Living with ex

LegacyUser

This is a strange one so hear me out on this...

Went out with someone for a couple of year (2 and a bit) before breaking up and going separate ways. Roll on about 5 years and I find myself in a situation where I'm in need of accommodation for a job, I end up taking one of the rooms In the house I lived in some 5 years earlier. Nothing wrong there I guess except that my ex still live in said house. Over the previous 1 or 2 years (before moving in) there was some contact and we became friends (no romantic feelings for each other, this has been discussed), I got to know their flatmates and in general I didn't have any problems with them or the location, it was more convenient than trying to find a good place.

Roll on to the present day and it's becoming apparent that I made a mistake when it comes to how living with an ex is viewed by potential partners, despite there being trust that there is absolutely no chance of ever having anything physical or emotional with the ex/flatmate (it's purely a platonic relationship).

Did I put myself in a bad situation? Is living with an possible - from a partners point of view?

intheclouds

Why do you tell potential partners that you live with an ex as opposed to saying you live with a friend?

Your past is your own business.

Personally I wouldnt be into it (from your perspective). From a potential partners perspective - the fact you are telling it makes it sound like its a "thing" so people probably dont want to get involved in a situation where there is baggage.

KikiDee

intheclouds wrote: »

the fact you are telling it makes it sound like its a "thing" so people probably dont want to get involved in a situation where there is baggage.

+1 to this.

You haven't been in a couple in so long so why not just say you live with a friend and if you feel a new relationship has the potential to go somewhere, then maybe explain the situation

seamus

If you tell people you live with an ex it becomes a presumption that every now and again you end up shagging when drunk and tension occurs when either of you brings someone else home.

As others say, people don't want to deal with that baggage.

Hold off telling anyone that the housemate is an an ex, at least until some kind of relationship has been established and they've gotten to keep your ex a few times.

AnonoBoy

Just a note.

If it's a few months down the line and you suddenly tell them that your friend is in fact an ex some people will not take that well and will think you covered it up because something was going on.

Been there, it didn't end well.

ibarelycare

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Just a note.

If it's a few months down the line and you suddenly tell them that your friend is in fact an ex some people will not take that well and will think you covered it up because something was going on.

Been there, it didn't end well.

+1

It's definitely something that you'd need to address early on if you can see things progressing with someone.

Can you not find somewhere else to live, if you're finding that it's an issue?

FizzleSticks

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