Toddler hitting

LegacyUser

Hi all

I see another thread here about a similar issue, but the age group is different.
I have a 2 year old who has recently begun hitting other children. Particularly on the head.
If you look at her, you can see 90% of the time she is not doing it out of malice - it's almost out of curiousity. I know it's a phase but I can't just ignore it, it's not acceptable behaviour.

However I'm looking for ways to deal with it. I've tried a lot of things, and at the moment I'm simply removing her from the situation - upstairs, back to the car, into the buggy, whatever. I just feel like I'm getting nowhere and I feel she's doing it now to get a reaction out of me. I don't lose the head generally but when you're with people and she hits their child on the head for the 4th/5th/6th time in an hour, I begin to get severely p*&ed off and frustrated. She'll always go for younger kids too. It's completely embarassing when you don't know the other parents well and to be honest, she does need to get the message that it's not acceptable behaviour.

If anyone has any tips on how to deal with this, I'd really appreciate. Her language is quite good, but I can see sometimes it's a communication thing - such as people visiting and kids playing with her toys when she doesn't want them to - but other times it's almost as if it's just for the heck of it, or to see what happens if a certain toy meets the nearest child's head. We have recently had a new baby (a couple of months ago), but this was happening before the baby arrived. She'll also tell you after the event that she hit XYZ and that it's not nice.

Anyone?

Moonbeam

Have you tried a reward chart? My 3 year old can lash out too but tries so hard in school to earn his stars.

LegacyUser

Do you think that might work? She's only just 2 and I'm not sure would she understand the concept yet - ie don't hit while we are at X's house and you'll get a star. I'm willing to try it all right, but I'm not sure if she's a bit young to get that yet.

Zizigirl

shesty wrote: »

Hi all

I see another thread here about a similar issue, but the age group is different.
I have a 2 year old who has recently begun hitting other children. Particularly on the head.
If you look at her, you can see 90% of the time she is not doing it out of malice - it's almost out of curiousity. I know it's a phase but I can't just ignore it, it's not acceptable behaviour.

However I'm looking for ways to deal with it. I've tried a lot of things, and at the moment I'm simply removing her from the situation - upstairs, back to the car, into the buggy, whatever. I just feel like I'm getting nowhere and I feel she's doing it now to get a reaction out of me. I don't lose the head generally but when you're with people and she hits their child on the head for the 4th/5th/6th time in an hour, I begin to get severely p*&ed off and frustrated. She'll always go for younger kids too. It's completely embarassing when you don't know the other parents well and to be honest, she does need to get the message that it's not acceptable behaviour.

If anyone has any tips on how to deal with this, I'd really appreciate. Her language is quite good, but I can see sometimes it's a communication thing - such as people visiting and kids playing with her toys when she doesn't want them to - but other times it's almost as if it's just for the heck of it, or to see what happens if a certain toy meets the nearest child's head. We have recently had a new baby (a couple of months ago), but this was happening before the baby arrived. She'll also tell you after the event that she hit XYZ and that it's not nice.

Anyone?

Hugs Shesty, it's not a nice situation to be in. My little boy is just gone three and we went through this stage for a long time. I always tried to notice the signs before it happened. Some of the things I noticed were that it was always when he was tired/hungry/scared and the big one, frustrated. Once he thought he'd get a big reaction he would do it and watch for the reaction. So with certain people, couple of aunties/cousins he would constantly slap but this was more because of the crazy reaction he'd get. In general it was the above four scenarios.

I always got to his level and talked him through it and asked him to show me gentle. This was in actual fact removing him enough from the situation most of the time but sometimes we would have to leave a situation if I was to keep him from slapping other children. More often than not this was his way of telling me we need to go! As his language skills came on I was able to talk and request a little chat as to why we don't slap our friends. On the few occasions that I totally lost it, due to my own hurt if he'd slapped/kicked me or my embarrassment at him slapping a baby, I only succeeded in scaring him and we ended up two roaring crying messes! It's not easy but remember that they really don't understand yet and this too shall pass!

LegacyUser

That's fantastic Zizigirl. Sometimes I can see the signs, like I said, but other times it just seems to be total curiousity. Or something. She is getting a big reaction out of some people alright and that makes it worse. She did it a lot the other day and by the end of the day it was all she was talking about so I began to wonder if I was making too big a deal out of it. It's a hard line to walk - trying to teach her that it's not acceptable, while trying to not to make a massive deal out of it because it encourages her to do it more.

She doesn't slap or hit at me thankfully and I absolutely will not allow that. I like your idea of getting to her level and asking her to show me gentle. I've been telling her over and over to play gently and she knows the words, if not the concept, yet. I like the reward chart idea too but I feel she's a bit young still for it - you know the way with this age group it tends to have to be instant on the spot stuff, rather than waiting an hour or two and bringing it up again. Although I think, given her generally good understanding, it will be one I will use in the coming months alright.

Thanks for all the help, here's hoping it improves!!