Crazy ex girlfriend

Struggling

I know I'm a total fruitcake for thinking this. But is it normal to feel jealous about people your partner has been with in the past. By with I mean kissed or dated for a few months as a teenager. My partners from a tiny town in the west of the country and every time we are there I have these people coming up to me and saying "I remember when i was 16 and me and your boyfriend got together at a nightclub" this has happened maybe 4 times. One girl in particular is forever adding him on fb. One three ocassions she has put up photos of them on nights out but they weren't like a normal pic they'd be pics of her standing behind him or in one case he was sat down and she jumped on his back and took a pic. Completely weird. He says shes nothing but an attention seeking yoke and he has nothing to do with her. But she keeps appearing at events as it's a small town a lot of weddings etc she's there. I've never spoke to her but at a christening once she got my partners sister to come over and tell us she said hello. Completely strange. There could be more scenarios but sometimes my boyfriend won't tell me because he said he knows it makes me mad and she's irrelevant to us. This can't be normal...

SarahMollie

Hi OP,

I think there are two issues here.

1. No one loves hearing details about their partners past escapades, its just not nice to dwell on, so if its being brought up in your presence, I can understand why you don't love it. However, once its not playing on your mind outside of these times and its not causing you to fixate on the past, then I'd say thats perfectly normal.

2. This one particular girl sounds a bit OTT. I'm not surprised that you're not impressed by her behavior, as she's showing no signs of being respectful of your relationship. This all comes down to how much your trust your BF however. I can totally understand him not wanting to cause a fuss, so he's trying to downplay whats going on. I think this is reasonable once he's not encouraging her in any way. I'm sure he doesnt want to become the centre of small town gossip if he has it out with her.

Sapphire

She sounds a tad obsessed with him, and he is handling it exactly the way he should. You on the other hand are letting yourself be affected by her obsessiveness and this will only give the situation more attention than it deserves.

And it's concerning that you think he's now shielding you from more of this behaviour because he's reluctant to get an earful from you about it either. Maybe try to work on that. It's really not his fault if someone is an oddball about him like that.

Struggling

He's definitely not encouraging her but won't tell her to f*** off either. He's too polite. We've a wedding coming up and she's bridesmaid and I know it will be more of the same. I don't know why it bothers me so much