Not His Daughter

MrsLimerick

Re direct the message if this isn't the place to post .

There is a woman from my husbands past that he knew briefly and her daughter . her daughter was only two or three at the time . Last christmas she got in touch saying that her daughter who is now eight wanted to show him photos of her . we told her not to contact us again . last week she got in touch and said it was her daughter's 9th birthday and she wanted to talk to my husband . we again told her to leave us alone and made it very clear in a polite way that we want nothing to do with them . she keeps saying she is his daughter when we know she's not and i think there is something mentally wrong with this woman and that she needs help. i feel sorry for her but my patience is wearing thin . we have made it clear that we want nothing to do with her that hes not her dad and he never was. this child is definitely not my husband's and i don't know what else we can do only block her .
it's so stressful as she wont leave us alone only plus side is she's living in a different country. can anyone give me advice .

fits

Why dont you believe her? you can test for paternity pretty easily nowadays. It will end the discussion for once and for all if he did not father the child, but if he did, he should step up to his responsibility.

edit, I just re read that she was already 2 or 3 when he knew the woman. Still might be no harm to insist on paternity test to drive the point home.

Lady is a tramp

What about getting a DNA test done so at least she can't make those claims any more?

stargazer 68

How is she getting in touch with you? Phone, email, facebook? There is no reason not to block her on all of these so why don't you?

Sapphire

If she is ill and has a fixation then maybe a DNA test will drive home to her that she's wrong. And then you also have proof that she has no need to contact you so you can follow up with a formal letter to her to leave you alone.

MrsLimerick

I think we will have to get a dna test to prove it to her . she was emailing and facebook mailing us but we have her blocked now . i'm just afraid she would turn up out of the blue and what she would do i wouldn't put it past her if she's that unwell that she thinks the child is his and i'm afraid of what she might do to our children. if he was the dad he would have stepped up to the plate from the beginning he's not a bad person but she was 2/3 years old when he first met her mother and it was only a friendship that only lasted a short time while he was in england he was only there for a week or two that's it . she has some fixation on him.

Rekop dog

Strange, whether you admit it or not you can't be absolutely 100% certain in your head it's lies, hard to believe someone would be that persistent if at least something hadn't happened between them. Anyway the DNA is the best way to proceed, maybe calling her insane is a sort of denial on your part from actually dealing with the issue head on.

Mr. Incognito

I know that you want to believe your husband but I doubt very much that you can simply write this woman off as ill.

At the very least you should propose a DNA test to ensure the truth.

You might be surprised

miamee

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

I know that you want to believe your husband but I doubt very much that you can simply write this woman off as ill.

At the very least you should propose a DNA test to ensure the truth.

You might be surprised

Exactly. It's amazing the amount of women who are written off as "crazy". Suggest a DNA test to your husband and see how he reacts.

Duvetdays

It's his word to you that the child was 2 when they met and you've no reason to not believe him. It's quite possible that the child is asking about her father and maybe her mother doesn't know who the father is so has told the child it's your husband. Or maybe she is just mentally ill and is fixated on your husband.

Suggest a dna test for your husband as away to get this woman out of your life once and for all. If it comes back negative like you expect then threaten her with the police if she doesn't leave you alone. If he refuses the dna test then maybe she's not so crazy after all.

handlemaster

simple DNA test. Thats it, don't see why OP hasn't done it already

Pawwed Rig

I can't see how you can suggest a DNA test without calling him a liar??

silverharp

OP , either ignore her or just send her a strongly worded letter/email to stop harassing you and your family or you will report her to her local police. I'd ignore the suggestions for a dna test , for a start it would be a waste of a couple of hundred euros plus it might be insulting to your husband to even suggest it.

nikkibikki

Or leave the onus of a DNA test on her. Send her a letter saying we know he is not the child's father and happy to prove so if required by her. And to please leave you alone. If contact persists, escalate to solicitors letter.

baby and crumble

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I can't see how you can suggest a DNA test without calling him a liar??

In fairness if she is ill then the only way that it can be proven to the courts, it's more for future legal action. The court would probably demand it anyway.

ted1

Have you ever considered that the child is his?

B.A._Baracus

This is a headwrecking situation. Feel sorry for you MrsLimerick as there are so many variables in this one.

If you suggest to get a test done, your husband may take that as a sign you do not trust him? But even if he was cool with it this woman has to agree to it too! She could turn around and say "No, I dont need a test, I know he is the father!" - There is that possibility she is a crazy person as well (which you think)

But honestly, MrsLimerick. You've already picked your side. Your husbands and good on you and since you've played the polite game so much well... why not just be upfront. Why not just tell this woman to get lost?

Starokan

Sometimes where there is smoke there is no fire. If someone was accusing me of being the father of their child and I categorically knew I was not then there is no way in hell I would entertain the concept of doing a DNA test. Why would I involve myself in someone else's sick delusion.

melissak

Starokan wrote: »

Sometimes where there is smoke there is no fire. If someone was accusing me of being the father of their child and I categorically knew I was not then there is no way in hell I would entertain the concept of doing a DNA test. Why would I involve myself in someone else's sick delusion.

So a child that is not yours is not brought up for any longer believing that you are its father?

irishgirl19

Starokan wrote:

Sometimes where there is smoke there is no fire. If someone was accusing me of being the father of their child and I categorically knew I was not then there is no way in hell I would entertain the concept of doing a DNA test. Why would I involve myself in someone else's sick delusion.

Exactly. And if the woman is delusional, I don't think a DNA test would do much to put her off. After all she thinks someone who met after her child was born is her father...
Don't waste your money OP