I'm so boring

sashafierce

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Dr Crayfish

Do you feel like youre missing out? Getting sloshed in the boozer all the time is boring too, I get so sick of it sometimes and I'm usually trying to be more like you! How old are you? There are many other ways to have fun as you should well know

sashafierce

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miezekatze

Not everyone has the same interests, and not everyone enjoys going to pubs, clubs, etc., regardless of their age. I don't like it either, never have, and I only go for birthdays etc. It used to bother me when someone called me boring for that reason, but now I kind of think that the people whose only interest is going out and getting pissed are kind of boring. I'm sure you have other interests, just focus on that.

Flippyfloppy

sashafierce wrote: »

When other people call me boring etc I feel like theres something wrong with me and I'm missing out. But when I go out I just want to be home. Its so loud, expensive and everyone is so obnoxious when they're really drunk. I was always comfortable in the fact I as just passed it but lately the more people comment the more its getting me down. I'm 28 why dont I like going out, I should. I should love wine and clubs like other people my age do but I just dont.

I used to like it, but thinking back I was just really really drunk all the time. I agree, it's loud, and people changing how they usually act and falling all over the place just seems weird now, while I was once a willing participant.
Perhaps your friends will feel the same as you in a couple of years, maybe it's just happened to you first!

Hugo Stiglitz

People would often say the same to me. I've never been in any of the local nightclubs. I only go out for drinks about 8 times a year if even.

chuckles30

You're definitely not alone. I did it for years, but never really enjoyed it. I'm far happier to go out for dinner with my friends or stay in. I do enjoy the odd night where you'd get a good group in a quiet local where you'd be having the chat and the craic, but not where you have to shout to be heard.

meeeeh

You are definitely not the only one but you might be a bit incompatible with your group of friends. If your social life is fine otherwise then just ignore them, if it is not, it might be good joining some clubs and meet people who have more similar interests.

sashafierce

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I don't smoke, hate going to pubs/clubs, never do drugs .. but people would say I'm anything but boring. OP, not wanting to do those things doesn't make someone boring, nor does doing them make anyone not. What matters is everything else about you. If your friends are like that, then it might be time to find some new ones that have other interests.

Find people that match who you are, not people that want you to be something else. You hate going out, so find people that don't like it either.

SarahMollie

well, you're 28 so I'd be expecting you and your group of friends to change your attitude to going out (unless they're a really party hard crew!)

In my early 20s, everyone used to pre-drink, get super dressed up, and head out for a big night, but nights out just arent like that anymore.

I turned 30 this year and while I still socialize plenty, its a much more sedate affair. Pre-drinks don't happen, and we're way more likely to go for local drinks somewhere we can sit and talk rather than into town for a mad night of dancing.

Also, more and more people are coupled up, so some nights are double dates like going out for dinner, and another popular choice would be inviting people over and cooking at home, with some nice red wine.

I find we've definitely gotten better at organising activities to do also, so when its just me and the girls, we'd now often head out for brunch and/or a nice walk like Howth Head or Bray to Greystones.

Have you noticed any of this within your group? This had definitely begun by the time I was 28.

RoyalMarine

I'm 31 and I have absolutely zero interest in alcohol anymore apart from a few with friends/family at Christmas, or the very very rare occasion.

I don't feel boring and those who call me a dryshīte can fùck right off

Faith

What are your hobbies? Grand if you don't like going out to bars and clubs, but what do you do in your spare time?

I think if you have a fulfulling life, you won't be bothered by people accusing you of being boring when you think of it that way.

sashafierce

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Parchment

I dont think i am boring - i dont drink. I used to and it just wasnt a good thing for me so i stopped and my life improved. Many people think its boring as they are narrow minded and thing that being drunk is the only way to have fun - thats their loss. Dont get my wrong - not all people who drink think like that and all my family and friends have no issue with me not drinking.

I have my interests and hobbies. Maybe i am more tame than other 32 year olds - but thats fine by me....i can only be me!

woodchuck

OP as you can see here, there are plenty of people who don't like pub/clubs. It's not my scene either and I don't drink. Do my friends give me a hard time about it? No. Why? Because they're my friends. The issue here isn't you, it's your "friends"...

Maybe you need to get some new friends who have similar interests as you?

Wanderer2010

sashafierce wrote: »

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You have a boyfriend so it cant be that bad, some people try for years with online dating etc to meet someone and they get nowhere. How did you meet him? Presumably he doesn't think you are boring deep down or he wouldn't be with you. you should count your blessings that you have someone and you had the skills to find someone. An enormous amount of people out there cant get to that stage.

nkav86

I drink, go out any chance I get and used to smoke, now vape and like to have fun and let go. I'm still considered boring by people, ultimately it comes down to whether you enjoy your life, you're only living it for yourself.

sashafierce

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Snoopy1

Op I'm exactly like you. Don't like pubs, drinking etc.
My boyfriend thinks I'm really boring, so we never ever go out together unless it's to the cinema. We don't even go on holiday together as we like separate things
I get fed up of comments questioning why I don't really drink, and also why I go on holiday on my own.
Sometimes I get this fear that I'm missing out also

Faith

sashafierce wrote: »

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They're all lovely hobbies, but they're also pretty solitary and home-centric. From an outsider's perspective, they might just see you staying at home all the time. If someone invites you out, and you say you can't because you have to cook/listen to music/watch TV, it's not a very compelling reason to them. How fulfilling is it to you?

It sounds like you would benefit from a hobby that's more active and social. "Can't go out tonight; I'm competing in a tag rugby tournament/ I have band practice/ I'm trying out a new restaurant with X, Y and Z/ I'm learning to rollerblade/ etc" - no-one would accuse you of being boring then! I suspect the label is less about you not being a drinker, and more about your friends not understanding why you don't appear to engage in anything social.

Sport is not age-restricted (unless it's for children) so I don't think you can say there's none "for your age". If you enjoy the cinema, you could join a movie society of some kind. If you like clothes, would you take a dressmaking course? Learn to play an instrument if you enjoy music. Those are just some options.

As others have suggested, the "boring" remarks shouldn't bother you if you are happy and fulfilled with your life. I suggest having an honest think about how satisfied you are, personally, with your life. If you decide that you're perfectly content, then work on how you can stop letting the opinion of others influence you. If you're not perfectly content, work on how you can change that.

Best of luck with it.

sashafierce

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jacksie66

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New.me

Hey embrace and be proud of who you are. It could also be just a phase, but just don't put yourself under pressure because of what other people might think. Life is too short for you to spend doing things that you're not interested so just you can please other people. Be happy darling.

LegacyUser

sashafierce wrote: »

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Now this, I'd be concerned about. Has he said that he finds you boring once, in response to a specific instance of you objecting to socialising? Or has he said it more than once, I.e. Is he 'jokingly' letting you know that he's not happy to repeatedly sit in with you, and can't understand why you both used to like socialising together, but now you don't want to, but he does?

Are you both on different pages re socialising snd nights out -v- 'settling down'?