Must I tell??

marklynch065

Hey guys!

Ok so there's a guy I've been chatting to lately. Met him online really lovely and ticks all the boxes. I'm hoping to meet up with him soon in the flesh.

Like I mentioned in previous posts I came out this year and I'm on the cusp of turning 29 with no real experience re: dating/intimacy. I have not revealed this to him yet and if we do decide to have sex I don't think it I need to tell him. Is this wrong?

If we hit it off and things get more serious I'd 100% let him know he was my 'first' but part of me feels it's a bit unnecessary at this point.

What do you think?

Many thanks

amos13

19 or 29, doesn't matter. It's personal to you and only you. I don't know anyone who told their first that they were it. If you feel comfortable enough saying it, then do. If not, don't. If you've only recently come out then you've spent enough of your life worrying about what other people think, just do what you're comfortable with from now on.

amos13

BTW, I'd be wary of using your full real name when talking about personal issues on an online forum. Your bf, family or colleagues could potentially be members. Best thing about this site is you can ask personal things anonymously :-)

marklynch065

Hey thanks a million for your reply! Ya I think I'll just keep my mouth zipped for now. If things go further I'd feel more comfortable. Haha oh I'm using an alias lol cheers tho!

lyinghere

Going on about it probably would be annoying! I only say this because you have posted this up here a few times and got the same response that if the other guy is genuine it wont matter, but yet you keep asking. I'd find it annoying it someone asked me and I said it was fine but then they subsequently asked again and again. You are making a bigger deal of it than any date will I reckon. it's really not a big deal. Relax, and just enjoy yourself and the date for what it is.

Mr.Frame

Just go with the flow. IF you get intimate you will know what to do
Enjoy yourself , have fun and play safe of course

wakka12

Unnecessary! If I was in his position I would be surprised that you were a virgin (with guys..?) at 29 but I wouldnt mind in the slightest! And I don't see why he or anyone else would mind either. If anything Im sure he'll feel very complimented that he's your first. So yeh if you don't feel comfortable telling him then don't as you shouldn't feel the need to. But just saying, I doubt anything negative could come of it

marklynch065

Guys thank you for your replies. We met for drinks few times and things progressing. He knows nothing yet.

I really don't mean to be going on about it but I guess I 'm just deeply ashamed of myself. I feel like a complete odd ball for never having 'done the deed' before.

I hid my sexuality away for years and never had the slightest bit of interest in women so I remained celibate all my life until now. Religious fears, body hang ups, and general lack of confidence kept me in this position. I yearned so badly to be with a guy but being gay (given my circumstances) was a major no no until recently.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't frightened. It's most likely a bigger issue in my mind than in reality but it seems like everyone on earth has had sex except me.

Anyhow guys vent over. You guys are great and I appreciate your replies/ support as always.

wakka12

marklynch065 wrote: »

Guys thank you for your replies. We met for drinks few times and things progressing. He knows nothing yet.

I really don't mean to be going on about it but I guess I 'm just deeply ashamed of myself. I feel like a complete odd ball for never having 'done the deed' before.

I hid my sexuality away for years and never had the slightest bit of interest in women so I remained celibate all my life until now. Religious fears, body hang ups, and general lack of confidence kept me in this position. I yearned so badly to be with a guy but being gay (given my circumstances) was a major no no until recently.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't frightened. It's most likely a bigger issue in my mind than in reality but it seems like everyone on earth has had sex except me.

Anyhow guys vent over. You guys are great and I appreciate your replies/ support as always.

I wish you the best of luck Btw adult virginity is much more common than you think and its that mindset 'I must be the only virgin at this age in the world' that creates a vicious circle that locks many adult virgins into celibacy for very long amounts of time.