I think my friend doesnt like me

LegacyUser

hello , I am anonymous incase I am recognised, anyways I have a friend several years and I think I get the feeling she's doesn't like me she ll organise various nights out with other friends and not invite me or ignore me if i call or text and then dismiss me if i say has she a problem. when we do meet up if I am talking she ll put her hand literally to my face to shh me up if she needs to talk , I am unemployed but studying very hard and when I mentioned that I have an interview this week she compared me to a person she works with saying "if that thicko can study and get a job even you should be able to".she works as a basic office assistant but has a real highness about it

she has always tried to exclude me and I don't really know what to do about it because we have several mutual friends , she always brings up my sexual past which I am not proud of making fun of it while other friends just kinda ignore it and move on I admit she hasn't quiet a past as me but I am married now happily while she is single . she ll happliy meet a married man and kiss him or stuff for the laugh but will still refer to my wild days if questioned ,

I really can't deal with her anymore but she seems to be the main leader of our friends and I havent the confidence to meet new friends

Dutchess

Sorry to read what you are going through. I think you know you have to cut her loose though. Because if your confidence is low now, spending time with her is not going to make that any better.

Try to confide in another friend in your circle maybe. She might not turn out to be so well loved as you may think. It all sounds a bit high school (not your fault at all) and the popular chick is more often someone people are afraid of rather than like. Standing up to her might actually give you a confidence boost.

And if your other friends in your circle don't include you, they might not really be friends anyway.

Best of luck!

GAAman

She's not your friend and she isn't even a nice person. Cut her out of your life and soon you'll feel better about yourself, I did

LegacyUser

What age is she? Sounds like school yard stuff,I couldn't be dealing with that and don't think you should either.
Why not join girl crew? It will make you realise you can make friends who treat you like they should

ManOfMystery

Your friend sounds nasty and not a very nice person. I wouldn't do some of those things to a randomer who I took a dislike to, never mind someone who's meant to be a 'friend' and who she should care about.

I try not to generalise about anyone too often, but I have encountered the odd office manager/assistant like her before in my career. Some of them seem to think their position elevates them above others working in the same office and this attitude is often apparent outside the office too. I've absolutely no idea why, I've never really encountered many other people in a similar low-to-medium admin role who think like that.

I would suggest cutting her out of your life. People like this rarely change. On a personal level, whilst most other posters here would probably advise it, I would probably get great satisfaction out of telling her to her face what she is before removing her from my life.

Merkin

Your 'friend' isn't a friend at all but a shameless bully. You are not benefiting in any way from having someone so toxic in your life so you simply need to sever ties and cut her out of your life. Your confidence will actually grow dramatically by taking positive steps to no longer associate with her.

LegacyUser

hi thanks for all the replies me again here, she is 27 and I am 29, I haven't a clue why she acts like this to me , sometimes even if I run into her and a friend in town or we all meet up together she will literally turn her back to me and speak to our friends and ignore what I am saying , almost edging away and turning her face away from me almost shushing me uo, everytime I try talk or be part of the conversation.

even lets say if we all meet up for drinks for a night out , we will take pictures of us posing and I have noticed everytime I am in a photo she will actually not upload it or delete it!! I mean shes a pretty girl but I obviously threaten her for some reason , I am quite exotic looking so maybe thats the reason .

I do have a great laugh with her but it is not worth coming away from meeting her feeling stupid and what not

Emme

friendornot wrote: »

hello , I am anonymous incase I am recognised, anyways I have a friend several years and I think I get the feeling she's doesn't like me she ll organise various nights out with other friends and not invite me or ignore me if i call or text and then dismiss me if i say has she a problem. when we do meet up if I am talking she ll put her hand literally to my face to shh me up if she needs to talk , I am unemployed but studying very hard and when I mentioned that I have an interview this week she compared me to a person she works with saying "if that thicko can study and get a job even you should be able to".she works as a basic office assistant but has a real highness about it

she has always tried to exclude me and I don't really know what to do about it because we have several mutual friends , she always brings up my sexual past which I am not proud of making fun of it while other friends just kinda ignore it and move on I admit she hasn't quiet a past as me but I am married now happily while she is single . she ll happliy meet a married man and kiss him or stuff for the laugh but will still refer to my wild days if questioned ,

I really can't deal with her anymore but she seems to be the main leader of our friends and I havent the confidence to meet new friends

1) She is what is known as a Frenemy - somebody who is nominally a friend but behaves like an enemy
2) She is probably jealous of you on two counts - you are studying hard to improve yourself and you are happily married.
3) You don't need her in your life and by the sounds of it you don't need the others. If they're not willing to bystep her exclusion of you and ask you to meet themselves they're not worth it either.

You're probably busy right now but it might be worth joining some meetup groups and activity based social clubs. Move on from the pettiness of this girl and her coterie. Put it this way - she's happy to snog married men on nights out. Would you like people to snog your husband on nights out? If not why are you hanging out with people who knowingly snog married men? What you did in the past is irrelevant, you have moved on and you are working on making your life better. It would be even better still without her around.

Colser

She is totally jealous of you OP.I have often seen this carry on from girls to their "friends". Ignore her and stop phoning /texting her,she will come crawling back but wont have changed so dont fall for it,she will never be your friend.

You have nothing to be ashamed of in relation to your past ,its probably stuff that we all did (and shes probably jealous of that too) and and kind of decent person (especially a friend) would never dream of mentioning it anyway...if thats all she can throw at you then shes grasping at straws.

You can be quite sure that other people have noticed it and probably dont particularly like her either.Forget her and carry on enjoying your life and studies.

irishgirl19

Jealous of you definitely

Ursus Horribilis

I get the impression that you're "friends" with her because she's unfortunately mixed up in your larger group of friends. The sort of person who wouldn't bother even talking to you if circumstances hadn't forced you together. It is a real shame that she is friends with the others because my advice to you would've been to cut all contact on the spot. She's toxic and not the sort of person you need to have in your life. Cutting her out of your life's going to be trickier because of your friends. If you can't cut her completely out of your life, my advice to you is to dial right back on your contact with her. Don't engage with her on nights out. Don't seek out her company or confide in her. Keep contact to a polite minimum. If she tries to dig up dirt about your past, have a comment ready to put her back in her place and walk away.

I'm wondering where your other friends are in this though. Are they genuinely your friends or are they people you've always hung around with and need for company? They don't seem to be looking out for you in any of this.