lone parent family question... URGENT!

anjabear

Hi guys so basically i worked full time since i was 15. Im in my mid twenties and i unexpectedly got pregnant and had a little boy. A few months into pregnancy the father and i fight HUGE fights a lot. We broke up when my baby was a few months old and i went on a lone parent family payment as i have no family in this country to stay with.

It was all going fine and i even became friends with the father. He comes over regularly and see his son and he pays maintenance but also gives some extra money into my bank account for treats etc for his son when he can. Sometimes my mother and father will put a small amount of money in my bank account too because they feel bad they never see me. All in all i can pay my rent and bills and afford new things when i need them like clothes for the baby or new shoes when mine broke. I can't afford car or anything like that though (I also work maybe 4 or 5 hours once a week to escape the house).

Things are going well with the father and i had been seeing him more often. Trying to fix things. He stays with a family member currently. Anyway i was called in for an inspection which I thought is fine so i brought everything along and suddenly she starts saying there is no way I could afford my rent and bills without being in dept and that if my babys dad sees his son a lot and pays extra on top of maintenance it is coparenting and he should see his son less and pay less! I was also told i would be subject to more investigation and if he visits his son more than twice a week I'll be in trouble?!?!

This upset me really bad to tears as my son loves his dad. So after this meeting i met with the father to talk about this all. It ended with us both in tears. Me because i don't want to seperate dad and son and him because he misses his son. We have decided to try a kind of relationship again because the whole thing made us rethink the priorities. So from now he will stay in the other room with my son some nights and we are going to TRY and see how this goes.

I am obviously coming off my payment because of this new arrangement. But will they keep investigating me now? I realise it looks bad because i want to get back with the father but can they understand these things happen? I am cancelling the payment monday. Will they claim i was frauding them? I am so scared they will say i was always with him and make me pay back a year of payments

Also if this doesn't work out god forbid because i really hope it does!... can i one day go back on the payment ?

via4

Yes if it doesn't work out you can go back on a payment.really don't worry I know a woman who is constantly going on and off it the whole time as she tries to make it work and the social actually look down on her more when she comes off it. You were not defrauding in anyway. These things happen and they know not everything g is black and white. I think coming off it is great they wI'll be off your back now. Now you do t have to worry about inspections. Also if you do go back on it ask your parents to send a postal order instead because money going into your bank account counts as income and they take all that into account. Obviously there are people out there that do defraud the system but your just trying to survive. The lady was basically telling you to keep your son away from his father and that you should be in debt. Like obviously you are not going to make your life harder for yourself why would anything purposefully put themselves into that situation. It sounds like the dad is a kind guy I'm sure between the two of you you could come to an arrangement where you could do more hours and become financially independent. Best of luck to you and p,ease do not worry if you do need to claim again you can life happens things change at least you are trying. Hope it all works out for you.

JuliusCaesar

Contact Treoir and/or OneFamily immediately. They are the experts on this kind of thing.

LegacyUser

The woman was correct. Essentially you are not parenting alone as your child's father is giving you money as well as your own parents.
How have you been working here since 15 if you have no family in this country? Your 5 hours per week obviously doesn't pay rent so losing your lone parents payment will be a big adjustment.
You mentioned your ex lives with family but presumably now he'll be paying rent with you? It's a scary prospect I'm sure but you can definitely get your payment back if he no longer lives there or no longer supports you financially.
Is your partner irish? Maybe his family will be more involved now too and you'll have more support