Maternity Leave length

SL10

Hi All

Just looking for advice on how long people usually take for mat leave. I am currently on mat leave and need to decide whether to take additional unpaid time and how much of the 16 weeks to take. My baby will be starting in a creche when I go back and without unpaid leave she will be just 8 months.

I am considering not taking any additional leave (due to the reduction in income and as I don't want to be out of work too long) but I am worried that at 8 months I will find it difficult to leave my baby in the creche. What is the average age of babies starting in creches?

Aveen

Hey, it's a hard decision. I went back when my DS was 8months and he was great. Nice age I actually think and plan the same this time around.
It a personal choice and I would recommend having a trail period with minder/crèche before you go back. Helps you getting back into the flow

Moonbeam

I used some annual leave to work a 3 day .She was born Jan 1st and I went back Sept 1st and 2nd was born 22nd Jan and I sent back in September too.

It was hard

mirrorwall14

End of January baby started with the childminder at the end of August. we both coped. I really appreciated him in the evenings

sareer

I went back when my son was 8.5 months and it was not so easy. Separation anxiety had already kicked in and he still holds onto my jacket and cries when I leave him in the morning. He also does not sleep all that well and refuses to sit by himself an play; he wants to be held but they tell me he is improving now. At least he eats well. It's his fourth week next week. I put him into the creche two weeks before my official back-to-work day so that I have peace of mind he is settled. I would say I am happy I stayed home this long despite the long unpaid stretch as he is more independent now than he would have been at six months. On top of that I he has been exclusively breastfed (no pumping) so this made it easier to continue for longer. I am from Germany where children dont usually go to creche before 12 months as thats also how long the standard paid maternity leave is but then again, pretty much everyone breastfeeds for a year so makes sense. But thats why even nine months seems early to me

nikkibikki

It is very young, it was the most unnatural thing in the world for me. My oldest was 7months when I went back and the twins were 6months. I resigned from work when they were 11 and a half months.

I put my oldest into creche for a week before I was due back. I was due back the following Monday. Ended up in hospital with him Sunday night. He had a bad RTI. He got sick lots as a baby with RTI's and croup but is a healthy 8yr old now who never gets sick.

The twins I was leaving with my mother, she knew i had planned on leaving work so she offered to do those few months for me. So had no such worries about them being really sick plus she still minded them when they were a bit sick.

I got diagnosed with arthritis shortly after I left work and have been unable to work since.

Do what's right for your family OP. If you can afford the extra leave, go for it. Most women I worked with took the whole lot and some added Parental Leave onto it too. I just couldn't afford it. Wish i could have.

sareer

Same for us with the RTI in week three. He has been sick for a week now and doctor said it's normal. First week back to work and I took three half-day leaves to stay home with him as fever and cough were awful. I hope he will recover over the weekend as I am not sure my boss will continue to be as lenient.

nikkibikki

sareer wrote:

Same for us with the RTI in week three. He has been sick for a week now and doctor said it's normal. First week back to work and I took three half-day leaves to stay home with him as fever and cough were awful. I hope he will recover over the weekend as I am not sure my boss will continue to be as lenient.

Mine were understanding thankfully, i didn't actually go back til the following Monday as he was too ill to return to creche for that week. Used 5 precious annual leave days.

nikkibikki

I've been sending my twins to creche 2days a week since they were 13months and they didn't get as sick as easily as the older lad did at 7months. I def think they benefited from being that bit older. But if you've no choice OP, what can you do.

sareer

Just a note on the parental leave - your employer does not have to give you all 18 weeks at once. Mine refused to give out more than six weeks at a time. I have read the law implies you can request it and they cannot move by more than six months. Realistically one can easily burn bridges with parental leave, at least seems so in my company. I have not used it so far as I have been unpaid for six out of nine months and it is time to get some more income into our household!

contrary_mary

My first went into crèche at 9 months and we never had a tear shed going in even on day one. Another couple or months and he had become quite clingy so I was glad he was well settled at that stage. He's in a small crèche and 1.5 years on is still with the same girls who he absolutely adores (such heartbreak recently when one of them went on her holidays!).

I'm hoping to send the second lad in around the same age as it worked so well the first time.

They're used to getting babies from 6/7 months on as so many can't afford the unpaid leave unfortunately.

sareer

So true, each baby is different! My friend's baby is the exact same age and does not mind strangers or new places. My son is very careful about new people and places so we have to take it slow. Creche is also not the one and only choice for a reason - some might be better off with a child minder. I prefer creche for many reasons but just have to take to slow

angeldelight

I don't get paid holidays me wasn't paid for maternity leave so went back when my daughter was 5.5 months old. I hated every second of it even though I was leaving her with my dad who's a completely doting grandfather. We both survived though!

jlm29

I went back after my first when he was 9mths, and will do the same this time. Today, and the summer hols haven't even started, I'm thinking seriously that I might go a bit crazy. I love my kids, but the older one is literally everywhere I go!!! I locked the bathroom door the other day and had a bath, just for 10 minutes of quiet, and he sat outside on the landing shouting in at me, yikes!!
I would seriously love if there was an option to take the half unpaid maternity leave - as in, work half days for the duration, or 2.5 days a week or something. I think I'd be a much better person, and a more fun mam if I could go to work just a little bit of the time!!!

detoxkid

10 months here for my daughter and she adored it from day one. I'm off again with my nearly six month old and I'll go back when she is ten months too. I hate going back - I hate my job which doesn't help - but it has to be done. I'm using my annual leave to go down to a four day week which is another good option

tickingclock

I returned to work when my daughter was 7 months old. I remember feeling strongly at the time that it was right for me. I was terrified of getting post natal depression. I was afraid if I told the extra 12 weeks I'd develop it. I also did not get paid for my maternity leave so money was a consideration!
I began sending my daughter into the creche 6 weeks before I returned to work. I was very happy with the creche and how they allowed me build up the time she was there. I watched her interact with other children and I was very content with the creche. My daughters Granny minds her the days she's not in the creche. For me being happy with the childcare arrangements made it much easier. I also found I savoured my time off with my daughter a lot more. She settled into the creche and her Grannys very well. Everyone is different and different arrangements work for different families.

LegacyUser

8.5 months on no.1 and probably about 9 for no.2 ( on leave now).Good childcare really helped.But if I'm honest, I hated i and still haven't really accepted it.Our biggest consideration is money.I put some away every month from the start of the pregnancy all the way through and we see what we have and stretch it as far as we can.
I'm not so concerned about work that I'm in a hurry to go back.I feel work will always be there, I'll be working for years yet, but my kids will only be small once.But it's a personal decision.

blondchick

I am an older boardy who had only 12 weeks maternity leave with an optional 8 weeks unpaid. Baby was born early so I had to go back when she was 15 weeks old. She is a happy and healthy well adjusted 16 year old now so Mums don't beat yourselves up. Do what you have to do! You won't believe it now but the most time your kids really need you is when they are in school. I eould save parental leave until then.

SL10

Thanks for all the replies everyone - they were really helpful and have made me feel a bit better about it all. I think I am going to go back when she is nearly 8 months and try to put her into the creche gradually from 7 months and hope that she gets on well. She quite likes being around other babies and seems to get bored when she is home with me all day so I'm hoping she will settle in well

rainbow kirby

I had been planning to go back in mid-November when my son will be 7.5 months old, but considering taking another 6-7 weeks and just waiting until after Christmas. The cost of childcare in London is absolutely horrendous and I would get statutory maternity pay until mid-December anyway, then just burn some accumulated annual leave and take advantage of the bank holidays.

Sapphire

I cobbled together my annual leave before and after maternity leave, and took the extra unpaid maternity - we could just about afford it if we were very careful. I'm glad I did because the baby was 11months old going into full time childcare.

pwurple

Baby went way overdue, born 4 weeks after I had started mat leave. I went back full time when she was 4 1/2 months old. No choice, I was the higher earner, and got no employer 'top up' so we were completely screwed financially. What would have suited us really well would have been the ability to transfer some of my leave to my husband, who was only too willing to take it, and his employer tops up, so that the baby could be with one parent while so young.

But it's not allowed here. (one exception actually, if he is widowed it can transfer, but me being dead in order to transfer it was a requirement too far for me).

Second baby, they cut the benefit two months before I was due, so I hadn't enough saved to survive the whole leave thing. Shifting goalposts mid pregnancy is always awesome. She was born the day after I finished work though... Better timing, so she was 5 months when I went back. Would have liked to afford the six, ah well.

It's up to yourself and your personal circumstances really.