starting again. She's still young. Breakups at any age are crap but its the best thing in the long run. Can you see things ever getting better? Is she happy?

sadie1502

Do it and do it quickly I think tell her the truth tell her what you've told us. I can assure you she will find it easier to move on once she knows the truth. Dont try to avoid the truth. She will be ok and bounce back. Best of luck but please don't tell lies or try to spare her feelings as it just drags it out for her. Be honest.

freedominacup

Anotherbreakupstory wrote: »

Going unregistered for this. So basically after 3 and a half years i want to breakup with my girlfriend, i've known for a few months now thats its what I want to do, i've realised i'm just not into her anymore, dont find her attractive anymore and we dont have anything in common so ive accepted it.

Problem is that she's making me feel absolutely horrendous as she thinks i've wasted her time and that at 34 she's getting too old to have kids and that she will have to start out again(in a new relationship) I've told her that isnt it alot better to be happy in a relationship with someone else as opposed to being in an unhappy relationship(which ours has been for a good while) What do i do? thanks

She's a lot better off than if you hadn't manned up and dragged the thing out until after kids became part of the scenario. If it's over it's over.

KikiDee

OP there's not really a lot you can do. Break ups are sh1tty at the best of times. Her attitude is possibly out of hurt. Ultimately, you've made your decision. Your best bet now is to stick with your decision and start the process of moving on. You've 100% done the right thing if you're no longer into her.

Xterminator

OP its not like you wasted a decade of her life, then decided to jump ship.

you want to end the relationship and she doesnt - it is natural she will be disappointed and upset. you cant avoid that. Just take your medicine; be honest and try to make a clean break of it for both your sakes.

SarahMollie

Hi OP,

I don't have anything to say that hasn't been said already - other posters have said it all really.

I'd just like to point out that its rare that all posters agree in RI, but in this case is seems unanimous.

You sound totally clear in your decision and I think you know what you have to do. Putting it off won't make it any easier.

gurI

She probably is glad deep down that you are the one ending it, unless she still loves you, then she is probably heartbroken, i mean yes you should explain to her that she is still young enough for the kids, it prob won't take her that long to find someone new. She probably had made a lot of plans for you guys and had thought that area of her life was sorted so she probably didn't allow herself to fall out of love, so be kind to her. And tell her the truth. It'll make it easier for her to accept.