Creche issue

Lotte

Hi everyone! Looking for advice here, I'll be thankful for all opinions. My daughter came home yesterday (from pre-school) with a black eye. Few weeks ago she was hit in the mouth area as well. As it turns out, there is an autistic boy in their group, who is doing this to her. He has his own minder but I don't think she is doing too good of a job. I keep getting all the excuses in the world to justify these happenings - he's different, your daughter probably has very sensitive skin, bla bla bla. I'm paying them money for my child to prepare for big school while being in a safe environment and it is not happening. I've nothing against the kid who's doing this as all of them are just kids, but I'm very angry with creche workers. And it is not just my daughter who has to suffer, from what I hear - other kiddies there are coming across the same issues.. Don't know what to do - other creche is not really an option here.

lazygal

Did you have to sign an incident report for each time this happened?

While I have sympathy for how difficult it can be to manage the behaviour of children with special needs, for me my child comes first and I'd be adopting a zero tolerance approach with the creche. It is not acceptable for other children to be at risk in the service. The staff and the child's SNA need to manage the behaviour much better. Ask them what policies and procedures will be in place to ensure this never happens again.

As for remarks about the sensitivity of your child's skin, that's neither here nor there. If she hadn't been hit there would not be an issue. Quite an unprofessional thing to say IMO.

mordeith

Lotte wrote: »

Hi everyone! Looking for advice here, I'll be thankful for all opinions. My daughter came home yesterday (from pre-school) with a black eye. Few weeks ago she was hit in the mouth area as well. As it turns out, there is an autistic boy in their group, who is doing this to her. He has his own minder but I don't think she is doing too good of a job. I keep getting all the excuses in the world to justify these happenings - he's different, your daughter probably has very sensitive skin, bla bla bla. I'm paying them money for my child to prepare for big school while being in a safe environment and it is not happening. I've nothing against the kid who's doing this as all of them are just kids, but I'm very angry with creche workers. And it is not just my daughter who has to suffer, from what I hear - other kiddies there are coming across the same issues.. Don't know what to do - other creche is not really an option here.

The black eye is a but much in fairness. Were you asked to sign an incident report? I've had to do that a few times at our playschool where our son was bit or hit (and also when he was the aggressor). This has all calmed down now but at the time it was reassuring to know the staff were taking things seriously enough to bring it to the attention of both parents and have it officially documented.

Neyite

I'd also chip in about the incident report - for every bump and scrape and bite /wallop my child got, it was explained in detail how it happened, how they treated it, and if I was happy with that, I signed the form.

Saying that your child has sensitive skin is a cop out. She was hit in the eye area, which is pretty serious for them to be dismissing. If this was combined with not filling out an incident report, then I would have serious concerns about the crèche and be considering alternative childcare

I'd ask to schedule an appointment with the crèche manager. Before that, could you bring your child to the GP and get her injury logged and checked there, just to rule out any vision concerns. Then, what you want is the manager to outline for you what steps they have taken since this incident to ensure that the risk of it happening again is minimised.

Lotte

So, collected the child from the creche a while ago and to make long story short, no incident form was offered because they didn't know about it!!! When she came home yesterday there was what looked like a small cut which I didn't worry too much about, but this morning they eye was swollen up, she couldn't even open it. Basically the child who did it, has a special minder who is not under their direct management. By what my little girl is saying, I gather, when the child hit her in the eye, the minder came over and told the boy off and removed him from the play area. My daughter insists that minder saw what happened and she also told minder what happened. She never informed the management. It's appalling. Boy in question together with his minder attends creche on Mon, Tue and Wed, so management is promising all the details and explanation on Monday evening. But I feel like they are trying to hush all of this since it's not the first time it has happened - she came home with a swollen lip as well some time ago, it had been bleeding a bit also. Same boy again.. Only relief is that they're closing up in few weeks time for the summer and she's starting school in September. Still, as a mum, I don't want to let this go away that easily, it is their responsibility to ensure my daughter is safe while in their care. And there is no point in them blaming the boy, blaming the minder - they are managers and they should take full responsibility.

lazygal

By minder, I presume this is the boy's SNA? While he or she is not employed by the service, they still have to ensure the safety of all the children and abide by the rules. There is a boy who has an SNA in my child's class but as far as I'm concerned I don't and won't differentiate between staff in terms of lapses of responsibility if my child is being hurt. I don't know what the ratios are but does this mean the children weren't being supervised when the incident happened?

Lotte

I know - it is so unclear what actually happened. Waiting for Monday now.

Neyite

Probably best to wait and give the crèche manager time to establish what happened. It's very possible that the SNA is concealing these incidents as it does reflect badly on him /her.

There is rough and tumble where groups of children are concerned, my own lad was chomped on several times by a little one as a wobbler. If there is an SNA who is supposed to be helping this little boy progress and learn, then he/ she's failing too if they are not spotting when he's becoming distressed enough lash out. And the fact that the minder had to come over to the boy after it happened I'd be wondering where they had to come over from. Their sole job, presumably, is to be an assistant to the child. Not much use if they are the other side of the room from him and has no idea what's going on.

Gatling

I'd be conserned about the lack of staff during the incidents especially if this Sna/minder isn't a an employee of the crèche.

I know from experience that incidents can happen and go unoticed my own child was left with a serious eye injury that went unoticed by staff after another child pushed a paint brush into her eye .

But when you have several incidents involving the same child multiple times I'd be getting concerned

Moonbeam

Dog Man Star wrote: »

Black eye in the creche

Don't think my missus would ever give them a black eye, no matter how much they drive her mad.....that's the beauty of the stay-at-home mum. No "incident register" required :-)

Consider this a mod warning.
It is none of your business whether other mothers stay at home or work.
You do not know their family circumstances.
Please stay on topic and do not act in a derogatory fashion towards other posters.

Pkiernan

You need to remove your child from the creche. They are not looking after her safety.
You saI'd that changing creche is not an option, but you need to prioritise your child.

Nekarsulm

Our child had similar run in's with a boy in local creche. He didn't have a special minder, but the type who wants whatever you other children had, and would pull it from them. Also would not co-operate with staff. Sometimes when droppi g child in, all other children playing in group activity and the boy sitting under a table on his own. It was easier to leave him be than try to include him.
Anyway our child started to get hit, pushed over, marks on face etc, and I complained.
Got a line about how he was a "sensitive" child, and his mother "was doing a childcare course, back in college, isn't she great", type of chat. She was a good buddy of the staff leader, was the reality of the situation.
I complained the next time something happened, and got a written explanation. However the next day our child came home in tears.
The boy had told her that his father had promised to shoot me.
These were 4 year olds!
I complained again about this, but staff assured me that he was a good child and wouldn't say such a thing. They also insisted that the boy was totally honest and wouldn't lie.
So he was called over and asked "Did you tell xxx that your dad was going to shoot xxx's dad?"
Yes, he replied. "He is going to do it because xxx complained about me"

He was kept at home for the rest of the week, and luckily the year was just about over.
We sent our child to a different National school to the onehe was starting.

So, OP, put your foot down. This cannot be allowed continue. You do not need a child taking a dislike to school before she even starts...

Moonbeam

Incidents happen at home at creche,they can happen anywhere.

Can we please keep this thread on topic.

Moonbeam

Dog Man Star wrote: »

Oh that makes sense.

So my advice is this: take your child out of the creche and look after them yourself.

Your threat is: it's none of my business if they get a black eye, do not question their choice of raising their child.

Guess what, I am questioning whether it's normal for a kid to get a black eye, and hey, guess what, it's not.

It's not normal, it's not right. Take your child out of the creche immediately.

*I'm now banned*

User is bannned

Orion

Moonbeam wrote: »

User is bannned

I've deleted the re-reg troll's posts too. Starve of oxygen and all that.

CaraMay

The main issue here is that it wasn't reported. My son has an sna in Creche and he's come home hurt by the kids who don't have an sna!!! He's very gentle.

The sna should have reported it. This is where it's falling down. Other than that you can't control kids every second