How to handle unexpected situation

LegacyUser

So very recently find out through a friend that has a work colleague of my BFs; he used to be with a girl for a number of years and they had a baby he then found out it wasn't his at all!!
I had never heard a sniff of this story! Initially I thought there must be a mix up in people tang this colleague of my friend was talking about! So anyway I said it to him what I had heard again still thinking this must not be true surely I would have heard. One look at his face said it all!! Complete lock down and unable to talk about it. I ended up apologising then and not wanting to upset him!! But part of me selfishly (acknowledged) wonders was he there throughout that pregnancy and birth and it explains maybe a reluctance for marriage and any "hassle" at all he couldn't cope. Clearly understandable! I can't imagine just how traumatic that must have been at that time. But it is very obviously a huge scar he cannot talk about just locked away which kind of worries me. I didn't push the issue then seeing his very sad and shocked reaction.
We are together well over a year but live apart and see each other at weekends. Great guy all round!!
How do I handle this situation? And not continue to be wondering about it! Like we would have had chats about kids babies etc and I never would have guessed a thing I thought he was as green as i am about the massive lifestyle changes required etc. this is not all about me and I don't want to seem selfish but part of me feels like I got a kick in the stomach too!!

Sound Bite

From your post, it seems you know this isn't about you.

It must be an absolute horrible situation for any man to find themselves in where they are let bond with a child where the mother has lied, betrayed, manipulated them etc. The feels of loving a child and then discovering it's no yours and that your relationship is built of a stack of lies must be gut wrenching. It's one of the nastiest thing a woman can do to a man.

Give him time and space. It knows you know and will discuss it with you when he's ready and able. Don't push him for your own benefit. ..he's been through enough already.

SB_Part2

I don't think you should push this anymore. it's obviously a traumatic experience for him and he doesn't want to talk about it.

If he wants you to know he'll talk. Otherwise, drop it.