Lost leaving cert student

Macapaca97

I don't know where to start but I just feel like I need to write something about what's going on in my life! I am a fairly intelligent girl, at least I used to be anyway. I got all A grades in the junior cert...yes I know it's meaningless but at least it's something. I've had my heart set on medicine for as long as I can remember but I can't see myself ever becoming a doctor. During transition year I developed an eating disorder, it never got extremely serious but at the end of that summer my parents were worried and took me to get help. By that stage I did have a few problems with health and hormones etc and was glad to get help. However, after I gained wait people kept pushing for just a little bit more just in case of a relapse. I eventually just gave in and gained A LOT of weight, about 30 pounds. Of course no one wanted things to turn out like this and this was partly my own fault due to binging on junk food to relieve my depression. Long story short my life kind of fell apart. I never socialise and while I got all A's in the junior cert with minimal effort, I am getting C's now. I just can't get myself to study, and if u ever muster up any motivation it's futile because my mind is filled with fog and I can't think clearly at all. I've all ready messed up most of my exams. If I repeated next year I would be 20! And also my mother said she doesn't want to put up with me for another year. I actually don't know what i'm doing posting this...I just feel so lost. My teacher noticed that I was really withdrawn a few weeks ago and asked me about it. I tried to explain to her but she basically told me to suck it up and that there are people much worse off then me. So I know I'm pathetic and don't need validation...I suppose I'm just wondering if anyone ever pulled themselves out of something like this?

randylonghorn

Macapaca97 wrote: »

My teacher noticed that I was really withdrawn a few weeks ago and asked me about it. I tried to explain to her but she basically told me to suck it up and that there are people much worse off then me.

Well, that was really helpful! Just shows how much effect all these campaigns about awareness of mental health issues are having ... :rolleyes:

I'd suggest you need to talk to someone who is neutral and capable of actually listening / helping you to see your way through the fog ... i.e. a counsellor.

spurious

Never believe there is any age limit on doing the Leaving. The important thing is to get yourself well. Other things will follow. If you were 21 or 22 or even 27 doing the Leaving, I would be surprised if you were the oldest in your class in college.

Dr Sunshine

Hi Macapaca. Sounds like you're having a rough time and I hope you have someone u can talk to.. Well done on getting this far. Don't fret too much about grades at this stage, just try to get through the exams one at a time. Even if you don't get enough points in LC for medicine there are other ways of getting on in life. If u pass exams u could do a plc and also make sure to include some level 6 and 7 on CAO as if you get into college u might be able to transfer e.g. from nursing or a science course. Right now your health is more important than anything else. Ask for help from family and friends. Look after yourself.

Well done on taking the first step. You need to speak to family and/or your GP. Age is just a number. You will be amazed at the different age groups you will meet in your College class.

Turtle_

Go do a science degree and get into medicine that way. If you know you're not in a place to do the leaving cert and get the required points next year then don't fret over trying to do it that way. So many people I've met have ended up in their careers (I'm not just talking jobs here, proper professional careers) through really indirect routes. Very few of my school friends are working in what they studied first in college. Usually people are much closer to what they did after their primary degree.

Go to college, enjoy 4 years of science, get into medicine that way. You're not lost, you're just taking the scenic route. And while you're enjoying the sights and stopping to admire the flowers along the way, you'll give yourself time to get into a better place psychologically.

Macapaca97

Thank you all for your replies! Yes I do have a psychologist and am on prozac for depression. I know the leaving cert is not the be all and end all but it just really hurts when a few people that you thought were friends seem to be almost happy about your demise and who are probably going to end up getting places in medicine which is my dream...you really discover who is a true friend during times like this.

Wanderer41

Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time, OP. Your health is the most important thing. I wouldn't worry about being 20 finishing school. I am studying medicine in college and 20 would probably be the average age in first year. Many people repeat, do a year of a different course first and then do medicine, or take a year out. Honestly, age doesn't matter. My friend did two years of a course and then decided to start primary teaching at 21. So I would focus on your health first. A year or two doesn't make a difference in the long run. It might be a good idea to mention this to your psychologist/counsellor, even just to let it out. I hope things pick up for you soon.

Macapaca97

Macapaca97 wrote: »

Thank you all for your replies! Yes I do have a psychologist and am on prozac for depression. I know the leaving cert is not the be all and end all but it just really hurts when a few people that you thought were friends seem to be almost happy about your demise and who are probably going to end up getting places in medicine which is my dream...you really discover who is a true friend during times like this.

Shur we Irish love putting people in their place and keeping them there!

You are obviously a bright, sensitive caring person. Don't let the begrudgers change that. Be kind to yourself and ignore those who don't have your best interests at heart. Remember, true friends can be counted on the fingers of one hand. God Bless.

TSMGUY

Jesus, you sound exactly like me 2 years ago.

I was overweight (210lbs), depressed as f*** (undiagnosed bipolar II) and despite being in the "gifted and talented" since I was 7 and usually being the smartest in my school, effing up in every subject. Getting up was a chore. Sometimes I'd just lie down for like 12 hours after I'd woken up and listen to podcasts, totally still. It was not a good place. The LC is the last of your problems right now.

There is hope, though! I lost 50 pounds (at 6'5 160, I'm rather thin now!), I got medicine for my condition (f*** anyone who stigmatizes you for "popping pills", they're ignorant and they have no idea what they're talking about) and I got 510 in the Leaving last year (expect to get 600 now that I'm not depressed!).

Spend the summer losing weight, socializing, going to therapy, getting your head right and then get stuck into the LC next year. Remember, the LC isn't a test of intelligence, it's a test of discipline and knowledge (knowledge is very different from intelligence) that requires you to have your mind right. GL, I'm sure you'll make it! You'll feel great when you achieve your goals.

TheBiz

We had year heads complaining about girls 'faking' panic attacks, they were irritated about having to organise separate centers for people who have exam anxiety etc..
Don't pay them any head. Do you're Leaving, aim for a course (science base if you still want to pursue medicine)
Get every health issue under control go and look at going doing that other degree that interest you with the intent of studying medicine postgraduate.
Repeat, or just leave medicine out of the equation.

Remember your wellbeing is more important that any exam.

User1963

About 7/8 years ago my cousin went through something similar to you, she had a serious eating disorder and I wasn't told much more. She took a year out from the leaving and decided to go back to it the year after, knowing that she would be 20 leaving school. However, after taking the year out she was able to get herself together and came back around and got like 555 points which got her into medecine. She's now a junior doctor and seems happy as ever.
For me, I wanted to do Medecine but after having a pretty bad HPat and the realisation that I wasn't going to get over 550 I've decided to do science in UCD instead, I'm 18 now but if I don't get these points I will certainly be repeating because after all it's not like anyone cares about your age etc in college.
Trying to give a bit of hope!

Macapaca97

TSMGUY wrote: »

Jesus, you sound exactly like me 2 years ago.

I was overweight (210lbs), depressed as f*** (undiagnosed bipolar II) and despite being in the "gifted and talented" since I was 7 and usually being the smartest in my school, effing up in every subject. Getting up was a chore. Sometimes I'd just lie down for like 12 hours after I'd woken up and listen to podcasts, totally still. It was not a good place. The LC is the last of your problems right now.

There is hope, though! I lost 50 pounds (at 6'5 160, I'm rather thin now!), I got medicine for my condition (f*** anyone who stigmatizes you for "popping pills", they're ignorant and they have no idea what they're talking about) and I got 510 in the Leaving last year (expect to get 600 now that I'm not depressed!).

Spend the summer losing weight, socializing, going to therapy, getting your head right and then get stuck into the LC next year. Remember, the LC isn't a test of intelligence, it's a test of discipline and knowledge (knowledge is very different from intelligence) that requires you to have your mind right. GL, I'm sure you'll make it! You'll feel great when you achieve your goals.

Yes you get it! It's just this horrible emptiness and lack of purpose and any motivation which is really what you need to do a good leaving. Your memorisation skills are completely screwed up too which doesn't help. Anyway best of luck with the rest of the exams and I hope you get the 600 points that you deserve!

Macapaca97

User1963 wrote: »

About 7/8 years ago my cousin went through something similar to you, she had a serious eating disorder and I wasn't told much more. She took a year out from the leaving and decided to go back to it the year after, knowing that she would be 20 leaving school. However, after taking the year out she was able to get herself together and came back around and got like 555 points which got her into medecine. She's now a junior doctor and seems happy as ever.
For me, I wanted to do Medecine but after having a pretty bad HPat and the realisation that I wasn't going to get over 550 I've decided to do science in UCD instead, I'm 18 now but if I don't get these points I will certainly be repeating because after all it's not like anyone cares about your age etc in college.
Trying to give a bit of hope!

Thank you! That really does give me hope it's just difficult having to deal with people who just think that 'you cant deal with the pressure' or who say oh yeah 'you're not really as smart as people say you are' because you can't explain to them what is wrong with you as you know they will make little of it or not understand what an effect mental health issues have on so many aspects of our lives. And don't write off your Hpat yet, usually people who do well think that they messed it up! But good luck anyway with whatever happens, as people on here keep telling me, it's not the end- there are so many more 'scenic routes' to your goals.