Everything is "I don't know"

LegacyUser

I am in a situation where I can't seem to be happy and everything feels like "I don't know". I think it is due to the fact that I do not really care about anything. I am emotionless.
It really annoys me because I want to have that feeling people have when something exciting happens in their life but I don't I get a feeling of "okay". I have just finished my college degree and I have noticed mixed emotions from everyone in the class from happy to sad and I just felt like nothing. I didn't feel excited, sad or happy. It is the same situation for other things, another being to travel. I would like to take a few years out and travel but when I think of it I get a feeling of "I can't be bothered" (I sound contradicting on myself). People keep try to encourage me to do things but I get a feeling of "no" I don't want to bother. I feel that this is affecting my whole life and am a little worried. I have absolutely no hobbies or interests (I've tried but only get so far) because when I think of things I think "Okay cool" and that's about it. I can imagine it isn't normal to feel this emotionless about everything.
I feel that it is affecting my whole life and it annoys me that the only time I feel any real emotion is when I'm worried. I worry because I see everyone getting by with their life and I'm just stuck. Everyone has their priorities and their happy and I just want to be able to enjoy something for once. It is affecting me socially also and I feel I am going to lose everyone around me. I feel that people don't want to hang around and talk to me because I'm just a boring person. I have come to this conclusion as I have lost a lot of close friends and now have one but the only time we see each other is if we have nothing else to do and we just sit around doing nothing, basically using each other for company. I believe I am going to lose my girlfriend due to this too. Every time we're together I feel that there is no conversation between us and she'll eventually not want to be with me because nothing is ever going anywhere. I believe she would be better off with someone else as I've seen her happier with others (Compared to me where she would be making an effort and I would sit there emotionless as usual). This is the same feeling for when I'm with everyone. I never have anything to contribute or say because I don't care about anything. People would have better conversations with brick walls. I have tried to make efforts multiple times but everything I cringe at the fact that I am talking about something I have no concern for so then it just gets awkward. I am constantly thinking to myself why can't I have feelings like most people just so my life will be become somewhat more interesting. I hate the fact that when people offer advise I shrug it off as it that advise does not relate back to what I fell (Even though I do not know how it is I am feeling) I feel my life is going nowhere because I have no interests and cannot find anything I like because I either do not care or I never know where to start and if I do start I'll only get so far.

leggo

I know a guy who would've said things like you the rare time I'd push him and get him to let the wall down. For him, he went travelling on his own for a while, found himself, came home, got a job, girlfriend, started a band and is pretty much a new person now. It's fantastic to see. He was stuck in a rut here originally, beating himself into the ground and rotting away in a place that didn't stimulate him and push him to action. It took him pushing himself outside of his comfort zone to actually find what made him tick. You're half-thinking about travelling. It's not a bad idea, even if you couldn't really be arsed.

Are you on any medication? I know a lot of antidepressants can have similar effects to what you're describing, for example. I'm not going to comment on what you should do or anything medical, but if that is the case then at least you may have a root cause.

I also wouldn't beat yourself up about this too much. Your username is 'LostInMyMind' and I think that sounds like pretty much the case here. You're worrying about this and all it's creating is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Truth is, you're at the stage where you're finished your degree and likely having to stand on your own feet without the safety net of school or college or a daily routine for the first time in your life. You're supposed to feel lost and bogged down. It's a scary time. In many ways, your life is just getting started and there's no clear sign pointing you in the right direction. I know that isn't helping you practically, but it might give you some comfort to know that everyone else is just as lost at this stage of their lives, even if people around you know how to hide it better. What you're going through is completely normal.

Truth is you just throw a lot of stuff at the wall and see what sticks until you wake up one day and you have a happy life. It's a process and a journey and you just kinda have to trust that and go with it until it works. The worst thing you can do is get caught up in your own thoughts and insecurities and shut yourself away from everyone, it'll only make things worse.

LegacyUser

leggo wrote: »

I know a guy who would've said things like you the rare time I'd push him and get him to let the wall down. For him, he went travelling on his own for a while, found himself, came home, got a job, girlfriend, started a band and is pretty much a new person now. It's fantastic to see. He was stuck in a rut here originally, beating himself into the ground and rotting away in a place that didn't stimulate him and push him to action. It took him pushing himself outside of his comfort zone to actually find what made him tick. You're half-thinking about travelling. It's not a bad idea, even if you couldn't really be arsed.

Are you on any medication? I know a lot of antidepressants can have similar effects to what you're describing, for example. I'm not going to comment on what you should do or anything medical, but if that is the case then at least you may have a root cause.

I also wouldn't beat yourself up about this too much. Your username is 'LostInMyMind' and I think that sounds like pretty much the case here. You're worrying about this and all it's creating is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Truth is, you're at the stage where you're finished your degree and likely having to stand on your own feet without the safety net of school or college or a daily routine for the first time in your life. You're supposed to feel lost and bogged down. It's a scary time. In many ways, your life is just getting started and there's no clear sign pointing you in the right direction. I know that isn't helping you practically, but it might give you some comfort to know that everyone else is just as lost at this stage of their lives, even if people around you know how to hide it better. What you're going through is completely normal.

Appreciate the reply it gives some clarity to how I'm feeling. I am not on any medidication it's not something I would consider personally.

It's good to know that the feeling is normal and it is a process but it is never a process I can adapt to. Every time something seems to much of an effort I tend to leave it as it is and let it be. It leaves me stuck at square one. I am now at the stage where I think everything is an effort and can't seem to care about it all. Even now I think I've achieved everything without deserving it because I relied on too many people and they basically got me to where I am. I do not know how to think for myself. Also in regards to interests I have none and this is preventing me from socialising. I cannot think of anything to talk about and even when I do I have no idea what it is I'm saying and making it up on the spot. It seems pointless. I went out the other night and as soon as I walked in I wanted to go home I felt out of place and awkward. I seen my friends and family all have fun and they all had stuff to talk about whereas I put on a smile and laughed but really felt out of place and anxious.

mg1982

I can relate a lot to what you said in your post as i have felt the same way myself for quite a while. Have few enough interests and have little to say. Beginning to think thats just the way i am.

leggo

If you feel unhappy within yourself, I don't think 'just accepting that's who you are' is the best course of action.

The problem could be easily solved by meeting like-minded people. You sound like an introvert from what you say, perhaps reading up on introversion and the nature of it will, first of all, make you feel better that it's 'normal', make you realise you're not alone and give you tips for activities and interests for where you could find people who could stimulate you better than perhaps your current crowd can. The amount of people I've known - and I've felt this way myself at times - who felt that they were the problem, when really they were just around people who were different to them. Like I said, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone may land you where you feel like you belong.

If you genuinely feel a sense of joylessness from life and like there's literally nothing that can stimulate you, that could also be a sign of depression and may be worth discussing with a GP at some stage.

Reactor

Im exactly like you OP, cant seem to summon up any enthusiasm about anything, I feel like I should be traveling and all that but I just cant bring myself to do it or even research it. Same for getting a car, I feel like maybe if I had a license and transport I might go places and do things but again I just find myself wondering what the point is.

The only advice I can give you is that you sound like you just finished your degree so you're probably young, mid-twenties? Id say try and sort it now baecause Im nearly 32 no and my twenties just evaporated, I dont even remember them and Im still stuck in a rut now.