Does your spouse/partner/GF/BF/Kids help out on the farm?

Muckit

I hope I've covered all possible scenarios in the title, but anyhow you get the jest :-)

I'm not suggesting they should or shouldn't. This tread isn't about that and l hope it doesn't descend into an argument about that.

My wife doesn't, never has and never will. And to be honest, l wouldn't want her too!

RightTurnClyde

No, apparently she's too busy with a full time job and two kids.
Ya just can't get good staff now a days

simx

Muckit wrote: »

I hope I've covered all possible scenarios in the title, but anyhow you get the jest :-)

I'm not suggesting they should or shouldn't. This tread isn't about that and l hope it doesn't descend into an argument about that.

My wife doesn't, never has and never will. And to be honest, l wouldn't want her too!

Sometimes she'll help milk cows and do cubicles in winter but that be about it, doing the cubicles is a great help when busy tbf

whelan2

Muckit wrote: »

I hope I've covered all possible scenarios in the title, but anyhow you get the jest :-)

I'm not suggesting they should or shouldn't. This tread isn't about that and l hope it doesn't descend into an argument about that.

My wife doesn't, never has and never will. And to be honest, l wouldn't want her too!

Wonder should you have kids in the title too? I would be lost without eldest lad to be truthful

sea12

No she has no interest and never will.

croot

sea12 wrote: »

No she has no interest and never will.

My wife is the same but she actually hates the farm and its probably the biggest cause of rows in our house.

whelan2

croot wrote: »

My wife is the same but she actually hates the farm and its probably the biggest cause of rows in our house.

Is that due to your time being spent on the farm?

croot

whelan2 wrote: »

Is that due to your time being spent on the farm?

Yes and also money. I've too much going out and not enough coming in. I have a mortgage sized loan on the farm (land and buildings) and she rightly questions whether there will ever be a return on investment. It was taken out before we were married.

The time is a big issue as well as she cant understand why I have a full time job and still spend nearly as much time farming. She has said if I took a second job and put in the same hours I'd have much more out of it. If I take time off to do something on the farm she'll tell I should be spending that time with the family. I see her point and while its probably selfish in a way I want to finish what I started and there should be more out of it and less time spent when I have it set up properly. Having said all that I'm coming round to her point of view more and more.

Sam Kade

croot wrote: »

My wife is the same but she actually hates the farm and its probably the biggest cause of rows in our house.

You should have married a woman with farming blood in her, I made the same mistake.

Sam Kade

All mine are adults and working but still at home, if anything happened me in the morning all stock wod be out the gate as they wouldn't have a clue what to do.

Buford T. Justice XIX

The kids are great help for feeding the calves and blocking the odd gap:rolleyes:.

My daughter, especially, lives with the calves and has way, way, way more patience for feeding the slow buggers than I have in spring and training calves to the bottle. She's down every evening unless she has a match and every morning with no school. Worth her weight in gold, she is!

The boys are good too for dosing calves and giving halocur to the calves every day but it gets hard to move them from the xbox:mad:.

Herself works part time and is great for picking stuff up from the vets and will muck in where needed.

They all get paid as well btw, no work, no pocket money. Except herself:D

Parishlad

croot wrote: »

Yes and also money. I've too much going out and not enough coming in. I have a mortgage sized loan on the farm (land and buildings) and she rightly questions whether there will ever be a return on investment. It was taken out before we were married.

The time is a big issue as well as she cant understand why I have a full time job and still spend nearly as much time farming. She has said if I took a second job and put in the same hours I'd have much more out of it. If I take time off to do something on the farm she'll tell I should be spending that time with the family. I see her point and while its probably selfish in a way I want to finish what I started and there should be more out of it and less time spent when I have it set up properly. Having said all that I'm coming round to her point of view more and more.

Very similar here in that my wife pretty much hates the farm and the time it takes (away from the family). Money side is not really a concern as we both are working in decent paid jobs and the farm is completely separate from a finance perspective.
It's full time juggling for me really to ensure that the family gets the time it needs. Very hard to do sometimes because, as you know, at different times of the year you just have to put the time in to the farm.
Have two small girls who every now and again come and see 'their' baby calves but they are too young to be around much more than that.

Full time working + Part time farming + Wife + (Young) Kids = ??

Dozer1

I'm lucky that my wife is from a small farming background so she understands what's involved from a time perspective.
we both work full time in good jobs and the farm has to support itself.

We bought a farm in our own right so it feels more "ours" than "mine" which is a massive help.
baby no2 arriving in July touch wood so massive amount of effort going in now to get the farm made easier.

5 year old likes helping out to so I'm not going to start complaining yet.

Limestone Cowboy

Ya, girlfriend is mighty around the place. Very interested in it but she grew up on a farm aswell.

Sam Kade

Limestone Cowboy wrote: »

Ya, girlfriend is mighty around the place. Very interested in it but she grew up on a farm aswell.

I know a woman from the city that married a farmer and ended up spending half a lifetime milking cows.

Reggie.

Yes as required

foxy farmer

Ah now isn't it well for ye?
Anyone else like me living alone and running a farm single handedly?
Have no notion of changing my single status. Life is too good and anyway people get on my nerves if I'm dealing with the same people day in day out.
Talking to a dairy farmer last week who was telling me he's coming to the realisation that his 4 sons have zero interest in the farm. The wife spends her days driving them to various events and he has fierce trouble to get them to do anything farm related.

darragh_haven

My OH has not set foot on the farm no more than half a dozen times in 8 years. And i wouldn't ask her to do anything either. We live about 1km from the yard and she has no need to go there

orm0nd

Sam Kade wrote: »

I know a woman from the city that married a farmer and ended up spending half a lifetime milking cows.

fairly similar story here, married a city lassie & she got dug in straight away,

back to op's question, I suppose in my case now I am the one that helps out , but after 45 years think I'm entitled to ease off.

greenpetrol

croot wrote: »

Yes and also money. I've too much going out and not enough coming in. I have a mortgage sized loan on the farm (land and buildings) and she rightly questions whether there will ever be a return on investment. It was taken out before we were married.

The time is a big issue as well as she cant understand why I have a full time job and still spend nearly as much time farming. She has said if I took a second job and put in the same hours I'd have much more out of it. If I take time off to do something on the farm she'll tell I should be spending that time with the family. I see her point and while its probably selfish in a way I want to finish what I started and there should be more out of it and less time spent when I have it set up properly. Having said all that I'm coming round to her point of view more and more.

I'm afraid it never ends ! You say when properly set up !but from my experience just when one job is done you will see another and take on project ! That's farming ! Constantly striving to improve the place ! It's a way of life more than a career

joejobrien

My OH works from from home for herself . Only ever visits the farm when baby calves hit the ground or take the kids out to view Silage time. Thats it in 15 years. City girl too but loves the country .However as other posters said returns on hours worked is way too small, frequently taking the place of leasure time and family time.

Grueller

Oh will stand in a gap, do vet runs, does the accounts and thats about it. A story about this springs to mind.

2 first cousins talking, John and Tom. Toms wife inherited a farm worth millions for development. Johns wife did all the milking on 120 cows. John says for the 100th time, "jaysus tom you were lucky to marry a woman with a place."
Tom quips "Jaysus John, weren't you lucky to marry a workman".

With working full time and running the house the wife has more than enough to be at. We bought our ow land too and she now has a fierce interest in the farm getting to its potential but does not want to be hands on nor do I want her to as she is doing enough.

Base price

In our situation I'm the partner. I work part time in a non agri related business but farm the rest of the time. If I could I would farm full time but unfortunately the money was never in it so I have always relied on my wages. My partner farms full time but he has an off farm income/job that is also agri related.
When I was married my sons (as younger children) used to help out on the farm (home place) at weekends and during the summer but they drifted away from it as they got older. They still have an interest in livestock and after my time/retirement I reckon one of them will keep a few cattle on my bit of land.

Bullocks

I'm cranky to work with so couldn't bring the wife out with me or we'd be divorced ! The kids are starting to help alright but we've agreed now that if I'm giving out too much that they head off home and leave me paddle my own canoe .
I'm more or less ready for a one man operation around here anyhow . The day of getting neighbours /kids /spouse or parents to help out is over I think

Limestone Cowboy

Sam Kade wrote: »

I know a woman from the city that married a farmer and ended up spending half a lifetime milking cows.

I know one too, nice lady she is!

Miname

The oh hates dirt and animals. I don't know how we ever got together but she does her thing I do mine and like previous posters gets a bit annoyed with the whole thing at times. I've a sixteen month old so can't really say I've her for help but the old mans still very involved even though he's in his seventies. Leads to some arguments but it would be worse if he wasn't there.

Sam Kade

Limestone Cowboy wrote: »

I know one too, nice lady she is!

You better tell her not to marry a farmer then, if she hasn't already

Eggie99

Married a lassie last year from a non farming backround, and also inherited the family farm, no kids but she is a full time nurse. Any day she is off she is stuck into something on the farm, and no bother this spring getting up in the middle of the night to help with the calving this spring. I'm sure she will get sick of it but for now she loves it. Which makes life easy when your missing half the time due to a full time job, and the other half farming.

whelan2

My Dad has been sick for over a week, really miss the help around the place , oh very busy off farm too. Even closing in cows or powerwashing down parlour . Lad that does a few milkings is away too. :mad:

Farmwife1

Hi

Farmers wife here. I did block a gap one time ;}

For us I think it's 50;50 on burden sharing. Until recently I have always worked full time, child minding duties are split and income share was 50:50 . We are fairly pragmatic, only do as much as you can handle - otherwise scale back :}.... kids are young still... they do little jobs ... It is a great lifestyle ... if you make it so.

oxjkqg

In my case i'm the son and work fulltime off farm and do a good few evenings, every saturday and milk on sunday to give pops the day off, we vary it all..

freedominacup

My mrs would be the polar opposite to whelans oh. Country girl, raised on a good sized mixed farm, can do it all, I've seen it with my own eyes, but rarely to never ventures out. No problem at all with that, was never part of the plan anyway. She works full-time elsewhere. I wish I was bringing in 50:50 every month but the way we look at it is I'm making pretty large pension contributions with monthly term loan payments. The farm will definitely be our pension pot.

Bullocks

freedominacup wrote: »

My mrs would be the polar opposite to whelans oh. Country girl, raised on a good sized mixed farm, can do it all, I've seen it with my own eyes, but rarely to never ventures out. No problem at all with that, was never part of the plan anyway. She works full-time elsewhere. I wish I was bringing in 50:50 every month but the way we look at it is I'm making pretty large pension contributions with monthly term loan payments. The farm will definitely be our pension pot.

Flog it ?

freedominacup

Bullocks wrote: »

Flog it ?

Once the banks are dealt with you have options.

Bullocks

freedominacup wrote: »

Once the banks are dealt with you have options.

Options and a bit more money in the pocket !

AntrimGlens

My OH wouldn't help out on the farm other than at lambing time to bring the kids up to the sheep house to feed pet lambs. But i think that may have to change as i'm currently on day 12 of her being in America and i'm at home minding the kids and the house. Sweet baby jaysus, do you know how many settings there are on an iron and a washing machine!!

She's gone to the States for a week with work, then a week visiting her sister, so home on thursday and i'll be glad to see her home. In fairness i'm happy to be at home spending the time with the children and we've not exactly been following the cirriculum or the kids thoughts on how this fortnight was going to pan out. I think they had the idea that daddy was gonna stick on the tv at 7 in the morning and come back at lunchtime.

We've built a climbing frame, cut the lawns, planted some trees, put up the hoops for a polytunnel, weighed lambs, took cull ewes to the mart, walked to the beach to look in rockpools and generally been outdoors for at least six hours a day. They've never slept as well at nightime..


and i've slept well too!!