Might be gay, have a gay brother advice?

newdriverlad

I could write a very long post about this bit I'll try an summerise it.
▪I'm nearly in my mid twentieth, brother is in his mid thirties. Growing up I always had a fair idea he might have being gay.
He came out when he was in his late twenties when I was in secondary school.
▪ Whilst we are brothers we've little in common. When I was seven he was off to college and I didn't see much of him, only at weekends. We've different tastes in most things and different views on a lot of issues.
▪ Basically when it comes to being attracted to people I can be rather picky. Well I suppose I'm open to talk to anybody and it's not all about looks but I generally know after a short period of time if there's a click there.
▪I'm attracted to women but I'm attracted to men more. However I'd have no issue having sex with a woman. The taught of having sex with a man sort of disgusts me. I'd find a man's body very attractive tough.
▪ In school I didn't really got on with the gay guys. I could have conversations but we had nothing in common. I found the same thing in college.
▪I'd be sort of open to experimenting with guys tough but the issue is if I go to a city near me my brother is nearly always out in the gay bars and I'd be almost guaranteed to run into him or his friends. I've the same issue with grindr, when I join it he's nearly always on it and people he's friends with often appear as well. If I did put up a profile picture it wouldn't take him long to make it into a big deal.

Any advice?

Annasopra

Get on with life and tell your brother to get a life

Ten of Swords

1) Go out and run the risk of meeting your brother/his friends
2) Talk to your brother first, then go out
3) Go to another town/city
4) Do nothing

You and your brother are both adults. If he does find out somehow what's he going to do, tell on you? I'm assuming if he is mid thirties he doesn't live with you.

I guess it depends on how much you want to experiment, it sounds like you're still uncertain if you even want to. Weigh up how much harm, or perceived harm, word of it getting back to your brother would do and decide if it's worth the risk or not. Personally I would not let fear of discovery make my decisions for me so I'd go for option 1.

Mr.Frame

It's YOUR life not anyone elses, so if you want to go and meet with a guy ,do it, lifes too short.
On one hand you say having sex with a guy disgusts you and on the other hand you want to hook up with a guy.
You need to make up your mind as to what you want.
Lots of guys have that attitude, "thoughts of having sex with a guy disgusts me ect " in a way its a type of defense mechanism.
Maybe you are gay maybe you just want to experiment , the only person who knows that is you.
When you say it disgusts you, what exactly do you mean?

newdriverlad

[quote="Mr.Frame;99676295"
When you say it disgusts you, what exactly do you mean?[/quote]

What I basically mean is the thought of having anal sex with another man doesn't seem appealing to mean but I do feel attracted to other men. If that makes sense?

Water John

Would you consider talking with your brother, first.
Things must have been though for him ion the past. Would he be understanding?

Ten of Swords

newdriverlad wrote: »

What I basically mean is the thought of having anal sex with another man doesn't seem appealing to mean but I do feel attracted to other men. If that makes sense?

That makes sense and is not unusual at all, many gay and bisexual men do not have anal sex for a variety of reasons, for some it may just be unappealing, others may have issues with discomfort or risks, perceived or otherwise. There is no set standard for gay/bi men, do whatever works for you, so don't worry your viewpoint is perfectly normal.

Mr.Frame

newdriverlad wrote: »

What I basically mean is the thought of having anal sex with another man doesn't seem appealing to mean but I do feel attracted to other men. If that makes sense?

There's lots of things to do beside "anal sex" many many gay guys in relationships or not DO NOT have anal sex.
Being gay doesn't mean you have to have anal sex,so maybe you should get that out of your head and relax a little.