What to do

hopgirl

Need some help with a decision on what to do with my life. At the moment it's like two roads in front of me but don't know which one should I take.

One road that I am on at the moment is I am in college and going into third year of my course. There is a stream that I love to do but I know it is going to be very full on and if I miss a day there be a lot of catching up to do. I also can stay on route where I am now which I do enjoy and in forth year can go and do a stream that I like but all the jobs would be in Dublin for that area of work. The only thing it be easy to catch up if I had to miss a day. I have a daughter and also a single mother so could not afford to live up there.

The other road is stay where I am and defer my course for a year. For reasons I feel so guilty my daughter is home with my parents and she also has SN. I am gone for two nights plus I travel the other days. I would love if she was with me. I tried to find accommodation two years ago, when I started my course but I was getting turned away and been a single mother plus the rent has increased.
Teacher made a comment that when I am around she is more settled and happy in herself. I want to do what is best for my daughter but then on the other hand if I don't have my degree I still be in a dead end job. I know I am lucky to have a job but it isn't going anywhere. My job is not child friendly my weekends are gone working.

I also want to give her a better life but then my mum comments that I won't be able to move. I would have to move with dd down the line for a job. Also their be more services for dd even if I had to get her private therapies atleast it's on the door step than having to travel. My mother thinks I wouldn't be able to do it on my own. I feel then doing this course is pointless. If I pick the stream that is full on atleast I could stay in the area but it two hour journey each day to work.
Sorry for a long post.

hopgirl

Mods can you please move to personal issues as I don't know how it got posted to bereavement. Thank you

Ursus Horribilis

There are no easy solutions to this but I think long term you'd be better off sticking it out and getting your qualification. As you've pointed out yourself, you're going to be stuck in dead end jobs if you don't qualify. You can't predict the future. Perhaps you might get the chance to work nearer to home. Or you might be able to use your qualification for something else?

HelgaWard

Stick with it, keep the head down get your final year done. It will provide more and better oppurtunities for you and your daughter in the long run. Best of luck, you sound like a super Mum.

hopgirl

Odus fell down wrote: »

There are no easy solutions to this but I think long term you'd be better off sticking it out and getting your qualification. As you've pointed out yourself, you're going to be stuck in dead end jobs if you don't qualify. You can't predict the future. Perhaps you might get the chance to work nearer to home. Or you might be able to use your qualification for something else?

Thank you. A few weeks I met an old lecturer I had 10 years ago. Well she was asking me how was I getting on and where I was working. I told her and she was like I hope your a manager that I deserve it. I told her I wasn't and that in my job it's not what you know but who you know. I always give my job my 100% but never seems good enough.
The stream that I was looking at is accountancy be very full on so taking up huge amount of time, which with any course but from talking to other students it seems to be. If I stay on course where I am I would like to do economics and finance. So hard to predict just have to go with the flow I suppose than trying to think to far down the line.

hopgirl

HelgaWard wrote: »

Stick with it, keep the head down get your final year done. It will provide more and better oppurtunities for you and your daughter in the long run. Best of luck, you sound like a super Mum.

Thank you don't know do I feel that way sometimes 😊. I have two more years to go but I say they fly like the last two years.

HelgaWard

hopgirl wrote: »

The stream that I was looking at is accountancy be very full on so taking up huge amount of time, which with any course but from talking to other students it seems to be.

Accountancy might be a good stream to do, they need accountants all over Ireland, it might be something you are more likely to get work in, outside of a big city?

Ursus Horribilis

My gran always used to say "education is no load" and she was right. I can understand why you're thinking of backing out - you have an awful lot on your plate and you are obviously a great mum. But if you quit your course, you could find yourself looking back later on and wishing you'd not been so 'short term" with your thinking. It's never going to be easy to upskill in your position and there will always be variations of your current predicament to deal with. At the moment you're in a position to rely on family support and that's really great. That might not be available to you down the line if circumstances change.

I know it's hard to see your daughter unsettled and to have people say these things to you. But remember they have agendas too. They might not mean you any harm but it's something to bear in mind. At the end of the day, you're the only person who'll look after you. To me, if that means some short term pain so you can get a better job and ultimately have more money in your pocket/better working hours, then you'd be mad to drop out.