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14 year old vaping...Should we allow it?

  • 23-05-2016 1:34pm
    Registered Users Posts: 349 ✭✭

    When my son was 13 I caught him smoking hash and was pretty shocked. It seemed a lot of kids in his school were doing it. After this I found out he was vaping and told him to get rid of this, which he did and now recently I find out he's smoking cigarettes. he's now just turned 14.

    He has ADHD and already has a very addictive personality so I'm not shocked or surprised that he's taken up these habits (although I'm a bit shocked about the hash!). Also, he's always gravitated towards an older crowd and was keen to grow up fast among his peers.

    He's told me he's addicted now, but wants to go onto vaping to relieve his habit. He even said he'd use 0mg Nictotine! Although I'm not sure how that's going to relieve the addiction - I think it's a physical thing he likes. We're always asking him to be honest with us, so now that he has I'm in a bind! We've taken away a lot of his privileges for the smoking, but I don't think this has worked at all. My OH is of the opinion to just force him to stop, cutting off all money he gets and removing privileges. But I'm thinking I'd rather control the situation and let him vape. I'd rather this than him going behind our back and smoking cigarettes.

    The other thing too is that I used to be a smoker and started when I was around 13, so I can't be too hard on him. I've given up years ago now.

    Looking for some advice from parents who are/were in this situation.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,252 ✭✭✭echo beach

    You have to pick your battles and in this case the non-negotiable has to be the hash (and alcohol). Whatever your views on it, the dangers to the adolescent brain are well known.
    You may have to make it clear that you disapprove of vaping but will not stop him, if he can fund the habit himself. He is getting to an age when the number of things you can ban is very limited so choose carefully. It may be just a phase and if it isn't seen to be annoying you he may lose interest.
    If it is a genuine addiction then see if you can get him help to stop if HE wants to. If he is addicted he won't be able to just stop.

  • Registered Users Posts: 349 ✭✭Barney224

    yes, I agree with you and as I said, the more we try to come down hard on him the more he'll do behind our backs. Also, we're always asking him to be more open and honest with us and now that he is (by admitting his addiction), we need to work with him. But as you say, the bigger concern for us is alcohol and hash, especially as he is already on medication.