Not Sure as what to do for and after degree

LegacyUser

Dear Boardsies

I am a third year student of a general science course. I must pick a subject for my final year. Said subject will be my degree. I.e. I can study subject X next year or subject Y nect year. If I study subject my degree will be a BSc. in X. and vice versa for subject Y. My problem is Im not quite sure what to study.

I, like many people my age, have mental health issues. In my second year I studied both subject X, Y, and Z. I adored subject X and Z and my plan at the time was to carry these on to my 3rd year and drop subject Y. At the time I planned on studying subject X as my degree subject in final year. However my results for second year were released and they were very good. However, I had done amazingly in subject Y, a subject I openly admit I did not attend even 10 lectures for throughout the entire academic year, a subject I never liked and had only taken as I was informed it was an easy pass. Whilst it was an easy pass, my grades were far higher than the average and perhaps even top of the class, (one of my friends was given an award in college for his excellent grades in second year but he was astonished by my grades in subject Y, a subject he himself had also taken). I had also done very well in subject X, subject Z however, whilst my grades were good, were by far the worst out of my 3 subjects, and given that I had never planned on taking it to degree level, and that it is amost impossibe to gain a career in, and that subject Y had by far my best grades, I decided to keep on subject Y (as well as X).

Skip forward to 3rd year. I have slipped in grades massively, it was not from lack of trying, I was going through a lot of stress and a bout of depression throughout the year, which made memorising and productivity and the recalling of information very very difficult. I have quite bad anxiety around exams, however, this did not stop me doing well in my second year. I have to pick a subject as my degree subject. I did 4% better overall in subject Y than in subject X.It would have been a far bigger gap in subject Y's favour if it had not been for one particular module I had done very very well in which really did not seem related to subject X, at all (it felt like it was lumped into the subject as to make up credits for the subject, it had no relation to subject X in reality). However this year, I lost my love and passion for subject X. Both X and Y seemed very dull and did not invoke the love of learning I once had. Subject Y actually had a slight edge on subject X this year. Whilst I did not attend lectures for subject Y in second year I attended nearly every lecture of both my subjects this year. In second year, I just studied from books mostly, when it came to assignments I did not even open lecture notes online, I just borrowed a book or two from the library and used those. When my friends heard me talk of topics with in subject Y they were quite impressed by how much I knew and could talk about different topics.

Subject X is supposed to be incredibly stressful and difficult (from what I have heard the most stressful/difficult subject out of the MANY subjects which can be taken at degree level in my course). I have not yet heard one person say one good thing about subject X in final year, it truly is the bain of their lifes, I have only heard people say how they will never go near subject X with a barge pole ever again. Yet Ive heard nothing but positive things about subject Y. Both subjects offer good job prospects, however subject X is far wider and broader than subject Y which is far more specialised in comparrison. If I were to apply for a MSc. or PhD. with a degree in subject Y my options would be much more limited. However as I said earlier, subject X is far more difficult, stressful, work ladden, crazily detailed, complex and convoluted in comparrison to subject Y. Its actually quite amazing when you compare lectures from the two subjects. The content from one week of lectures n subject X is about the equivalent to a whole module in subject Y.

I found my 3rd year truly horendously awful. As I said earlier I have been diagnosed with depression, but I also have VERY VERY bad anxiety surrounding exams, crying, shaking, stomach problems, etc. I actually am allowed to sit my exams in a special needs room for it. I spoke to a careers guidance counsellor about it some months back and she suggested that I study subject Y. I found 3rd year incredibly overwhelming and 4th year of subject X is meant to be far far worse. Howeve I fear somewhat that, theoretically, if my depression was to fade, I'd fall in love with subject X again, but I would be trapped with a degree in subject Y, making it very difficult to cross back into the field of subject X. But I am also afraid if I take subject X it will be just too much for me.

Also, I know this completley contradicts what I said above, but I am considering doing a degree in gaduate entry vetrinary/medicine or dentistry after my undergraduate (I am obviously hoping that this depression I have will fgo away and thus I would be better able to better cope with the stresses of the above degrees). Subject X and Y would both be useful to any of those courses/profressions, however I think subject X would be of more use than subject Y (as far as I am aware subject Y is generally only studied for a semester or a year whilst subject X is studied for 2 years in the above courses). Also, many postgrad degrees are not available here in Ireland but in the UK, now whilst I have no desire currently to pursue some of these degrees I know for eg the ony way to gain a place on graduate entry nutrition is with a degree in subject X, subject Y would not be accepted. I am afraid I may later change my mind.

So basically Im in a pickle and dont know what to pick/do.....

intheclouds

Quite a mouthful that you posted but the clear point coming across is that you PREFER subject X to subject Y. And - subject X seems to have better future prospects.

So do subject X.