Feel like I'm going to be made fun.

LegacyUser

I'm 19, a lad and I feel that if I dress how I want I'm going to be made fun of.
I dress fairly similar to others my age but I'm always pushing the envelope ever so slightly.
I'll wear black jeans when others wear blue, I'll wear ripped skinny jeans when others don't.

I want to wear Chelsea boots, skinny jeans, baggy sweaters, overcoats, biker jackets, collarbone bearing T shirts and patterned and floral flows shirts. I want to wear expensive brands, I told a friend I bought a €40 T shirt and he thought it was madness.

I want to wear women's jeans because they fit me better and maybe a women's shirt simply because they're flowyer and come in some crazier patterns. I'm straight and I'm not a cross dresser.

I sing when others play sport. I'm 5'6, relatively slim build. Girls like me, against all odds, a oddly clad, short, curly haired lad gets girls..
But I feel like if I go that little bit extra I'll end up pushing it too far.
It's taken me years to build my confidence to this level, and when I did start skewing from the norm, that's when I got more attention. But is there a threshold?

I mean Harry Styles and Matty Healy can do it but I'm just a lad from the country who, when shopping for clothes gets told "but when will you actually wear it?"
I love airports because nobody knows who I am. I could be a rockstar or a nobody but my dress sense doesn't get commented on or looked a weirdly.
€40 and €90 t shirts don't look so weird in airports and neither do I.

What should I do?

via4

Wear what you want and pass no heed in what ppl say

racso1975

If we all dressed the same world would be fair boring!!!! As above wear what you want!!! Things will be said but things are always always said no matter what you wear or what size you are.

The thing is how much credence do you put on the opinion of somebody who just follows the norm???

Realt Dearg Sec

I'm guessing you're from a small town?

K_P

Wear what you want and know that for every guy your age in his bootcut jeans and check shirt that makes a snide comment at you, there's two more who wish they had the courage to wear what they want.

As for your fear of pushing the boundaries too far, maybe calm down a bit about that. You're buying clothes that are readily available in shops so nothing you could buy or wear is likely to offend or outrage people.

You come from a rural area and I get the feeling you're pretty young. Not to be patronising but the more you see of the world outside of your small village or town the more you realise just how many people there are out there with the same attitude and outlook as yours. Wear what you want and do so proudly.

baby and crumble

When I was 19 I wanted to dress differently to my peers but I didn't have the guts. As I've aged I realise that 1) I don't really care what most people think about me and 2) 99% of people are too busy worrying about what everyone thinks of them to even pay you any heed.

So now I wear whatever I want and I look great doing it.

Usually.

porsche boy

If I could go back 20 years and talk to myself in my late teens I would say just two things.... everyone is as insecure as you, some just hide it better. Second, people can both laugh at you and laugh with you but it's up to yourself to be happy.

We Wuz Kangz

You could still dress cool but maybe tone it down? A pair of normal boots instead of Chelsea boots, slim jeans instead of skinny jeans? And definitely don't wear women's clothes.

I know where you're coming from though, when I was 20 I wore a pair of chelsea boots out and my friend said "those are the gayest things I've ever seen!" ha ha. Anyway my advice would be dress more conservatively but still try to look cool. Takes years to learn how to dress well anyway.

SarahMollie

We Wuz Kangz wrote: »

You could still dress cool but maybe tone it down? A pair of normal boots instead of Chelsea boots, slim jeans instead of skinny jeans? And definitely don't wear women's clothes.

I know where you're coming from though, when I was 20 I wore a pair of chelsea boots out and my friend said "those are the gayest things I've ever seen!" ha ha. Anyway my advice would be dress more conservatively but still try to look cool. Takes years to learn how to dress well anyway.

Sorry but this is bad advice. You're basically telling him to be boring and tone down who he is.

Wear whatever you want. TBH, there are enough Irish men who can't dress out there without encouraging more to revert to the bog standard Jack and Jones uniform.

Some lads like spending money on cars, others following their football team, and you want to spend money on clothes.

Also, lads wearing womens jeans for the fit has been happening for a while now, so nothing new there. Obviously if its not for actually cross dressing purposes, theres no need to advertise where stuff is from, but just wear what you like.

My advice is to broaden your horizons. Go to London for the weekend and look at the way the lads dress there. Some super sharp dressers, and I'd say they'd put your most daring current looks to shame you'll get serious clothes envy.

LirW

When I was around 12 I started wearing black. I loved wearing black, pretty much the only colour I felt comfortable in. Kids in school used to make fun of me because I'm "a goth" or "so differently dressed" "not feminine". I got a tomboy haircut and people made even more fun of me. I never stopped wearing black. After a certain point I realized this is who I am. I'm the one with the black wardrobe and the high boots (changed the boots with a collection of black sneakers tho) and I like myself that way. Once I started thinking like that I felt a lot more accepted and found out that others dress like that too. Btw I'm not weird, I just love wearing black.

I love seeing people dressing the way they want and I'm sure you rock it. Especially when you live in a small town it can be hard, but believe me you wouldn't feel better changing just because other people would like that. Tried the same, gave all the stuff with flowers away again.
Poster above me says the right thing.

LegacyUser

Ok so I went out for The end of Leaving Cert.
I wore black desert boots, black ripped knee jeans and a blue shirt, that was all fairly conservative and I was still the most 'out there' dressed person on out bus and I was still unlike many in the city!

I did however get compliments, people looked me up and down (lads especially) but didn't say anything, a girl came up to me and said I look like Harry Styles, I got compliments from girls on my bus too.

I still feel like I may push it too far and be seen as that guy who dresses oddly.
'Very rock and roll' was used a lot to describe how I looked that night but that was conservative me.
Will I look like a wannabe if I wear scoop neck t shirts, Chelsea boots maybe some jewellery?
I am a musician and i do appear a little feminine at times. I mean when I dance it's like a shorter less coordinated Mick Jagger takes over!
I love that 'rockstar' look but without looking like I'm going to fancy dress.. But where's the line when you live in a small town?

K_P

Still dressingody wrote: »

Will I look like a wannabe if I wear scoop neck t shirts, Chelsea boots maybe some jewellery?

Probably not, probably only if you appear self-conscious about what you're wearing.

Still dressingody wrote: »

But where's the line when you live in a small town?

Anything up to Leigh Bowery levels of dressing and you're fine.

Why are you so worried about where "the line" is. You're a young guy and you seem confident enough in knowing your tastes and knowing who you are. I don't think you've outlined anything that would be shocking to even the smallest and most conservative town. Wear what you want and don't worry about anyone else's opinions. And honestly, some low cut tshirts or some boots aren't going to rock anyone's world quite the way you think they will.

Emme

OP what are you going to do now your Leaving Cert is finished? I would strongly advise you to get out of that small town and study in a city or even a bigger town. It isn't healthy for you to stay in a place where you have to dress like Garth Brooks without the cowboy hat to fit in with the other lads. Your current environment sounds like a place where most people dress the same and drinking and fighting are the main pastimes at weekends. The boys are probably jealous of you because you get so much attention from girls.

When I was in my teens some guys wore girls' Sasparilla jeans (showing my age here) for the fit. That was the 80s and certain people used to wear all black then too. These people used to stand out in small towns and get slagged for it and called Cureheads because they dressed like Robert Smith from the Cure (really showing my age now :eek: )

Wear what you like as long as it doesn't break the bank. You need to save if you want to get out of that small town. Irish people follow the herd very much especially outside the city and it's easy to appear different. If you're going to dress differently you're going to stand out and you're going to get a certain amount of stick for it. If you're prepared for that fine. If you can't take the stick you'll have to tone down your image but I really don't advise that.

The most important thing for you is to get out of that small town as soon as possible.