Making a complaint in the workplace

Two women in our office section have had a hostile relationship for a few months. Last week, the situation boiled over, with Number 1 basically humiliating Number 2 by lambasting her in front of the entire section.

Number 2 has now gone to HR and made a formal complaint, she's even complaining about how the boss handled it (dreadfully, in fairness).

What do you think about making formal complaints over reasonably minor grievances? Is it assertive? Or too confrontational? It's going to create a very tense working environment. To accuse a colleague of bullying is a serious black mark against that person's reputation, and I know I wouldn't do it lightly.

Have you ever made a formal complaint against someone?

Has anyone ever complained about you?

Permabear

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Permabear

Permabear wrote: »

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I appreciate that fact, but to be clearer, by 'hostility' I'm referring to low-level spite... eg asking everyone except one person if they want coffee, etc. Both sides were doing it.

The public humiliation was indeed OTT. But it's a confrontation most people should resolve between themselves, in my view. Instituting a disciplinary procedure, involving people being called into interviews, is ultimately going to end with a resignation, I am sure. Both colleagues are excellent professionals, experts in their area. It's just silly that such intelligent adults need to resort to the HR team, like invoking the schoolmistress.

Penny Tration

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I appreciate that fact, but to be clearer, by 'hostility' I'm referring to low-level spite... eg asking everyone except one person if they want coffee, etc. Both sides were doing it.

The public humiliation was indeed OTT. But it's a confrontation most people should resolve between themselves, in my view. Instituting a disciplinary procedure, involving people being called into interviews, is ultimately going to end with a resignation, I am sure. Both colleagues are excellent professionals, experts in their area. It's just silly that such intelligent adults need to resort to the HR team, like invoking the schoolmistress.

'Excellent professionals' don't bully people. And yeah, deliberately excluding one person from everything and humiliating someone publicly is bullying. Professional my hole. It's demoralizing, humiliating, embarrassing and hurtful.

Story Bud?

What the fcuk does be wrong with people.

Grown adults, fighting and being petty enough not to ask the other if they want a cup of tea? How do people get through life being such absolute childish dicks?

Work Problems might be a better forum for this.

Story Bud?

Deleted User wrote: »

Work Problems might be a better forum for this.

Doubt it - the OP isn't having a work problem. He's having a chat based on something he's witnessed.

FizzleSticks

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Shint0

It's not the quality of the issues but the quantity. Minor issues which are repetitive build up and left to fester have a knock-effect on the performance of a team. A good manager should have spotted this and knocked it on the head a long time ago but all too often managers tend to bury their head in the sand until something blows up in their face.

There's a place I used to work in that I still frequent sometimes. There's two people there who had a fight over something ages ago and haven't spoken in 3 months. They work together quite regularly and are sometimes within feet of each other.

They're both fully grown adults, with one being a father.

Some people just never grow up.

southcentralts

Going to the HR dept is exactly the right step to take, they can make use of the expert mediator in their dept, to resolve this issue and prevent any further conflict.

As a matter of interest OP, what would you have done in her place instead of going to HR?

smash

southcentralts wrote: »

Going to the HR dept is exactly the right step to take, they can make use of the expert mediator in their dept, to resolve this issue and prevent any further conflict.

Hahahaha, good one.

FizzleSticks

FizzleSticks wrote: »

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Maybe I'm wrongly painting this situation as right vs wrong.

Neither of these ladies are shrinking violets. They're fairly hard-ass financial professionals, both with egos, well-capable of bollocking their admin staff when necessary. When I'm speaking about humiliation, it's probably more of an ego injury than anything.

Another issue is, other colleagues are approaching both sides telling them they're right, egging them on. Office bloodsports.

southcentralts wrote: »

As a matter of interest OP, what would you have done in her place instead of going to HR?

Ah here, I'm no office hippy myself. I have plenty of spats with the guys on my section. I tell them to fuck off and two minutes later I ask them if they want a coffee. That's how I would have resolved it, most adults would do that IMO.

Shint0

smash wrote: »

Hahahaha, good one.

Exactly.
The HR role is to prevent and offset an action against the company. They work on behalf of the company not the employees. Employee welfare is secondary.

Turtyturd

Anyone subject to that treatment is right to take whatever action they want to try sort it. I wouldn't have much faith in HR to sort it though.

A Tyrant Named Miltiades!

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Instituting a disciplinary procedure, involving people being called into interviews, is ultimately going to end with a resignation, I am sure...

Grievance procedure surely, not disciplinary. That's a matter for the employer, not employee.

FizzleSticks

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pickarooney

I'm pretty sure there'll be a new number two next week and the week after.



Be seeing you.

AudreyHepburn

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I appreciate that fact, but to be clearer, by 'hostility' I'm referring to low-level spite... eg asking everyone except one person if they want coffee, etc. Both sides were doing it.

The public humiliation was indeed OTT. But it's a confrontation most people should resolve between themselves, in my view. Instituting a disciplinary procedure, involving people being called into interviews, is ultimately going to end with a resignation, I am sure. Both colleagues are excellent professionals, experts in their area. It's just silly that such intelligent adults need to resort to the HR team, like invoking the schoolmistress.

OP you've clearly never been bullied in school or in work. I have and I can assure that what seems to you like low level spite is anything but in the eyes of the victim.

It's not what some-one does so much as how they do it and how often.

Sure your complaints might seem petty but sustained constant picking at you can really damage your confidence and mental well being. You think your alone, you think maybe it's your fault, that you have done something to provoke it.

I had gotten to the point of dreading going into and work and on one occasion ended up physically ill - at the time I didn't connect with what was happening in the office but looking back I know that's what did it.

Eventually I had no choice but to complain to the manager - I couldn't confront the woman herself because she would kicked up a fuss in front of the whole office and had an uncanny knack for turning everything back on you.

I then learnt that not only had my Manager been aware of problems for a while, but that other colleagues had approached him on my behalf without me knowing/.

She left not long after that, by choice or not I'm not sure. And I can't tell the weight it lifted off my shoulders.

Shint0

FizzleSticks wrote: »

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You are right in the sense that any type of cognitive dissonance in various relationships can be confusing and wreck your head. I think in the case wiith that poster they were suggesting that while they might have argued and disagreed with their colleague professionally they didn't hold it against them personally and many people have difficulty separating the two.

I'm wondering do men and women have different styles of conflict and conflict resolution in the workplace or is that opening up a whole can of worms. I have seen in work environments which would be mostly female dominated the presence of a male colleague can sometimes help to counter any tensions and I'm sure the reverse can be true as well.

biko

Pistols at dawn, it's the only way

wakka12

How is that minor? It sounds very much the opposite