Only option left is to move/Emigrate?

LegacyUser

Hi all

This is my situation.....

I ended up getting work in my profession (I'm very lucky to have employment in the area I work in) back in my hometown a few years ago.
However, as the years have gone by, I have now reached a point where I feel there is nothing for me here.

I have nobody to go out with and socialise with. All of my current friends have gotten married and started having kids, are getting married or engaged. They don't bother going out now that they have coupled up.

I do take the initiative and try to organise gatherings, going for a few drinks, a night out etc., but it always falls flat. For the friends who have kids, I do make the effort to call out to their houses and visit them and their kids etc.

Nobody wants to go anywhere anymore! Even for my 30th birthday recently, a good few of them didn't go; I would have gone to their 30ths,engagement parties, hen parties, weddings etc. They are happy to stay at home now. At this stage I almost feel like I am begging people to come out with me! I am also realistic enough to realise that at this age (I've just recently turned 30), that this is a part of life and that people do settle down and their priorities do change.

I am single and live alone and to be honest I don't feel anywhere near ready to settle down, get married, have kids etc. I have just recently turned 30 and I still want to party, experience new things and enjoy my freedom.

I have tried so hard to expand my social circle and make new friends. I have joined several things over the past year. But there is one major problem.....there are very few people in their mid to late 20s/early 30s around here. The vast majority of my peer group emigrated during the recession and never came back. So in all of the activities I go to it is full of an older age group/retired people. So when I do join clubs etc. I do meet lovely people there and get on well with them, but they are my parents age or even older and retired. While it is nice to get to know these people, I still have no one my age to do things with, go out for a few drinks, or have a night out.

So this is where I am at...

There are many advantages to where I am living, I can afford to rent my own place, I don't have to deal with a long commute, heavy traffic, there is a sense of community and it is a nice town. I am near to my family and I am lucky to be able to spend time with them (which has been invaluable as a family member has been sick the past few years).

I love living here, but without any friends left to do anything with, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place! If I had friends to go out with at the weekends and do things with and go places with, I would be quite happy here!

So I have started thinking about my options realistically....I think I really have to move somewhere where there is more going on. I am contemplating moving to a city (it could take a good while to get a job in my area,) or abroad (where there would be plenty of opportunities for work in my area).

Most people my age emigrated in their mid to late 20s, am I a bit late trying to do this? I am worried that I could end up in the very same situation abroad, on my own; it could take a long time to establish a social circle. I am in my 30s now.

Just confused, any advice or perspectives welcome!

SarahMollie

Hi OP.

I think this is quite a familiar challenge to a lot of people, and if you are single and live in a rural area it tends to be amplified.

Unfortunately I do think that if you stay where you are, things will likely continue in the same vain.

I wouldn't say you have to emigrate but perhaps you could start applying for jobs in one of the cities in Ireland. That way, you don't need to move until you've something firmed up.

la cienega

Hi OP, I'm really glad to read this because like you I'm in my early 30s and am just finishing up at college. A lot of friends have dropped off the radar through them settling down and just growing apart too. I hope for an exciting 30s, with travel, fun, still going out and being independent - settling down isn't for me. But I know that especially in rural communities and even larger towns/cities in Ireland, you're sort of directed to settle down within this age bracket.

For me personally, I'd definitely think about emigration and give it a go. Home is always here!

Addle

Yours is such a common feeling OP, it was only just discussed on the radio.
Maybe have a listen here...
http://www.todayfm.com/Advice-from-Niam-Fitzpatrick:-Dealing-With-Loneliness

LegacyUser

Hi all, op here, thanks for posting.

It really does look like my only option is to move. Also I have a family member who is sick and has gotten further bad news about their health situation , so maybe moving to a city in Ireland might be the best place to start... at least I'd be nearer to home. I'd feel guilty moving abroad.