Do Irish Children Play in Groups?

RoseInIreland

Hi,
I'm Irish-American (both parents born & raised in Ireland) and am considering moving to an Irish city (maybe Cork?) with my 12-year-old soon. I live in Northern California (just outside of San Francisco) and have become disillusioned with the American way of life, especially as it relates to raising children. I live in a child-centric area, and yet you never see kids hanging out in groups. Parents are still arranging one-one-one playdates for pre-teens, and unfortunately, my son is often left out. Is this the same in Ireland, or do Irish kids hang out in groups? (As an aside, I also would move for other reasons - higher education standard, less materialistic lifestyle, slower pace of life, affordable healthcare, and reduced risk of being killed by gunfire!) Things are OK for us here, and I'm reluctant to move if the situation will be the same in Ireland. Thanks in advance for any insight you can bring. Rose

LegacyUser

Eh....well, it depends on where you are and what you do.I only have little kids myself, but from what I remember and what I see, I grew up and currently live in housing estates.We played on the road in front of the house all the time with neighbouring kids and in my own estate the same happens.The only thing about that for his age group is that it equates more to 'hanging around' in groups, often at local shopping centres or parks, which can be both good and bad.Again it's very dependent on where you live.It can lead to your 12 year old becoming more adult before his time but I imagine that's probably a problem no matter what the country.

I suppose you would want to be careful about where you move to and what type of area it is, if this is what you'd like for your child.Just because you won't have much, if any, control over who he is mixing with if he's out and about.

2xj3hplqgsbkym

I live in Dublin and yes the children definitely play in groups. My eldest is 5 , he plays outside with 5 -10 year olds whenever he is allowed , hide and seek, tip the can, football etc..
As they turn to pre teens to teens, the girls seem to practice dance routines, boys play football or they 'hang out' together, ie. sit on a wall and look at stuff on each others' phones.
Whether it is a better place to live than America , I don't know, but I like it here.

Chocolate fiend

If you think that Ireland is less materialistic you are wrong. It is as materialistic as anywhere else. Your other reasons might be very valid, but, don't expect much less materialism in Ireland.

silverharp

its a risky enough change, the climate alone might be a shock for the lad. what kind of setup do you want? suburban cork city or small village or town? by his age it sounds like you can wait another year and start him in a secondary school

Speedwell

The neighborhood kids definitely run around in groups where I live. About half the houses in my estate are families with school-age children, and I face a green area, and my office is in the front of the house, so I'm always seeing them through my office window, playing with their friends.

jlm29

silverharp wrote: »

its a risky enough change, the climate alone might be a shock for the lad. what kind of setup do you want? suburban cork city or small village or town? by his age it sounds like you can wait another year and start him in a secondary school

I probably wouldn't wait until secondary school if it was possible. I'd be more inclined to start him in national school, so he could establish some friendships before secondary. I know it depends a lot on different schools, but at least in national school, there's one teacher to the 30 or so pupils, and they could keep an eye, and gently encourage friendships (maybe I'm naive and this wouldn't happen). Bringing him here to start secondary immediately seems a bit like flinging him into the deep end- there's more moving around, it's busier, and I'd imagine it would be hard to make friends. Especially for a "foreigner" with a different accent, and peanut butter and jam sandwiches in their lunchbox every day. (I am not trying to poke fun, but I recall an American girl coming to our school for a while in secondary, and I cannot rememver what she looked like at all. But I remember her voice and her sandwiches!)

silverharp

^^^

8 weeks to relocate and find out what schools have places all over the holiday period, logistically I wouldn't have thought it possible

Moonbeam

Are you in the Bay area?

I have never lived there but I am familiar with it.
It is very different here but I am not sure if it is different in the ways that you expect or want it to be.
I am not sure if life here is at a slower pace,it depends on the person.
There is very little gun violence here.
Healthcare ,broadband and mobile phones here are a lot cheaper.
Wages tend to be lower but it depends on what you do.
Can you transfer with work?

RoseInIreland

Thank you all for taking the time to write! Here are responses to some of your questions: I would be looking to move to a suburb rather than a village or town. I would have to start him in secondary school, I think, because he will be too old to be with children in 6th year. (He turns 13 in November.) And, yes, I'm in the Bay Area. I've just gotten trained as an electrologist and would hope to work out of my home. I know that there's little time to make this change - it can be very challenging to change course with children. If I moved to Ireland in August, I would probably home school him initially until I could find a school that would accept him. (I acknowledge that this is not ideal and perhaps a little crazy!)

I have lived in Ireland for 1 1/2 years (right before the Celtic Tiger started), so I have a sense of what life is like there. (I do know it's changed a lot since then.) It's just that life has become much harder in the United States in the last 10 years for many people. The three big expenditures - healthcare, education, and buying a home - have become exorbitant in recent years. Here are a few examples: (1). My son's 20-minute visit to the emergency room cost me $1,000, (2) Co-workers at my "big international company) often skip seeing a doctor because of the fear of high out-of-pocket expenses (3) A friend advised me to put aside at least $250,000 for my son's college education. In the Bay Area, a "starter home" in a "kid-friendly" area easily costs $800,000 - $1,000,000, and your child still ends up playing by himself doing video games all day. Yes, the wages are higher here, but not enough to compensate for the costs. I've begun to question whether this is any way to live one's life. I think many Americans are going through this experience, and it explains why outsiders like Trump and Bernie Sanders have done well in this year's elections. I'm luckier than most in that both my son and I are Irish citizens, although from a psychological perspective, it's not easy to make the change.
Thanks for listening,
Rose

PS: My son doesn't like pb&j sandwiches, so I'm good there. ; )

cactusgal

That's a tough one, OP. I get where you're coming from, but living in Ireland for a short period a long time ago won't prepare you for living here now, long-term, with a young teen.
Is there any way that you and he could do a "tryout" stay of 3-6 months before committing to your choice?
Would you consider a move elsewhere in the USA, somewhere smaller? I'm from the States (down South), been living in Ireland over 10 years now, no kids, but often think about which country would be better to raise them in.

RoseInIreland

That's good information, Cactusgal. And, yes, I've thought of moving there with the idea that it's just for a year. If it didn't work out, we could come back. But it's a lot of change for a young person.

Bobthefireman

The short answer to your title is No. GAA, dance classes etc., maybe. If in a small estate you might see some playing outside, but it's not like years ago when you could go wandering.

Meeoow

12 year olds don't play in the street. You're more likely to have them stuck in the house on the Internet or games console.

olaola

I live in an urban estate 3kms from Dublin city, the local kids are out playing on the road all evening, every day. I suppose it depends on who you move in beside, but generally kids will play together in groups. They seem to go through phases - football, bikes, drawing in chalk on the ground - they even do dance routines & will stop you to show you. Pretty multicultural too, they all play together. Our little fella is too young to play with them, but he loves toddling out & having a look. And they adore our dog & will sit and rub her belly for hours, they even call in to ask if Holly is coming out to play!

I've a lot of friends who live near or in a similar radius to the city, they'll have a group of kids who they might have calling in or will play football with too.

evolving_doors

Ya it's a bit of a tricky one at that age, you'd really have to research the area and do some asking around (possibly ask the local schools where the estates are with your kid's age profile!). The area I'm in was dead quiet 10 years ago but now there's a group of about 6-7 kids who play continuously on the street (no bad stuff either).. so I reckon in about 7 years time the street will go quiet again when they start venturing further afield (or being moody teenagers indoors), so it's a case of peeks and troughs.
For what you're looking for I reckon it would be in an estate with a green in the middle and probably at the end where cars wouldn't be passing through.. then for the older ones.. near a shopping centre to walk around and kick a few cans around.
Maybe just post in the different fora around the site and ask about certain areas and schools!
Maybe start off a thread with "I'm thinking of moving to X , what are the kids and schools like around there?". I have a feeling every place is different.
13 is a tricky one for 'playing' with friends though, only thing I can think of is if he'd be sporty and play soccer, then it would be a little easier to jump into it (without having to go through an organisation).

pwurple

Like everyone else... It depends.

My five year old does play with a bunch of children aged about 5-9... In eachothers houses and gardens. But that's because of where we live in the city. They are all within a few doors and go to school together.

The last place we lived was a commuter town. People drove everywhere. Including to schools and sports. No playing with eachother there, just organised things.

iguana

I don't live on an estate but there are a number of them near me and the kids are out playing with each other all the time. My son is just three so doesn't go out by himself and mainly has playdates but when we walk past the neighbour's houses he is often invited in to play by the boys living there and they call in here sometimes. I imagine that as he gets older he'll be able to arrange his own play with neighbouring children. Although he won't be going to any of the local schools, so that might hinder things a little. (Though luckily for him there are 3 primary schools equidistant from our area so the kids are used to being in different schools from each other.) That said children certainly don't have the same freedom that my generation had, as we'd take ourselves to parks or the city centre, from a young age rather than just playing locally.

If you do homeschool when you first arrive you may need to register with TUSLA. Homeschooling here is a right for parents but a child over 6 needs to be registered at a school or as homeschooled. Cork actually has a strong homeschooling network, so it might be an idea to link up with some of the groups there even if it's just a temporary situation for your family. They will tell you what you need to legally and they have very regular meet-ups that it might be a good idea to attend. I know pre-arranged meet-ups aren't something you want to rely on but if you have just moved to the country and your son isn't in school, it would be a good idea to try out lots of social activities so he can meet potential friends. At 12-13, kids don't just go out on the street and join in with pre-formed groups of friends. So homeschooling meet-ups would be something to do during the day. Joining some local sports clubs or things like Coder-dojo would also be a good idea.

RoseInIreland

This is all fantastic information - thank you!!! I have a question that is probably silly to the Irish. What exactly is an estate? :)Thank you, Rose

cactusgal

RoseInIreland wrote: »

This is all fantastic information - thank you!!! I have a question that is probably silly to the Irish. What exactly is an estate? :)Thank you, Rose

It's the closest equivalent to a suburban American subdivision, except that all of the houses in an estate look the same, or at least are very similar.