Social Problems/Family Problems/Drug Problems Late teens

LegacyUser

Posting anonymously due to details.

Over the last year ive really gone anti social and feel lost.It all started from leaving school with great friends that i lived with for a couple years to moving back home, moving to college in a different town and living at home.

I dont really get on with my parents either but i dont want to talk about that really.

In the last 8-9 months its been a big change and ive not really connected with anyone and turning completely antic social mainly due smoking and selling weed probably smoking about 10-15 joints a day and not just selling a few bags so anyone that comes in contact with me thinks im a scumbag , a bad person and are sometimes scared of me.I have also stopped using all other substances a month ago which i feel is a big step.

After being fried and stoned 24/7 for months ive finally cut down with the weed last week and stopped my business.I feel ive really notice alot of people friends and family drift away and ive nothing much left other than a nice stack and one or two people that still talk to me on a regular basis.I really tried to change the last few weeks but i feel ive really changed as a person.

I feel i cant trust anyone anymore due to very bad friendships and relationships in the past. Im not even bothered going out anymore and meeting new people because all i think is "whats the point when im just going to get f**ked over again" i also feel that i cant even start a conversation even if i tried and dont seem to enjoy going out to nightclubs/pubs or even just to shops all i do is lazy around smoking weed.

I really don't know what to do anymore will i go back to college and will i end up back doing what was i doing or will i keep on the right track even when i run out of money i dont want to go back dealing with weed.I just want things to go back to the way they were a year ago

Lastly id rather not have people posting negative comments.

tomwaterford

Firstly give up the weed For a few months at least ......do you even enjoy it anymore?


Plenty of people out there like you who went heavy on it for a year/two and still turned their life around

LegacyUser

Ye i do ill still have one every night to relax chill for an hour or two and drift off to bed.

I dont think i could give it up for a few months the most ive gone is 3 days maybe 3 or 4 times in the last 9 months without it.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Clampdown

Could you try talking to your gp, it sounds like you are suffering from depression. I've felt the same way, no point to anything, unmotivated, etc. Too much herb doesn't help with that, you're couch-locked and lazy and want to do more but can't be arsed, then you feel guilty, and it's like a negative cycle you get stuck in.

I went to my gp, got referred to an addiction counselor (more for drink than weed) and also referred to counselling for depression, did CBT, and am now on a low dose of an antidepressant and I have gotten a bit better. Still have blue days but they're less common and less heavy. I think I was self medicating a lot with herb and booze and now that I feel a bit better I don't drink any more and only smoke occasionally and not as a habit. As a result I've gotten a lot more productive and goal oriented.

Since you have some money available maybe think about relocating to where you aren't known as a dealer and is far enough away that you don't have any way to re-up, and look for a straight job.

deseil

Hi op,
In my work I deal with lots of young people smoking large amounts of weed and almost all of them suffer from the social anxiety and isolating themselves from peers/ family that you are experiencing.

The sooner you realise that your weed habit is the problem the better. I know its hard, you have developed a serious habit but loss of ambition, drive and enjoyment come hand in hand when you are smoking so much weed.

Like others have said contacting your gp is a good idea but you need to be in a place where you recognise and accept that weed is the problem.

On a positive note you seem to really want change in your life and it is possible to turn it all around. You are young with your whole life ahead of you "the world is your oyster" as they say.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

FizzleSticks:


Because ill end up being broke if dont manage to get a legal job or go back to selling.
Hopefully ill get enough on my susi grant to cover my rent atleast and a small part time job to cover other expensives.

Also as you can imagine earning 1k a week for doing little or nothing and smoking weed is also hard to give up.

Ill try going tonight without smoking if i can or even a little less.


Clampdown:

Not possible going to a GP about depression or smoking weed due to id rather not risk my firearms being taken away as i feel going out shooting is very activity for me to get out on my own or with friends.

Also id rather not start talking anti depressants as thats just another substance ill end up having problems giving up.

Ive given up at the moment since im back home in the middle of no where so theres no chance of me starting back over the summer or until im driving.

Also it dosent matter where in ireland i go i can still re up anytime i want.Also moving away from home with loads of cash will just spark more problems with my family which i dont want to do as things have been okay lately.And they dont know how much i have.


deseil:


Ye its definatly a problem alright..the only postive thing is i didnt mange to screw up in college and i actually managed to do well in my course even though i was stoned all the time!Also i really enjoy my course which is a step in the right direction.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Clampdown

I wasn't aware that talking to your gp about anxiety could lead to a firearm license being taken away. Whether or not I owned firearms was never brought up.

I thought the same about the meds and twice I was put on them and then stopped because I was afraid of being stuck on them but now I've stayed on them for the last 2 months and they have helped, it's just a small barely noticeable affect but my anxiety and pessimism has subsided a bit and made life seem like less of a chore. Some of the changes I wanted to make, like quitting alcohol and weed, became easier as well because I didn't need to use the substances to cope with low moods as much.

Maybe check out the self help section in the bookstore instead, if you won't go to the doctor.

LegacyUser

FizzleSticks:

I definitely feel like ive been living in two worlds.None of what i used to do seems real since ive been sobering up lately. Ive definitely been smoking to much weed and going to my happy place where everything is going to be fine.My memory has definitely suffered as well although i never really did want to think much about the past.


Clampdown:

Ye im pretty sure if i told my gp ive been smoking weed for 9 months, taking other drugs and im depressed im pretty sure id never be allowed have a gun.

Well done on quiting the weed and alcohol




Lastly the last few days have been very hard i really dont know what to do with my family i really cant stand them and there not much support.Black mailing me and being nasty in general.
I really cant take much more

Clampdown

Well come on dude, you need to sort these problems out way more than you need to own a firearm, wouldn't you agree? And anyway that isn't likely to even come up in the conversation unless you mention that you own one or want one. Unless a doctor or counselor has reason to believe you will hurt yourself or others they have to keep your info confidential. It's not a good enough excuse for someone who is as isolated as you currently are because really you don't have anyone else who can help you with this, you need to talk to a professional. Some are very good and the counselling is not confrontational or judgemental. It's about helping you make positive choices so you can feel a little less crap each day.

Once you realize you're doing something too much and the habit is interfering with your ability to enjoy life, you'll feel guilty every time you take it and then you can't enjoy the drug either. So at that point the sooner you realize the party's ovsr and move on, the better. But only you can make the choice and do the work to change. It's very hard ar first, but gets easier. Eventually the cravings become less frequent and less strong. I distract myself with anything I can - cleaning, exercise, writing, drawing, anything.