House guest taking our parking spaces - reasonable to be annoyed?

Dial Hard

Honest opinions appreciated here, folks.

A friend has had to move into my spare room for a few months due to some major building work that has to be done on the house she was renting a room in. For reasons I won't go into, she's paying a very token sum to stay here - it's a fraction of the market rate for the area and less than half of what my sister (whom I live with) and I each pay. We've lived here for 2.5 years and she moved in this week and will likely be here for 3-4 months so it's not just a week or two kind of thing.

Anyway, here's what's bothering me - we have a two-car driveway and my sister and I both have cars. Any time the friend gets home before either of us, she parks in the driveway. Am I being completely unreasonable to expect that she leaves our parking spaces free for us? I want to gauge people's opinions before I say anything to her.

Thanks a mill.

mordeith

Dial Hard wrote: »

Honest opinions appreciated here, folks.

A friend has had to move into my spare room for a few months due to some major building work that has to be done on the house she was renting a room in. For reasons I won't go into, she's paying a very token sum to stay here - it's a fraction of the market rate for the area and less than half of what my sister (whom I live with) and I each pay. We've lived here for 2.5 years and she moved in this week and will likely be here for 3-4 months so it's not just a week or two kind of thing.

Anyway, here's what's bothering me - we have a two-car driveway and my sister and I both have cars. Any time the friend gets home before either of us, she parks in the driveway. Am I being completely unreasonable to expect that she leaves our parking spaces free for us? I want to gauge people's opinions before I say anything to her.

Thanks a mill.

Is she still paying rent in the other place? If not then she should definitely be paying a higher amount to you. And yes, she should leave the spaces to you.

jimmycrackcorm

Just ask her to leave the driveway free for you and your sister to park on. What can she say?

whiskeyman

Depends on where is left to park?
Are there many free spots just on the road?
Personally I would consider it a bit cheeky, especially as she knows she's paying well below the odds and you are doing her a huge favour.
She has to know she is not on a 'level field' with you, so she shouldn't take a spot even if free.
It's basic manners tbh.
Just wondering - who came up with the reduced rate?

Barry Badrinath

If its a 2 car driveway, I would reasonably expect the people who pay full rent to avail of the driveway.

She is essentially a guest....lift and shift!

Speedwell

Does she know you prefer that she not park in the driveway? I agree with the poster above who said to just request she leave it clear so everyone can get in and out.

I don't understand why others posting are getting upset about this. A word should be sufficient if the woman is a friend. If I were that woman, I would be all, "Oh, I'm sorry, sure, no problem".

Galadriel

I think it's very rude of her to just assume she can use a space without checking first, especially as she is not paying full rent.

knucklehead6

Where would she park if not in the driveway? Would she be blocking access to it if she parked in front of the house?

AnonoBoy

Is it one of those awkward situations where 2 people park in the driveway and the third parks across it?

If so then it makes sense for the first person home to park in the driveway.

If the last person home has to park down the street somewhere then yes, she should be doing that as she's not a full tenant in the house really.

More than likely she hasn't even realised that this is putting you out. Some people are just oblivious to these things.

Speedwell

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Where would she park if not in the driveway? Would she be blocking access to it if she parked in front of the house?

I live in a housing estate, and the family who lived in the other side of the semi-d had three teenagers who drove and four cars. They'd put two in the driveway, one on the road to the left of the driveway in a clear space next to the curb, and one on the road to the right of the driveway immediately in front of my house (but not blocking my driveway). Never thought to object.

Dial Hard

mordeith wrote:

Is she still paying rent in the other place?

No, she was living with another friend of ours who owns that house.

jimmycrackcorm wrote:

Just ask her to leave the driveway free for you and your sister to park on. What can she say?

I planned to, just wanted to see if people thought I was being unreasonable first.

whiskeyman wrote:

Depends on where is left to park? Are there many free spots just on the road? Just wondering - who came up with the reduced rate?

There's plenty of on-street parking around. Our house is detatched so lots of space on either side.

The reduced rate was agreed between myself, my sister and our landlady.

knucklehead6

Speedwell wrote: »

I live in a housing estate, and the family who lived in the other side of the semi-d had three teenagers who drove and four cars. They'd put two in the driveway, one on the road to the left of the driveway in a clear space next to the curb, and one on the road to the right of the driveway immediately in front of my house (but not blocking my driveway). Never thought to object.

What would you have you to object about? The road outside your house isn't your road. Once they're not blocking access you can't object.

Speedwell

knucklehead6 wrote: »

What would you have you to object about? The road outside your house isn't your road. Once they're not blocking access you can't object.

I've seen lots of other people object to cars in front of their house. I'm not objecting, though. Doesn't make any difference to me.

iwillhtfu

Dial Hard wrote: »

There's plenty of on-street parking around. Our house is detatched so lots of space on either side.

The reduced rate was agreed between myself, my sister and our landlady.

What's stopping you parking on the road? Seems like you're making an issue out of nothing.

If she's agreed a payment with the landlady then she's a tenant of sorts and equally entitled to park on the drive way.

TheChizler

Unrelated to your question but if she had to move out while there's construction work going on in her rental the landlord is normally obliged to pay for alternative accommodation. Such as a hotel...

Tasden

TheChizler wrote: »

Unrelated to your question but if she had to move out while there's construction work going on in her rental the landlord is normally obliged to pay for alternative accommodation. Such as a hotel...

Think the other house is owned by a friend as opposed to a regular rental property.

Dial Hard

iwillhtfu wrote:

What's stopping you parking on the road? Seems like you're making an issue out of nothing.

Because I'm already doing her a massive favour and I don't really see why I should have to hand over my parking space on top of it?

iwillhtfu wrote:

If she's agreed a payment with the landlady then she's a tenant of sorts and equally entitled to park on the drive way.

The "landlady" is my sister-in-law and the amount was agreed between my SiL and I, not the friend. If she was moving in permanently and paying an equal share of the rent, then yeah, absolutely, she'd be equally entitled to park on the drive. But when she's essentially a long-term guest paying a token gesture, I think it's a bit much. You obviously disagree and that's fine. I wouldn't do it myself if the shoe was on the other foot, which, it actually has been, ironically in this very same house when my SiL still lived here.

I'll have a chat with her over dinner.

iwillhtfu

Dial Hard wrote: »

Because I'm already doing her a massive favour and I don't really see why I should have to hand over my parking space on top of it?



The "landlady" is my sister-in-law and the amount was agreed between my SiL and I, not the friend. If she was moving in permanently and paying an equal share of the rent, then yeah, absolutely, she'd be equally entitled to park on the drive. But when she's essentially a long-term guest paying a token gesture, I think it's a bit much. You obviously disagree and that's fine. I wouldn't do it myself if the shoe was on the other foot, which, it actually has been, ironically in this very same house when my SiL still lived here.

I'll have a chat with her over dinner.

I'm not sure why you're getting up on your high horse.

If you were doing your friend a favour she would be staying for free. She's paying rent to the landlord who has agreed to let her stay and it just so happens the land lord is your sister inlaw.

You can't have it every way.

If you want to ruin a friendship over having to walk an extra few meters if you happen to have to park on the street by all means go ahead.

It seems like you've created and awkward situation yourself and if I were your friend I'd be looking elsewhere. You have no right to tell your friend what she can and can't do while she is paying to live there.

Shelga

I see where you're coming from OP, but it sounds like the reduced rate she is paying has already gotten your back up, regardless of the reasons. This is bigger than the parking issue. This will just be the first thing that you get tense over by the sound of it, next it will be that she's taking too long in the shower, etc.

If there's a good reason she isn't paying more, then just have a very casual word about the parking and then for your own sake try not to get hung up on resentment. It's very draining and not good for anyone living there.

Dial Hard

Shelga wrote:

I see where you're coming from OP, but it sounds like the reduced rate she is paying has already gotten your back up, regardless of the reasons.

It genuinely hasn't. I suggested that rate as I didn't want to charge her more than she was paying in her other place given she has a single room here and also has to share the bathroom with me. She has a whopper deal in that house, hence the very low rate. That's the extent of the backstory to that.

To those of you suggesting I'm some kind of controlling <snip> who just wants to belittle her, I'm a bit gobsmacked, tbh. I asked if I had a right to expect the car parking space I've been paying for for the guts of 3 years to continue to be available for my use and now I'm exploiting a friend.

The_Conductor

I don't get what the fuss is about.
If you want to park in the driveway- just calmly and politely ask her not to do so.

I honestly don't get why this is being blown out of all proportion- OP- if you don't want her staying with you- you should have made this clear at the outset- now it sounds like sour grapes.

I seldom get to park in the same spot two nights running- and I own my own place, I don't rent- I just don't get what all the fuss is about..........

It sounds like you're peeved that she is paying a reduced rent- is that the issue? If it is- you're causing a whole lot of trouble- over pretty much nothing- something else is going to come along in a week's time- you'll blow up over that too- it'll get resolved- and something else will come up a week later- and you will feel backed into a corner more and more- and look more and more petty and malicious with all your peeves...........

Personally- I'd say put up and shut up- you agreed to let her stay- she has a car- as do you and your wife- the fact that there are only two parking spaces is neither here nor there- nor is the fact that she is paying a reduced rent any of your business- its an agreement with your sis-in-law- so it is a case of put up and shut up.

Jambo

OP you may want to consider checking your car insurance and see if you have cover for parking on the street! Quiet a number of policies require the car to be parked in your driveway / or in a secure car park overnight and not on a roadway which may invalidate any claim should one be made.

Dial Hard

The_Conductor wrote:

Personally- I'd say put up and shut up- you agreed to let her stay- she has a car- as do you and your wife- the fact that there are only two parking spaces is neither here nor there- nor is the fact that she is paying a reduced rent any of your business- its an agreement with your sis-in-law- so it is a case of put up and shut up.

I'm a chick and I live with my sister. And the extent of my SiL's involvement was "Is it ok if a friend moves in for a few months, she'll be paying X" and she went "It's your gaff, no skin off my nose".

Anyway.

chin nuts

She's paying rent. It maybe reduced rate rent but it's rent nonetheless. Personally it wouldnt annoy me, first come first served as I see it. The fact that you even thinking about asking her to not park there is a bit arrogant. Yeah your doing her a favour but don't throw it in her face. "Oh I pay more rent " childish

Is there a certain chair in the living room where she can't sit either because that's where u sit, or at the kitchen table?

stoplooklisten

'Does she know she's on reduced rent with conditions? Where the conditions made clear to her? Did she ask for a reduced rent or did you offer?

Big Bag of Chips

I think it's petty. You obviously came up with an amount to charge her, and now maybe you're regretting agreeing to so little? Like it or not it is her accommodation for the next few months. I'm sure you told her to "make herself at home"? But now are a bit peeved that she is! I think you ARE going to get annoyed by trivial things she does. You and your sister had your own little set up going and it worked. Now you have to get used to sharing with a third person.

I wouldn't say anything, but that's just me. It wouldn't bother me to the extent that I'd feel the need to make an issue of it.

The_Conductor

Dial Hard wrote: »

I'm a chick and I live with my sister. And the extent of my SiL's involvement was "Is it ok if a friend moves in for a few months, she'll be paying X" and she went "It's your gaff, no skin off my nose".

Anyway.

Unfortunately- if you had an issue with it- the time to bring it up was when it was mooted by your sis-in-law. Making an issue of this (or subsequent items)- will only appear to be sour grapes.

If you really want to park there- and there are two spots- why don't you talk to your sister and ask her to leave the space free if she gets home before you- or if you're first- you take it- or if you're both ahead of her- you both get to take it.

If you talk to your sister - you can probably come to a mutually agreeable situation- where you get a spot all the time- she gets a spot some of the time- and she gets a spot the odd time- and whoever is odd man out- takes the spot on the road.

Vis-a-vis insurance- if your car was parked on the road and it was damaged- it may not be covered- if you specified it was overnighted on private property- but then again- her policy could very well say the exact same thing..........

Its the sort of issue that you can make into a mountain- there are little ways- such as coming to an agreement with your sister - that might make all this go-away for you.

LionelNashe

Dial Hard wrote: »

Honest opinions appreciated here, folks.

A friend has had to move into my spare room for a few months due to some major building work that has to be done on the house she was renting a room in. For reasons I won't go into, she's paying a very token sum to stay here - it's a fraction of the market rate for the area and less than half of what my sister (whom I live with) and I each pay. We've lived here for 2.5 years and she moved in this week and will likely be here for 3-4 months so it's not just a week or two kind of thing.

Anyway, here's what's bothering me - we have a two-car driveway and my sister and I both have cars. Any time the friend gets home before either of us, she parks in the driveway. Am I being completely unreasonable to expect that she leaves our parking spaces free for us? I want to gauge people's opinions before I say anything to her.

Thanks a mill.

I don't think it would be at all fair to treat the new person like a second class citizen in the house because they're paying less rent. You can't agree that somebody can stay, paying X amount in rent, and then make them feel like you're doing them a massive favour and that they're an imposition for 3 or 4 months. Its not unusual to be territorial over a parking space but its irrational.

Del2005

Jambo wrote: »

OP you may want to consider checking your car insurance and see if you have cover for parking on the street! Quiet a number of policies require the car to be parked in your driveway / or in a secure car park overnight and not on a roadway which may invalidate any claim should one be made.

There's very few secure car parks and if it's an underground in an apartment complex it's the complete opposite.

If youre letting her stay as a favour, then its absolutely ok to tell her to leave the drive clear for you.

sillysmiles

I honestly don't see what the fuss is. If i was the person who had moved in i would totally be parking where ever made sense at the time you got home. There is now three people living in the house. Fill the spaces as first home or the first out parks in the road.
You agreed your FRIEND could move in. You agreed the rate. With on earth would you think she souks act like a second class resident.

Life's too short to fall out with friends over something this stupid.