I'm a mess, I don't know what to do...

Lucky Leprechaun

I'm a mess, I have destroyed every single chance I've ever gotten. I messed up my leaving cert last year and repeated this year. I "wanted" to do medicine. So my parents paid money for me to do grinds for the hpat and I didn't even properly study for it. I haven't studied at all this year and my leaving cert is in 4 f***ing days time and I haven't even looked at anything.

I don't want medicine anymore because I know I wont be able to handle exam pressure (and frankly I don't have the true passion for it) but haha I wont even get enough points this year like what a mess I am. What a screw up! What a failure. I'm literally the biggest joke in the world.

I just don't know what I'm going to do right now because it looks like my life is going no where, and I know of all the ridiculous cliches like "things get better" but I keep f***ing up anything that gets me anywhere. I'm always going to be a f*** up and I just don't know what I'm going to do from here because that light at the end of the tunnel is just another dark tunnel.

I don't know what to do...

Mick_1970

Listen, we're all a mess and we still don't know what to do. I remember being there, doing repeats and all the rest, but you know things work out. Things may seem very bleak, but trust me things will get better.

endacl

Leaving cert in 6th year = quite important.

Leaving cert after the leaving cert = not important. At all. Not even a little bit.

LeinsterDub

Your 17 to 20. I'd not be too worried if you really fancy medicine work for a few years and come back as a mature student at 23. If not work for a couple of years and find yourself. The leaving cert is a joke a glorified memory test that no one will ask you about in 3 years time.

EnergyBlaster

The leaving cert is not as important as it once was. There is a lot of cross over these days from one career path to another. Go in do your best and learn from the experience

Lucky Leprechaun

Mick_1970 wrote: »

Listen, we're all a mess and we still don't know what to do. I remember being there, doing repeats and all the rest, but you know things work out. Things may seem very bleak, but trust me things will get better.

I just feel, I will never have the motivation to do anything.

endacl wrote: »

Leaving cert in 6th year = quite important.

Leaving cert after the leaving cert = not important. At all. Not even a little bit.

Just with repeating and not even improving from last year it's sort of important because I've never felt as down as I do right now.

LeinsterDub wrote: »

Your 17 to 20. I'd not be to worried if you really fancy medicine work for a few years and come back as a mature student at 23 if not. Work for a couple of years and find yourself. The leaving cert is a joke a glorified memory test that no one will ask you about in 3 years time.

I wish I had that drive that burning desire but I don't, I don't see that life for me.

EnergyBlaster wrote: »

The leaving cert is not as important as it once was. There is a lot of cross over these days from one career path to another. Go in do your best and learn from the experience

I thought I'd learn from the experience of the LC last year and heck look at me now... back at it again wasted a year, and everybody's time and money.

jigglypuffstuff

Calm yourself

Graduate Medicine is always available

Do your best and the rest will take care of itself

lukesmom

Lucky Leprechaun wrote:

I don't want medicine anymore because I know I wont be able to handle exam pressure (and frankly I don't have the true passion for it) but haha I wont even get enough points this year like what a mess I am. What a screw up! What a failure. I'm literally the biggest joke in the world.

Firstly you are NOT a screw up. So you've changed your mind on doing medicine big deal! And even if your marks aren't fantastic your parents will forgive you just go in and try your best because that's all that anybody can do You are so young yet with many years of life experience ahead of you. I'm 36 and I still don't know what I want to do please don't be so damn hard on yourself. You will look back in a few years time and realise this wasn't such a bad situation after all. Try get a good sleep because tomorrow is another day.

TSMGUY

My mum's 45 and she went back to school to do nursing this year. She already has a degree in law but she couldn't find work in that profession. You're MAX 19 years old. You''ll be fine! Einstein was a bank clerk until he was 26. Samuel L Jackson was a crackhead until his mid forties. James Joyce failed his medicine course. The point I'm making is setbacks happen to the best of us!

I was feeling the same way a few days ago but Spurious, randylonghorn and a few other guys set me straight. I actually got SO much more work done today not being stressed out or feeling guilty.

Realistically, all you can do now is maximize your points as much as you can. Study for your first 3/4 subjects up until they're over and then focus on the rest. Make checklists and do as much of them as possible. Go through marking schemes. And most importantly, stop feeling guilty. It was irresponsible not to work throughout the year but you're human and you made a mistake. In some ways it's for the best because you're not wasting 6 years of your life doing a medicine degree for a career you don't want.

GOOD LUCK!

salsagal

Might I suggest that it sounds like you are depressed? All or nothing thinking, no hope for the future, incredibly hard on yourself. All symptoms of depression. This could be caused by lots of things. If you think you may be suffering from depression, then the LC is the least of your concerns, and I mean that in the best of ways.
If you have health issues, then getting help for this will enable the rest to feel way more manageable in the long run.

LionelNashe

Lucky Leprechaun wrote: »

I'm a mess, I have destroyed every single chance I've ever gotten. I messed up my leaving cert last year and repeated this year. I "wanted" to do medicine. So my parents paid money for me to do grinds for the hpat and I didn't even properly study for it. I haven't studied at all this year and my leaving cert is in 4 f***ing days time and I haven't even looked at anything.

I don't want medicine anymore because I know I wont be able to handle exam pressure (and frankly I don't have the true passion for it) but haha I wont even get enough points this year like what a mess I am. What a screw up! What a failure. I'm literally the biggest joke in the world.

I just don't know what I'm going to do right now because it looks like my life is going no where, and I know of all the ridiculous cliches like "things get better" but I keep f***ing up anything that gets me anywhere. I'm always going to be a f*** up and I just don't know what I'm going to do from here because that light at the end of the tunnel is just another dark tunnel.

I don't know what to do...

There's no point in beating yourself up about what you could have done differently last week or last month. The past is the past.

Based on what you're saying, you're not going to get the very high points you wanted, so accept it and put that thought aside for now. Don't think about how many points you're going to get or how many you need. This leads to fear of failure, which leads to procrastination and paralysis.

Instead, make maximum use of the time you have left. If you haven't done it already, take a half hour to draw up a study timetable for the 4 days, and for the days that you don't have exams, and for the hours before and after the exams as well.

If you want to post back here in a couple of weeks when the exams are over, I can recommend two books that I found useful for understanding the reasons why we put things off and why this pattern repeats itself.

annie_ie

Don't beat yourself up. Just go and do your best.

Look at courses that really interest you and excite you.

I am in my early 30's and have a group of about 7 really close friends. Only 2 of out the 7 have completed degrees etc and only those two are the ones who work at what they studied.

The remaining 5 of us are all doing really well in our careers/entrepreneurs and really happy.
All this only began in the last 3 years.

Trust me when I say the leaving cert is not the be all and end all.

I failed maths in mine which meant technically I failed the LC.

I managed to do a diploma in MontessorI, moved into finance and worked til quite high up before leavING 3 years ago and returning to college as a mature student and now working at my dream career.

Just go and do your best and look to future!

pinkbear

Just a correction on Annie's quote:

"I failed maths in mine which meant technically I failed the LC."


There's no such a thing as failing the leaving cert anymore. It hasn't existed as a concept in 1995 (check the Wikipedia page on Leaving Cert, or root it out on the Department of education website, if you want clarification). You get what you get, but the old thing of having to get 5 passes and passing maths and English, not longer exist. So Annie, you actually passed the LC.

Lucky Leprechaun

Thank you all so much.

rainbowtrout

Do not worry. The LC is not the end of the world. I'm sure you already discovered this last September when you started your repeat year and the world hadn't fallen apart because you didn't start college at the same time as the rest of your original LC class. This year in a sense is no different.

You've come to the conclusion that you don't want to do medicine. Probably better to find that out now rather than a year or two into the course, and looking at the expensive route of paying fees for a year or two by switching degree. It might be something you want to come back to in the future, and if you do, great, you can look at it again. Right now, if you don't want it you have time to change your mind.

There are two weeks left of exams and by this time tomorrow you'll have the back broken on it with English and Maths out of the way and half of Irish will be complete. When you have finished your exams, you can give some proper thought to what you like doing and see if there is a course on the CAO list that matches your interests.

Remember the CAO change of mind facility remains open until July 1st. You have time to change your mind if there is something else you would really like to do.

Also remember you don't have to go to college straight away. If you do accept a course in August that is on your current CAO list or one you might put on it before July 1, you can defer it for the year and have a good think about it. You could try and get some work experience for the year and see if a particular field of work grabs your attention. You could do a PLC course for the year in an area you are interested in and at the end of the year you will have a better understanding of that area, some work experience and a qualification.

There are so many options available to you. Give the exams your best shot over the next fortnight, then give your CAO choices some thought, and then relax for the rest of the summer as there is nothing you can do until the results come out.