Moody after having a baby

laurey

Is it normal for a girls moods to change a lot after having a baby? and how long do these moods last? Thanks

hairyslug

laurey wrote: »

Is it normal for a girls moods to change a lot after having a baby? and how long do these moods last? Thanks

Yes, massive hormonal changes are occurring in her body, and how long is a piece of string.


My wife suffered body from them on our first, partly down to difficulties during the birth.

PPD was quite bad for our 2nd, but over time it got better, honesty I'm sorry but I can't remember how long it took.

If overly concerned maybe consider going to a GP

Sapphire

Depends on what you mean by moody.

Sleep-deprived, brand new mother, hormones all over the place, plus priorities tend to massively shift in favour of the baby.

Are you her friend /partner/ family member? Or is it a question you are asking for yourself?

eviltwin

Completely normal. Anyone who is sleep deprived on a regular basis would be moody and that's without the small child to care for. Its also exacerbated by hormonal fluctuations. What will help is having people take the baby off your hands for a few hours to let you get some sleep, make sure you are eating properly and try and get outside for a bit every day. It doesn't last forever, it can seem like its endless at that stage but things will settle down and sort themselves out so hang on in there.

seamus

laurey wrote: »

how long do these moods last? Thanks

At least 18 years.

No, seriously, it's very normal for a lot of stuff to get turned on its head after a child is born. Immediately, definitely, but sometimes long-term too.

Immediately you've got;

- Withdrawals and other effects of the massive hormonal swing
- Tiredness from a lack of sleep
- Stressing about whether the baby is being fed/sleeping/pooping enough
- Stressing about other minor things that aren't getting done like cleaning, socialising, work
- Normal recovering from birth; postpartum bleeding, etc
- Recovering from surgery, medication or injuries following the birth
- Potentially recovering from emotional trauma during birth
- Potentially feeling down about appearance - feeling "fat" after birth, worrying about what your partner saw during it, etc etc.

Long-term, as a parent you've been handed a child who is 100% reliant on your care and attention to get through at least the next 24 months, but in reality 18-21 years. It can easily turn an easy going and laid back person into someone who's highly driven and decisive. Or vice-versa.

It is very very normal for both parents to feel like they're in something of a bubble for the first 3-6 months following birth as everything is all over the place. If anyone is in any way concerned about how they feel during this period, then go to your GP for a chat.

LegacyUser

OP, did you also post in the parenting forum? I don't know how old you are, but you sound like you've had a baby quite young and maybe the father isn't around? I think you should probably have a chat with your GP. Parenting is damn hard, and the first few months of a newborn is utterly stressful really, especially if you don't have some sort of support or way to have a break for a bit. Please talk to someone if it's getting too much for you - I'm married with my second child just arrived, and on both, I was climbing the walls some days, dying for my husband to come home. Your hormones are all over the place and your life has been turned on it's head, it's a huge change - don't under-estimate it. So don't be afraid to have a chat if it's getting overwhelming.

MistyCheese

laurey wrote: »

Is it normal for a girls moods to change a lot after having a baby? and how long do these moods last? Thanks

It's normal. Equally, it's normal for it to not happen. Ultimately it doesn't really matter how everyone else is or isn't coping. What's important is that you get help if you feel you need it.

You have a few options; your health visitor, public health nurse or gp should be able to put you in touch with a counsellor. But a lot of new mothers don't want to admit they're struggling. Especially to their local healthcare team.

Another option might be the maternity hospital where you had your baby. If they're less local you might feel less exposed talking to someone there.

The important thing is to keep trying until you get the help that works for you. I found I had to keep asking a few times before I got it. It's not nice to be turned away especially when you're already feeling low but it's worth pursuing.

My story, in case it helps, I went to the maternity hospital first. I was given an appointment to speak with a nurse. The end result of that was she decided I was fine and didn't need to be referred further. That was it.

A few weeks down the line I decided I wasn't fine and asked my public health nurse for help and was put in touch with a counsellor. The counsellor admitted they weren't a trained counsellor and after an hour and a half session he declared he couldn't help me.

Right, still at square one, off I went again to find some help. I looked up counsellors myself and made an appointment with a family therapist. Going private and paying a professional meant I finally had someone who would listen. And that made all the difference. My 'baby' was 8 months old by this stage!

So OP, or anyone else who is struggling and feeling like you're getting nowhere, do keep asking for help until you get the right person.