Struggling to feel positive

catrionanic

So I'm 8 weeks pregnant with my first and I'm feeling so grumpy and nauseous and fed up that I can't summon up any excitement or happiness about being pregnant?

I was soooo happy for the first 2-3 weeks but now I just feel really hard-done-by and pissed off that I'm having to go through all this. I know that sounds really horrible and ungrateful and like I don't want this baby (I do, I'm just having to remind myself of that fact) and that I'll be a rubbish mammy, and I feel guilty for feeling this way, especially when so many people can't have kids and would do anything to be in my position.

I'm also really sick of thinking about the pregnancy 24/7. I feel like it's taking over my life completely and that I can think of nothing else.

Please someone tell me I'm not the only awful person to have these ungrateful, negative thoughts?

spottybananas

I was neutral bordering on pessimistic for my entire pregnancy, I was the very opposite of what movies/social media/people's need to voice only positivity make you believe pregnant women are like It's a stressful, worrying, anxious and often miserable time, totally normal to feel like that! I didn't relax at all, I kept saying I'd relax and enjoy it when baby and I were home from hospital for about a week, as only then would I know all was going to be ok. Some might say negative, I say realistic. Feel however you feel, don't feel guilty or bad, just get through it, that's all you can do

livinsane

You are right in the middle of the sickness stage. It's horrible and miserable. I'm on my second pregnancy and both times, during the first trimester, at times I would have given it all up just to fell well again. Well I'm at 20 weeks now and thinking how nice it would be to have a few more children! My energy levels are fantastic (and I have a 2yr old) and I actually forget I'm pregnant at times.

If your pregnancy is typical, things really improve from 12 weeks on. The second trimester is normally a fabulous time.

Get loads and loads of sleep now, if you can. It really is the only way to feel better. And as much fresh air, even if you don't feel like it.

eviltwin

Pregnancy can be horrible and its okay to feel bad about it. Don't take on the guilt that other people would love to be in your shoes. You are entitled to feel how you feel. Personally I hated every second of being pregnant and I hated the monotony of looking after a newborn, it was only when my kids got old enough to talk that I really felt I was in my element. Even now my kids are older I still have days when I absolutely hate parenting but I love my kids and you will too. You're doing the most physically demanding thing your body will ever do, growing a person. You're allowed feel down about the impact its having. It should get easier but if it doesn't do talk to someone. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

angeldelight

I was exactly the same at your stage! It took us 18 months to conceive so I felt awful that I wasn't enjoying pregnancy. I liked the middle part but the start and end I was miserable. My little girl is 13 months now and I'm thinking about going again but have totally blanked out how crap I felt

theLuggage

This is totally normal. I've been through this three times. Initially all delight and excitement. That wear offs - I mean after you are pretty much the same right? Then you start to feel crappy, exhausted, hormonal, nauseous etc etc etc and it's like being hungover or really sick and totally natural to feel down about it. Your mood should improve as you along.

Don't feel guilty and don't feel like you need to be thinking about it all the time or skipping with glee every second! The miserable bit should pass. When it feels more real and you start to plan your bits. For now just look after yourself and take it easy, on yourself especially.

Just to add as a just in case, if you are in your second trimester (well in) and you still feel this way raise it with your doctor - postnatal depression can start in pregnancy. To be clear I'm not suggesting you have this AT ALL but to be aware that it does exist and mindful of how you go. Being pregnant is a game changer, as is having kids, it's a lot to deal with on all sorts of levels - that's why we get 9 months to prepare

Kantava

My nausea has really subsided in last few days. I'm 11 weeks now. You'll get there. I think week 8 was the worst.

stefanovich

In 6 months you will be a mother and have a family of your own. Focus on that.

LegacyUser

We really wanted to get pregnant and tried for about a year before it happened. And now that it has, I'm just worried and anxious and sick (although no morning sickness really, just feel very hungover all the time). We have to move house as where we are is damp & cold and I'm worried about where we're going to end up because there are about 6 houses to rent in the whole country. We'll need to buy a new car because ours won't work with a kid and I'm worried about how we're going to afford that. We have a large & expensive event this year that we can't avoid and it just couldn't be coming at a worse time. I don't really know anyone else with a kid and I'm worried about feeling alone and I wish I had someone irl to talk to. But then when I told my sister I just couldn't relate to her excitement, because I don't have any of my own now/yet, so I came away from that feeling like an asshole too. On top of the tiredness, properly sore breasts and near constant low level nausea.

All things I knew about and decided to get knocked up despite of and it's going to be fine but yeah, there's not much chance of me feeling positive for a while (unless some delightful hormones kick in). Blah.

Lucuma

It's the nausea - it's such a sh!tty time. That is actually the thing that would put me off going again coz on no.1 it lasted 10 weeks and on no.2 it lasted 15 weeks!! It's the most awful feeling ever. I found it the hardest part of the whole pregnancy bar nothing. It saps every bit of your happiness and you just feel like sh!te 24 hours a day except when you're asleep! It will pass !!!!!

cupcake queen

I can understand completely; I'm nearly 8 weeks and it just seems completely surreal. I think part me is afraid and part of me just thinks it is unbelievable! We told our families this week and that made me feel a bit more reassured that everything would be ok...it was awful not being able to talk to anyone about it. I feel rotten with nausea though, constant hangover feeling and instead of being this earth mother that I envisaged, eating veggies and swimming and doing yoga, I can't peel myself off the sofa and am eating worse than I have in years! I have just eaten a plate of oven chips which are something I haven't eaten since I was a teenager. I would very very rarely cook chips at home but this is the third time this week. I think the poor diet is not helping my mood but at the moment it's all I can manage Hoping that things will improve in the weeks to come...pinning all my hopes on this second trimester!

catrionanic

Thanks guys. Some of those replies have really helped. It's great to hear I'm not the only miserable, ungrateful, whingey ****er who is hating every moment of pregnancy and wishing she wasn't pregnant at all.

Roll on second trimester.... Feels like forever away though!!

Beanybabog

catrionanic wrote: »

Thanks guys. Some of those replies have really helped. It's great to hear I'm not the only miserable, ungrateful, whingey ****er who is hating every moment of pregnancy and wishing she wasn't pregnant at all.

Roll on second trimester.... Feels like forever away though!!

I felt the same. The second trimester is much better!! I felt sick and tired and miserable fro a few weeks, but in hindsight it wasn't that many weeks, it just feels like a lifetime at the time. I think if you have any spare annual leave it might be worth taking a couple of days if you can. I found around 9/10 weeks it starts to subside

appledrop

All those feelings are totally normal when your having a crappy time with the morning sickness. I had a horrible first trimester. Seriously it was the sickest I had ever been in my whole life+ I'll never forget it. Even the labour wasn't as bad as those first few months! I had the extreme form of morning sickness so it meant trips to hospitial. My pregnancy was very much wanted + I was very upset about how low I felt. However my husband was great + put it in perspective. As he said if anyone else was sick non stop for 3 mths + was still going to work everyday we would think they were mad but for some reason your meant to just put up with it when your pregnant. The good news is that while my sickness did last till 17 weeks after that I had a good pregnancy with no problems + now have an amazing little baby so it is all worth it in the end.

Beanybabog

appledrop wrote: »

I had the extreme form of morning sickness so it meant trips to hospitial. My pregnancy was very much wanted + I was very upset about how low I felt. However my husband was great + put it in perspective. As he said if anyone else was sick non stop for 3 mths + was still going to work everyday we would think they were mad but for some reason your meant to just put up with it when your pregnant.

Agree with him. I read a lot about this, and how rubbish some health care professionals are, just telling women to eat crackers and suck it up. Pregnancy can be very very hard for some people. There's just a lack of understanding and in my opinion, respect, for what some people are going through.

Moonbeam

*huge hugs* I felt sorry for myself on all 4 pregnancies.
I adore kids and babies but struggled through pregnancy.
I couldn't easily empty and fill a dishwasher and would burst out crying!!

Kantava

Me too. I cant understand why women are expected to work as usual through this period. I wasn't even the worst and I felt lucky to have the flexibility to take a nap when I needed it.

Beanybabog

Kantava wrote: »

Me too. I cant understand why women are expected to work as usual through this period. I wasn't even the worst and I felt lucky to have the flexibility to take a nap when I needed it.

My friend said she used to go to the bathroom and lock herself in a cubicle to close her eyes for 15 minutes at at time! Nightmare. Under no other circumstances would people work in that state, but I suppose we feel we have to. I was very lucky I never needed to take time off but I can imagine I wouldn't have coped very well if I was sick

theLuggage

Beanybabog wrote: »

Agree with him. I read a lot about this, and how rubbish some health care professionals are, just telling women to eat crackers and suck it up. Pregnancy can be very very hard for some people. There's just a lack of understanding and in my opinion, respect, for what some people are going through.

This!! This medieval attitude people have just gets on my nerves - I totally agree. By the way there is a medicine for morning sickness called Cariban. It's an old fashioned antihistamine and vitamin B complex, which is considered safe in pregnancy. I was prescribed it on my last pregnancy from 9 weeks and it worked wonders. Not enough women know about it or are offered it in my opinion.

mirrorwall14

Just wanted to support everyone else in saying this is normal but also to put a warning in. My second trimester wasn't much better. I didn't stop throwing up until week 24 and then the horrendous heartburn kicked in about week 26 making me nauseous all over again. Pregnancy was hard. Every trimester had its own stuff and problems. Would I do it again? Hell yes. Would I moan my way through it if it was the same scenario? Absolutely!