breakup aftermath

LegacyUser

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 and half months ago. There was some emails exchanged between us a couple of weeks after (inititated by me) but he was nasty to me, he told me not to bother him, we're better apart etc etc

There's been no contact since, but I miss him terribly. Not a day goes by where I don't think of him. Some days I find it hard to keep back the tears at work.

It's so tempting to txt, but I'm afraid of the response.

s4uv3

Don't text him. Or contact him at all.

Look at it this way.
Don't you deserve to be with someone who thinks the sun shines out of your behind? Who wants to see you, be with you, call you theirs, and make you smile?
Well this guy isn't him.
The sooner you cut contact, put him out of your head, get over him and get back to yourself, the sooner you can find the relationship you deserve

It's not easy, but time is a great healer. Things will get easier, hang in there

whiskeyman

You probably only really miss the company... you said yourself he was nasty to you.
You need to make sure you don't contact him and also keep yourself busy if possible.
Soon you'll be so over him and won't even know why you were thinking this way!

Best of luck x

PressRun

As hard as it can be, I really don't think you should contact him. I think it would be best to cut contact (block him), especially because you still have feelings for him and are still thinking about him. It's hard at first, but you will, over time, find yourself thinking about him less and less and feeling less upset about it. It takes time, but it really does get easier.

Btw, if you want to have a cry, go and do it! There's nothing wrong with being upset and 'grieving' in a sense. You're not a mug for having been disappointed by the outcome of a relationship. It happens to pretty much everyone.

LegacyUser

Hey hunni,
don't contact him whatever you do. You'll only get hurt, you've made it this far, you're doing well. Exact same thing happened to me. And I miss him, think about him, I cry all of that but I wouldn't contact him in a billion years and I'll tell you why in a minute. He's definitely always gonna have a special place in my heart ; he was so beautiful inside and out ; such an angel, funny, smart, etc. I'm so glad i got to know him and have memories of him. But in the end... he didn't have the t1ts to handle me haha
But I am starting to see my future without him now finally. It's so hard though; he was such a fine piece of man hahaahahaha
I mean he was quite nasty after we broke up but i don't take it personally and don't think it defines him (BUT it MIGHT be the real him so that's enough reason not to go back there), i don't think that makes him a bad person or anything . I guess he's just that person i can't stay mad at or think badly of for long. But I would not like to be with him now, that is why i wouldn't contact him. I couldn't be with someone who was so mean cause i mean even though i think he's beautiful, and will always look back fondly of our time together, there is also the possibility he was being fake and putting on an act throughout the whole relationship as how can someone be so caring then so cruel just cause you are not in a relationship with them? That is why i'm kinda glad i found out he could turn like that .At least I didn't have kids with him. I actally feel sorry for any woman who does have kids with him or marries him 'cause can he be trusted ? Is he sincere when he says he wants to grow grey with them? lol.. So i am kinda glad in a way that i saw that side of him. So just be glad he was nasty and glad you got out. Hope this helped. x

gurI

Please don't contact him. You'll only get hurt xx

Lady is a tramp

Delete his number from your phone, delete him from all social media, avoid anywhere you're likely to bump into him, do not contact him!

It might help to get all of your thoughts down in a letter to him, but don't actually send it ... I find that it can help just to structure my thoughts when my head's a mess!

The break-up is still relatively recent - things will get better as time goes on. But it sounds like he's got no interest in trying again, so don't lower yourself to contacting him ... focus on your friends and family instead maybe, to help you get through it.

KikiDee

Hey OP,

With regards to the temptation to contact him, don't do it. I did and got 0 response. And that hurt far more than any sort of nasty response. He's asked you not to contact him so don't. Focus on you. Get yourself through this. You're allowed to be selfish when going through something like this. I've said this before on various other posts but I promise, you will feel better.

rabblerebel

Why on earth would you be tempted to text someone who's clearly told you not to the last time you initiated contact?

You'll achieve nothing other than further humiliation.

Time to regain your self-respect and move on.

Calypso Realm

I agree wholeheartedly with everyone else here OP, do not, on any account contact this guy ever again! It's never a good idea anyway but more so given how nasty he was!

Now, it may help you to know that contacting exes makes you even less attractive in their eyes (since they know they still 'have' you) while NOT contacting them at all is far more powerful. I'm not talking about playing games - it's just the way human nature works. Not doing so gets the other wondering about you and what YOU are up to. I believe with men especially, who process emotions differently it's important to give them the opportunity to actually miss you in the early stages especially, which of course they won't, if you're always the one initiating contact. An ex of mine told me once he hadn't realised how much I actually meant to him until he knew he was about to lose me since I was going to take up a job offer abroad.

Sapphire

Go to the newsagents and get a nice journal and a nice pen.

Write down all your thoughts and things you want to text him in there, not your phone. Vent, call him all the things, tell him what you'd really love to get off your chest. Don't put it in a text or email otherwise you will regret it when the post break-up fog has lifted. Then in a few months time when this doesn't hurt so much and you are feeling emotionally stronger shred or burn it.

Do something different - take up a hobby/sport/evening class. Become someone different - restyle your hair, have a makeover, put on a persona of a happy confident beautiful person and fake it till you make it. It takes more than a few weeks to get over someone but I promise it will get better. You will look back and see how far you've come since the early days of breakup, but getting through the first few months is hard.