House sharing

Melisandre121

Every house share I've had I've run into conflict, arguments, difficulties.. Is this me? Or is this just what happens with most house shares and living closely with others? Thoughts?

HiJacques

Best bet is share a house with male friends you don't socialise with.

No guests allowed. Pay your bills, keep the place tidy, wreck someone else’s' gaf for a party.

corner of hells

Melisandre121 wrote: »

Every house share I've had I've run into conflict, arguments, difficulties.. Is this me? Or is this just what happens with most house shares and living closely with others? Thoughts?

Difficult one OP , but you've come to The right place .
Have you considered taking the front door when you leave for work ? That's a good marker to show you're serious .

ASoberThought

Nothing major outside of what is expected when dealing with multiple personalities.

fryup

if you can...share a house with friends, people that you know...cause moving into house with strangers is a lottery...it could turn out dandy, but it could be a nightmare

and i've had my share of nightmares

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Less drama living with lads even though you'll probably have to
Compromise on your risk of contracting mrsa or another deadly disease since a lot of guys (I've lived with at least) don't seem that bothered with cleaning.

I lived with 5 boys and although one of them was a bit(a lot) of a thief, they were sound. They all would look out for me because I was the only girl, they'd help you with tan or zipping up dresses, they had lots of parties, they'd buy me wine if I cooked dinner on Sunday's, we had a good set up going.
One of them even sat in with me to watch the minions movie when a boy had made me sad.

Compared to living with girls, I lived with girls for 4 years and it was a neg experience on the whole. Passive aggressive, backstabbing, dirty, loud, fake, everything was a competition. If I was going to house share again, I'd live with boys

Winterlong

Its a tricky one. I was generally lucky enough to only share with people I knew and liked. A bit of that and some respect for each other tends to reduce the potential for conflict.
The one thing that got me about house shares in my late teens and up to my mid twenties is how some people leave home but are completly unequipped to live away from their mummy and daddy.
Cant wash up.
Cant cook.
No idea how to do the basic things in life like use a washing machine.

HiJacques

You kinda have to have the nightmares to appreciate the great housemates.

Everyone gets on your nerves after a while but you don't know how reasonable they were until you meet someone a lot worse.

Dr Crayfish

I had years of it. A lot of people are so inconsiderate. A lot of people can't see dirt or mess. I think I've come close to insanity at times from flat mates behaviour. I moved into my own house recently though and now I do whatever I want, it's great.

PandaPoo

I lived with my boyfriend (now husband) and his male friend and a girl they found on the internet. It was the best, we all got on, drank wine and watched movies at the weekend, had people over for cards and drinks. We're all still friends now and still have those nights in our house

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Melisandre121 wrote: »

Every house share I've had I've run into conflict, arguments, difficulties.. Is this me? Or is this just what happens with most house shares and living closely with others? Thoughts?

If the reasons for the conflicts are the same every time, then they common theme because be something you need to think about. Or if it's the same problem you have with housemates every time.

Conflicts are always going to happen, though.

Sh1tbag OToole

Melisandre121 wrote: »

Every house share I've had I've run into conflict, arguments, difficulties.. Is this me? Or is this just what happens with most house shares and living closely with others? Thoughts?

Well feck it you do draw trouble on yourself bringing fellas back from the dead and hanging around with lads who want to take over the world. You could have opted for the quiet life in Asshai if you wanted to.

SEPT 23 1989

Shared a house with an alcoholic who beat his girlfriend in drunken rages not a pleasant experience

PandaPoo

PandaPoo wrote: »

I lived with my boyfriend (now husband) and his male friend and a girl they found on the internet. It was the best, we all got on, drank wine and watched movies at the weekend, had people over for cards and drinks. We're all still friends now and still have those nights in our house

Funny how different people have very different outlooks. I know a lot of people would like the look of the above but I wouldn't at all. My current houseshare is as close to as ideal as its possible (for housesharing). I could go a week without seeing one of my housemates, when they are around they are in their rooms, I have the living room to myself 99% of the time and the kitchen about 90% of the time and we don't socialise together etc.

Now this is taking into account I've always lived with strangers and never with friends which may be a bit different but I still wouldn't be too gone on the above idea.

I remember sitting around the living room in previous houseshares with everyone wanting to watching something different and no one watching to admit it "oh here is the remote watch what you want" translation "I want to watch something but I'll pretend I don't". Spend most of my time in the bedroom unless I had the room to myself in that place.

I hate housesharing though from day one doing and can't wait to get away from it.

I have shared with strangers briefly in my life. The best experience was the final year of my degree. We got on great guns. I've a lot of fond memories of those girls.

The worst experience for me was with a good friend. Very different people to begin with but jaysus it was tough going at times.

My ideal is just me on my own. I need a lot of time to just escape in to my own world. Sometimes I get this ache in the bottom of my belly to be far away from all people.

Strange girl

jamesbere

I've lived with one or two weirdos but mostly my house share experience has been good. I think you have to be adaptable to the different personalities you come across. I generally keep most my conversations fairly basic. I don't give much away on my political and religious views as that can cause stupid arguments.

Once someone is tidy and clean up after themselves, I'll be happy with them

Maireadio

HiJacques wrote: »

wreck someone else’s' gaf for a party.

Whilst I don't agree with a 'no guests' rule, +1 to this. In my longest houseshare (nearly 5 years), we all agreed to this rule early on. It was a mostly-carpeted house and carpet and house parties don't mix. We just wanted to keep the house in good nick and, in my experience, even well-behaved house parties create quite a mess.

I only had one flatshare as an undergrad, an experience I wouldn't want to repeat. He was a Spanish chap called Jose, and he would sit in his cutoff sweats with his plums dangling down one leg in full view, scratching himself. Not once did he pick up or wipe anything in the sixish weeks we shared. He kept asking me to do his laundry when I'd be off to the launderette, and would take great offence at the suggestion he wash his own socks. I'm fairly sure he molested my belongings too.

The final straw came when I heard him refer to me as his girlfriend to someone on the phone. No way, Jose.

I've lived alone since which I really enjoy, though I usually have guests at least two weekends a month and have friends in the same building, so it doesn't feel isolated.

Some people just shouldn't house-share.

If I had someone tell me that I wasn't entitled to have guests in a house where I am paying rent, I'd wonder what planet they were living on. It's your home, not boarding school.

I've lived with about 40 people since I first left home, and have had very few run-ins (but had quite a lot of crushes). Generally, if you're reasonably tidy and laid-back, enjoy basic proficiency in conversation, and be able to see the funny side of most things, you will have no problems.

If you're a miserable wretch you will never be happy with anyone. I think the reason I've never lived with a miserable wretch is because they are so easy to spot when they come to apartment-viewings.

Stigura

Candie wrote: »

He was a Spanish chap called Jose, and he would sit in his cutoff sweats with his plums dangling down one leg in full view, scratching himself.

'Lovely' ..... Now, not to get pilloried for tarring an entire nation with the same brush. But, my one and only experience of a Spanish bloke was on the locked ward. I mean, okay, neither of us was working there, so it's probably safe to say we weren't the best pair of examples at that time.

But, yeah; He liked laying around on his bed, the whole lot out. Could this be a 'Spanish Thing'

Stigura

Stigura wrote: »

'Lovely' ..... Now, not to get pilloried for tarring an entire nation with the same brush. But, my one and only experience of a Spanish bloke was on the locked ward. I mean, okay, neither of us was working there, so it's probably safe to say we weren't the best pair of examples at that time.

But, yeah; He liked laying around on his bed, the whole lot out. Could this be a 'Spanish Thing'

I think we're probably just unlucky.

RayM

I love living alone. It's so much more expensive, but worth every penny. I don't have to clean up after anyone else or deal with their unpleasant bathroom and kitchen habits, and I don't have to ask anyone to take their clothes out of the washing machine... two days after they've been washed. Best of all, there's nobody around to judge me for spending a sunny Saturday afternoon indoors watching Netflix and eating chocolate doughnuts.

beach_walker

Melisandre121 wrote: »

Every house share I've had I've run into conflict, arguments, difficulties.. Is this me? Or is this just what happens with most house shares and living closely with others? Thoughts?

I've been house-sharing for over ten years now ( :eek: ). If I could go back, I'd tell myself to stay away from living with:

- couples
- live-in-landlords
- places with more than one girl (asking for trouble)

Other than that it's been grand but I'm really tired of it now. I can't imagine having to continue like this into my mid thirties, I have some friends who freely admit that given their crap finances and unlikeness to marry that they'll be doing it for years to come. No thanks. I have a decent deposit save going on and should be buying around about this time next year.

Corvo

I'd find it very hard not to strangle one of them.

Duggy747

Spent many years living alone, absolutely loved it.

Then things changed where I wound up having to share houses, the last place I lived in was either a lunatic asylum or some kind of bizarre social experiment freakshow being broadcasted somewhere. I think when one of the housemates tried to get into my room with the kitchen knife was probably a turning point for me...

Now I live with the missus, the only other human I can live with, and a bunch of animals I actually do like because they behave better than the mental patients I previously lived with :P

I'd rather eat mouldy vomit than go back to house sharing.

pgj2015

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Some people just shouldn't house-share.

If I had someone tell me that I wasn't entitled to have guests in a house where I am paying rent, I'd wonder what planet they were living on. It's your home, not boarding school.

I've lived with about 40 people since I first left home, and have had very few run-ins (but had quite a lot of crushes). Generally, if you're reasonably tidy and laid-back, enjoy basic proficiency in conversation, and be able to see the funny side of most things, you will have no problems.

If you're a miserable wretch you will never be happy with anyone. I think the reason I've never lived with a miserable wretch is because they are so easy to spot when they come to apartment-viewings.

how do you spot them?

Your Face

Its you.

pgj2015

pgj2015 wrote: »

how do you spot them?

Lack of good humour, expressions as sour as piss & vinegar.

Anybody, male or female, who shows up ina combination of work suits with trainers is almost inevitably a miserable gob****e. Don't ask me why, but it's always been a fairly reliable rule of thumb.

Previously, one of my housemates had a golden retriever, and all the non-dog-people excluded themselves. That, also, was probably a useful filter.

I know these are very unscientific methods, but like I said, I've never had a terrible housemate experience, so we'll stick with it.

JTL

beach_walker wrote: »

I've been house-sharing for over ten years now ( :eek: ). If I could go back, I'd tell myself to stay away from living with:

- couples
- live-in-landlords
- places with more than one girl (asking for trouble)

Other than that it's been grand but I'm really tired of it now. I can't imagine having to continue like this into my mid thirties, I have some friends who freely admit that given their crap finances and unlikeness to marry that they'll be doing it for years to come. No thanks. I have a decent deposit save going on and should be buying around about this time next year.

You've just described my current feelings!

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

I've had a couple of nutters over the years but some lovely people too, one or two I'm still good friends with, others I'd run into and we'd have a pint and a chat.

Still genuinely hate a couple of them too though, despite not having seen them in years.

Mikkl

I shared a house with 3 others years ago. I found 1 man and three women was the magic formula! I lived through every permutation possible for four flatmates, except of course, four men! Four women, and it all became a bit upper sixth at Mallory Towers. 2 men and 2 women, I thought that'd be perfect, like, omg, Friends, but the men seemed to take up a lot of space, they stopped bothering to do their share of the house work because each had the other to back him up wrt laziness. Also as soon as we had two men in the house it was just assumed that we would watch sport.... So that didn't work. I was happy for years though! I had an horrendous fight with a male flatmate though. He went away for four days and left a pile of washing up in the sink. I couldn't look at it for four days and I washed it up, including two burnt saucepans, so I let him have it when he got home.

HiJacques

Mr.S wrote: »

That sounds boring :eek:

It would be a good nights sleep if it ever worked out that way.

Daisy78

Flat sharing is for most people (unless you are in a couple) a necessary evil. I'm in my late thirties and would happily live on my own if given the choice but the reality is sharing has allowed me to enjoy a "lifestyle" (geez I hate that word but anyway) that I could never afford if I had to cough up a full months rent on my own. I have had mixed experiences, from living with people who I now call good friends to the sociopathic loo las who should do society a favour and never share with another person again. A poster mentioned that you get a feel for what people are like when they show up to interview but its amazing how much of an act some people can put on, very easy to feign friendliness and compatibility, its only when you are actually living this together that you realise what they are really like.There is nothing like living with other people to teach you about human nature. I'm hoping to buy in the next year so hopefully this will be my last flatshare (which is actually fine, with lovely flatmates:)), much and all as I've learnt from the whole experience I won't miss it!

cantdecide

Keep the numbers to a minimum is key and if you're prepared to go f*ck yourself for the sake of peace and so are your housemates then ye'll be best buddies. The most dangerous thing in houseshares is a no-compromise attitude from different parties or on certain issues.

I lived alone once for about 5 months and absolutely hated it. I've always been very lucky in houseshares.

caille

I have had my share of odd house mates but have to say, they were pretty ok experiences. I shared with a couple in their own house, for three years, and it shouldn't have worked out but it did because I lived in a converted attic with my own bathroom, it was very comfortable and and I had very reasonable rent on top. They were dead sound and were new to the renting game and I liked them straight away, and they me. It only ended because they decided to sell their house in the boom and I got a job miles from it, so timing wise, it all worked out. I have had one or two very odd house mates (regarding food and showering) but nothing that was bad and more comical than anything else. I was lucky to meet my husband when I did as we ended up living together and he was the best house mate, period! He could cook, clean, was immaculately tidy and clean himself, he was a keeper after that!!

If I was still renting, I would be doing it on my own or trying to buy, I am too old now to be sharing with strangers and I don't know people do it, when they get to their 30s, fair play to ye, the bulk of mine was done in my 20s and I moved in with my husband (boyfriend then) after that.

Melisandre121

I lived with a couple (Great at first, but soon turned awful)
A good friend (no longer speak to them because living together caused our friendship to crumble)
A pathological liar (no longer see her, thank god)

Can't seem to win!