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So worried about someone

  • 09-06-2016 9:29pm
    #1
    Hammer89
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭


    I wouldn't wish years of obesity on my worst enemy. You can imagine, then, how utterly devastated I am to see my sister, someone I love very, very much, signing up for something I battled for a very long time.

    She's gaining weight through comfort eating and I'm terrified she'll end up like I used to be. I had weight problems for years and it's destroying me to see her follow in my footsteps. It's, like, I see myself in her so much and she simply has no idea what she's getting herself in for.

    The obvious suggestion would be to talk to her, but I'm worried that will accelerate the process. Guilt and shame are elements of emotional eating, and I don't want those emotions to flare up if I try to speak to her about it - and they will flare up.

    She'll be ashamed about how sad I am over her eating habits, and then guilty, but this is counter productive because I fear she'd only eat more then.

    Broaching this subject with her is a minefield of sorts. One wrong step and it's game over. The only saving grace is I know the course, which might help, but I'm still too scared to make a step incase it's the wrong one.


Comments

  • #2
    gercoral
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 251 ✭✭gercoral


    what if you suggested going walking together or something? try and be discreet though..like of a Sunday afternoon, go for a spin and try and encourage some form of exercise, but try and keep it up?


  • #3
    BetsyEllen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭BetsyEllen


    gercoral wrote: »
    what if you suggested going walking together or something? try and be discreet though..like of a Sunday afternoon, go for a spin and try and encourage some form of exercise, but try and keep it up?

    This sounds like something deeper than an issue that can be solved by a Sunday afternoon stroll.
    Serious weight loss and changing eating habits that have developed over time takes extreme dedication, motivation and a real want to do it.

    OP I don't know what else to suggest other than talking to her, even though that's the last thing you want to do.
    Are you very close? Have you ever spoken to her about your issues, what you went through mentally when you yourself were obese?

    One idea could be to ask her to join you at a weight loss club, one of the types that has a weekly support group. You could possibly give a little white lie to say you are worried that you're slipping back into old habits and need some moral support to go along to one of these groups...then hope that taking her along will open her eyes to what is happening in her own life.


  • #4
    gercoral
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 251 ✭✭gercoral


    BetsyEllen wrote: »
    This sounds like something deeper than an issue that can be solved by a Sunday afternoon stroll.
    Serious weight loss and changing eating habits that have developed over time takes extreme dedication, motivation and a real want to do it.

    OP I don't know what else to suggest other than talking to her, even though that's the last thing you want to do.
    Are you very close? Have you ever spoken to her about your issues, what you went through mentally when you yourself were obese?

    One idea could be to ask her to join you at a weight loss club, one of the types that has a weekly support group. You could possibly give a little white lie to say you are worried that you're slipping back into old habits and need some moral support to go along to one of these groups...then hope that taking her along will open her eyes to what is happening in her own life.


    yeah i know that, but start small. if the OP suddenly develops an urge to go to a slimming club and just "happens" to mention it to her friend, of course the friend is going to get suspicious. perhaps try a new pastime like dancing and ask if she'd like to accompany you


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