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Settling down when it doesn't seem like an option

  • 27-06-2016 9:19am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Not really an issue per se but I would love to see if anyone has advice or experience on the issue of putting down roots in a relationship and how exactly it works.

    I have been in a relationship for roughly 6 years. We both love each other dearly and a have fantastic relationship with each other's friends and family. We both have successful careers and have been utterly focused on our working lives since graduating. She is a junior doctor so it is a given that her hours are fairly ludicrous at times. My work, although not as bad, often has me hitting the 50/60pw hours mark. So we've always had to work hard to make the relationship work. It has never really been a big deal.

    I'm in no hurry and this honestly isn't a case of me seeing my friends getting engaged, married and building houses and feeling the pressure. But looking at them, they are fairly set as to where they are settling and what their plan is. I geniunely haven't a monkeys when it comes to a where/when if I was to do the same.

    My girlfriends contracts are always short and can be anywhere. She is also due to conduct a fellowship which will be done abroad. In a few months she is moving north for a year (an approx. 4 hour drive).

    We'll make it work I have no doubt. But as I take into account where I or we will be in 2/5/10 years time, I haven't a clue where the hell we'll be.

    With this, is it a case that everything will work out or is this something that requires work?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    This is a genuine question, why aren't the two of you talking about it? No other plans, opinions, hopes or anything else mean a thing, the two of you come up with a script. If you have talked about it, then your questions here should be much more fully formed, if you haven't talked about it then you really need to and if you can't talk about it or one of you doesn't want to talk about it, then you need to be talking about whether it's a viable relationship at all.
    6 years seems to be a long way into a relationship to be saying this, but you two really need to have "the talk".


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