Struggling to meet friends

Powerfairy

Ok so this post could go either way with people telling me to cop on and the likes but I will tell you my story anyway,
I'm 29 in a few weeks and I feel like a bit of a loner. I have 3 best friends they all are married, Now. I live in Dublin so I don't see them much, anymore,
I'm 3 years here and I've yet to make a friendship, that lasts, I'm friends with a girl in work but that is literally it,
I live with a girl who I'm "friends" with but she's a bit of a vampire sucks the life out of me with stories of men rejecting her, and constantly chasing after men,

I've never made a meaningful connection in Dublin.my boyfriend has a lovely big crew of mates like 12 of them, and to be honest sometimes I'm a bit jealous as I'm
Afraid he will notice I'm a loner,

We're talking about moving in next year and it fills me with dread as he will soon see that I'm living a sad life,
I'm doing accountancy exams and I try to make friends in college but the class is a lot older than me,

I do not know If it's me and maybe I'm socially awkward but I do know growing up I stuck to my 3 best friends and that was it, which I now regret. The lack of friends has stopped me travelling and I feel like life is passing me by

I don't know what to do; I am scared when I think imagine if I got engaged and had a hen party and who would go! Or my engagement party or even next year my 30th,

I know this is a massive Post but I'd really appreciate any suggestions on how to meet People

Thank you xx

smash

Powerfairy wrote: »

Ok so this post could go either way with people telling me to cop on and the likes but I will tell you my story anyway,
I'm 29 in a few weeks and I feel like a bit of a loner. I have 3 best friends they all are married, Now. I live in Dublin so I don't see them much, anymore,
I'm 3 years here and I've yet to make a friendship, that lasts, I'm friends with a girl in work but that is literally it,
I live with a girl who I'm "friends" with but she's a bit of a vampire sucks the life out of me with stories of men rejecting her, and constantly chasing after men,

I've never made a meaningful connection in Dublin.my boyfriend has a lovely big crew of mates like 12 of them, and to be honest sometimes I'm a bit jealous as I'm
Afraid he will notice I'm a loner,

We're talking about moving in next year and it fills me with dread as he will soon see that I'm living a sad life,
I'm doing accountancy exams and I try to make friends in college but the class is a lot older than me,

I do not know If it's me and maybe I'm socially awkward but I do know growing up I stuck to my 3 best friends and that was it, which I now regret. The lack of friends has stopped me travelling and I feel like life is passing me by

I don't know what to do; I am scared when I think imagine if I got engaged and had a hen party and who would go! Or my engagement party or even next year my 30th,

I know this is a massive Post but I'd really appreciate any suggestions on how to meet People

Thank you xx

Better off posting in PI.

ToddyDoody

How to meet people in Dublin?

I can't advise but don't mind the boyfriend's opinion ffs.They talk a big game but they're tiny inside.

stoplooklisten

Would you do bit of travelling on your own?

CB19Kevo

Powerfairy wrote: »

Ok so this post could go either way with people telling me to cop on and the likes but I will tell you my story anyway,
I'm 29 in a few weeks and I feel like a bit of a loner. I have 3 best friends they all are married, Now. I live in Dublin so I don't see them much, anymore,
I'm 3 years here and I've yet to make a friendship, that lasts, I'm friends with a girl in work but that is literally it,
I live with a girl who I'm "friends" with but she's a bit of a vampire sucks the life out of me with stories of men rejecting her, and constantly chasing after men,

I've never made a meaningful connection in Dublin.my boyfriend has a lovely big crew of mates like 12 of them, and to be honest sometimes I'm a bit jealous as I'm
Afraid he will notice I'm a loner,

We're talking about moving in next year and it fills me with dread as he will soon see that I'm living a sad life,
I'm doing accountancy exams and I try to make friends in college but the class is a lot older than me,

I do not know If it's me and maybe I'm socially awkward but I do know growing up I stuck to my 3 best friends and that was it, which I now regret. The lack of friends has stopped me travelling and I feel like life is passing me by

I don't know what to do; I am scared when I think imagine if I got engaged and had a hen party and who would go! Or my engagement party or even next year my 30th,

I know this is a massive Post but I'd really appreciate any suggestions on how to meet People

Thank you xx

Join a sports club or Voluntary group that may interest you,Easier to make friends if you enjoy the same things.
Clearly you aint a complete Loner if you have 3 good friends and a boyfriend.

Chain Smoker

Options for maintaining friends into an older age:
- make some family into friends of sorts
- cling onto friends from school/college, very hard to rebuild these if either of you let them slip though
- relentlessly pursue social activities but decidedly not with a mindset that you're looking for friends because that'll come across weird


If you're an older married woman and live in the country, your husband dying seems to give you access to some kind of widows' club too. That's not really any use to you though

Dave0301

Meetup.com would be a good place to start.

Also, never underestimate the power of striking up a conversation and putting yourself out there before other people do in social situations.

Talking to your boyfriend may help, as if he has a large group of male friends, some may have girlfriends that you can hang out with.

Chain Smoker

Dave0301 wrote: »

Meetup.com would be a good place to start.

Does anyone actually make friends off meetup? I feel like for the amount it's thrown about as a solution, I never hear anyone mention it as a success in that regard.

It can be a good way of try out some new activities without the commitment of signing up to a class or to get active in a new area, but I'm not convinced the format works that well for making friends.

thattequilagirl

Chain Smoker wrote: »

Does anyone actually make friends off meetup? I feel like for the amount it's thrown about as a solution, I never hear anyone mention it as a success in that regard.

It can be a good way of try out some new activities without the commitment of signing up to a class or to get active in a new area, but I'm not convinced the format works that well for making friends.

I haven't tried it in Dublin but I have in other countries.

Join a team of some kind for camaraderie.

MRnotlob606

I used to to be quite a loner. The I started doing voluntary work and made many new friends. I became like the co-ordinator of the organisation this year and it's given me a lot of confidence. My tip is, if its voluntary work, there's a strong likelyhood you're going to meet nice, empathetic and friendly people. Would strongly recommend voluntary work as means of meeting new friends. I'm sure many people can attest to this too.

endacl

ToddyDoody wrote: »

I can't advise but don't mind the boyfriend's opinion ffs.They talk a big game but they're tiny inside.

Heh?!? He hasn't offered one?

thegreatgonzo

Chain Smoker wrote: »

Does anyone actually make friends off meetup? I feel like for the amount it's thrown about as a solution, I never hear anyone mention it as a success in that regard.

It can be a good way of try out some new activities without the commitment of signing up to a class or to get active in a new area, but I'm not convinced the format works that well for making friends.

I did. Through a hillwalking group. Met more friends through friend made in group.

Powerfairy

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

I used to to be quite a loner. The I started doing voluntary work and made many new friends. I became like the co-ordinator of the organisation this year and it's given me a lot of confidence. My tip is, if its voluntary work, there's a strong likelyhood you're going to meet nice, empathetic and friendly people. Would strongly recommend voluntary work as means of meeting new friends. I'm sure many people can attest to this too.

I genuinely never thought of that. I would love to do some volunteer work for the homeless, thanks so much for this suggestion xx

Chain Smoker

thegreatgonzo wrote: »

I did. Through a hillwalking group. Met more friends through friend made in group.

Oooh, hiking would be a good one alright! Walking produces the best talking, that's what I always say.

Well, I don't say it, but, it definitely helps force a natural conversational flow.

Shint0

There's a lot of unjustified stigma attached to people who live a more solitary life. The issue is does it bother you per se or are you more bothered by other's perception of you.

ancapailldorcha

OP, I'm moving your thread to Personal Issues where I think you'll get better responses.