feeling abit lonely friends wise

celligraphy

Hi I'm in my early twenties , mother to a 2 year old and have a fantastic partner , but I have very little friends , and those that I do meet the odd time have their own lives , I would really like to make new friends but don't know how to , I don't really drink and I'm a bit shy at first and kinda ashamed of joining groups over being unemployed at the minute , my partner works .

It's just kinda getting to me the only people I 'll see during the week are my family , partners family and that's all , it's been like this for a few months

Hemerodrome

Janey, no need to be ashamed of bring "unemployed", lots of people are and nobody with a two-year old is in the slightest bit "unemployed" anyway. Having a child and time on your hands should be a help, not a hindrance, bet there are groups for people in your situation locally, particularly women of similar age. Don't be fearful, go and find them and if there isn't a group, start one!

HS3

Most community centres have parent and toddler groups. You could try searching online? I'd be the same as you. Even when I went to mother and child groups I wouldn't be great for clicking with people, but it was good to have a bit of a natter. Don't even worry about not working. That is nothing to stop you.

coco29

Are you on Facebook? You could join a group called GirlCrew, it's got lots of different meet ups and events and a great way to meet new Friends

BetsyEllen

coco29 wrote: »

Are you on Facebook? You could join a group called GirlCrew, it's got lots of different meet ups and events and a great way to meet new Friends

I can second this, it's very good - lots of meet-ups arranged very regularly on the Meath page I am a member of.

OP, if I ever met a lady who had a 2 year old, I wouldn't bat an eyelid at her being 'unemployed' - being a stay at home Mum is completely normal and quite an enviable position in some peoples eyes! Many woman wish they could afford to stay home with their children.

You have ZERO to be ashamed of, lots of Mothers with babies/toddlers don't go out to work because raising their child is a full time, and far more important job in itself.

Ursus Horribilis

BetsyEllen wrote: »

You have ZERO to be ashamed of, lots of Mothers with babaies/toddlers don't go out to work because raising their child is a full time, and far more important job in itself.

^^^This. I doubt many people will be remotely interested in your employment history past and present. Just say you're a stay at home mum at the moment if you're asked. Most people I know don't really talk about their jobs anyway. It's the most boring subject on the planet unless you've got an unusual, exciting sounding job.

HelgaWard

How about an exercise class? Would get you out of the house one evening a week and if you go regularly and smile and make eye contact you will get to know people at them.

BetsyEllen

Have you heard of the website meetup.com? They have an app too - very good for finding meet ups/classes in your area.
And if there's not one that you like the sound of, you can set up your own!

If you have a specific hobby or interest, you could create a group based around this and see if anyone else joins.

Even if it's just a coffee group once a week, if you arrange it for a daytime you may find a lot of young Mothers come along so you will automatically have something in common with them.

Sunny Dayz

Hi Op, I know how you feel. If I didn't have the handful of friends from my schooldays, I would have no friends at all.
I have found myself with more friendly faces though since I joined a couch to 5k group. It's nice to get some me-time jogging and chat to a few women afterwards.


My friend has a child about your age and she goes to her local parent and toddler group. She has found this really helpful as she has met other women in her area and most likely will be seeing these people for the next 10 years as the kids will be going to national school together.


Use your child to meet other people. When we moved to our locality, that's how we got to know some of the neighbours first of all, was through our kids playing on the street. I know you child is a bit off that stage yet, but you could try parent and toddler groups, swim lessons, gymabarrie

celligraphy

Hi thanks for the great advice but I am afraid in case people think "she has no friends " , I guess I'm just nervous , there is a women's only gym down the road from me but it just I have to work up the courage to finally show up

celligraphy

celligraphy wrote: »

Hi thanks for the great advice but I am afraid in case people think "she has no friends " , I guess I'm just nervous , there is a women's only gym down the road from me but it just I have to work up the courage to finally show up

I know it's so difficult but please put yourself out there. There's nothing stopping you only yourself.
Join the gym and do it in baby steps...say hi first ....and go from there, compliment someone on what they are wearing or ask someone how to use piece of equipment....anyone see big brother or small things like that if you get me.

We are our own worst enemy and we ourselves prevent us from doing some many things.
Good luck

celligraphy

Even me posting is making myself feel better , the loneliness can 'be completely overwhelming at times , my partner encourages me a lot, I think next week once we are back from holidays I 'll ask him to walk me to the gym just for my first time until I'm comfortable

Ursus Horribilis

Are there any mother and toddler groups locally? Having a child can be a great way to start meeting people. I'm more sceptical about a gym being a good way to meet people to be honest. There are a lot of people who just want to go, do their exercise and go home.

Don't be beating yourself up about having no friends and worrying about what people think. One reason a lot of people join things is so that they can get out of the house and meet others. It's a social thing, not just an undying love of photography or whatever.