only see my girlfriend once a month

LegacyUser

I'm seeing a girl for about 6 months. I work Monday to Friday and it's too far away for me to see her during the week.
Sometimes she comes to see me during the week but at the weekends she always seems to have a reason not to see me. The last couple of months I've only seen her about once in the month and it's always been hard to get seeing her although she always says it's just this weekend she has something on.
Having nearly no weekend where she hasn't some admidetly plausible thing on is strange enough as it always comes up from midweek on. I don't think once a month is enough to be seeing my girlfriend.
I think it's time to move on.

Ursus Horribilis

You've answered your own question here. It is time to move on. You're only an item six months so you hardly know her. I wonder does she have another boyfriend? It might explain why she won't see you at weekends...

Hombre Lobo

Hey OP, did you relationship start out like this or were you together within a short distance and only became long distance after a few months?

It's not a great way to start a relationship unfortunately, especially in the early stages when you're both getting to know one another and do things together as a couple.

FWIW I was in the exact same position as you a few months back. We both worked Mon-Fri, long distance and got to see each one about once every 3 - 4 weeks although both our reasons at the weekends were genuine.

In the end I had to call it quits after six months. Things weren't going to change in the short term on my side as I got even busier with work so I had to let go rather than wasting both our time even further unfortunately.

LegacyUser

We were always this distance apart. It's about 2 hours drive so not really something that can be done on a work night. I suppose weekends have always been hard to get her to meet up. At the start she did come to see me a lot of weeks but not every week either and there were times I'd go 2-3 weeks without seeing her.

I don't think she has another boyfriend but that could be wishful thinking and something I have considered.

Ursus Horribilis

I think you'd be as well off to cut your losses on this one. It's going nowhere. You're only seeing each other 6 months and you're 2 hours apart. She's very obviously not making time to see you at weekends and you're hardly seeing her. Really, if you break up will you notice any great difference in your life? She's very much a part-time girlfriend at best.

Hombre Lobo

I'd have to agree with Odus. If you are six months in and only see each other about once a month then it's not a great start to the relationship. Unless you see things are going to change in the short to medium term then the contact between you will be even less. You two should be seeing each other several times a week or at least once a week at this stage of your relationship.
Maybe talk to her and ask where she see's things going? Let her know that you think there's not enough contact between yourselves the way things currently are.

Big Bag of Chips

You've only mentioned her coming to see you, both midweek and weekend. Do you ever travel to see her? Is there a reason you don't? Does she suggest her coming to you rather than you travelling to her? I'd also wonder does she have another boyfriend in her home place, or does she not visit you at the weekends because she doesn't want to be the one always making the effort to travel.

Ursus Horribilis

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

You've only mentioned her coming to see you, both midweek and weekend. Do you ever travel to see her? Is there a reason you don't? Does she suggest her coming to you rather than you travelling to her? I'd also wonder does she have another boyfriend in her home place, or does she not visit you at the weekends because she doesn't want to be the one always making the effort to travel.

I wondered about that too, though he only specifically mentions her coming to see him midweek. It'd be interesting to find out (1) if he ever travelled to her home place at weekends and (2) if they went out in public if he did.

LegacyUser

The few weekends I have seen her I travel to her and have never asked her to travel to see me at the weekend. I'm aware I can't do it midweek and she works part time so easier for her midweek.
She seems to prefer to travel to see me. Anytime I have been in her place we just sat in with a takeaway. She wasn't really on for going out.
You can see why I'm suspicious and alarm bells are ringing.

LegacyUser

I don't know why you're bothering to find reasons or develop suspicions, the best that can be said is that she's making no effort, you're an option and she consistently finds better things to do. I wouldn't even describe someone with that attitude as my girlfriend. I'd be walking this off and getting on with finding someone that actually wanted to see me.

timmy880

At the end of the day, she is making absolutely no effort to spend time with you. It barely sounds like a relationship at this point which is unfortunate and frustrating for you. Whether she has someone else or not is actually irrelevant at this stage since she basically isn't around for you. Just walk away from the stress, worry and doubt of a situation like this and you will be much better off. I was in a similar situation before I met my wife. 6 months of a girl not really making an effort. Thankfully it ended and was the best thing to happen.

rainbowtrout

Nobody is that busy every weekend for 6 months. And if she is working part time, where would she get the money to be doing stuff every weekend?

For someone you don't see much of this seems like a lot of effort. Even if she doesn't have another boyfriend, this is the honeymoon period of the relationship, you'd imagine she'd be delighted to get to spend time with you at the weekend.

CaraMay

What's in this for you? You are effectively single. This is a waste of time op.

B.A._Baracus

From the sounds of it you are basically single and honestly, it would be hard to tell the difference between a 'friends with benefits' situation to yours. As essentially you are two people who meet up once a month and who are intimate (that sounds like friends with benefits!)

Now this is only my two cents, but if I was in your shoes I would assume there was another guy on the scene.
Because let's be honest, if there is someone else well then her meeting you would be slowly winding down and random excuses would be made.
I would end it. At the very least there is no relationship anymore. Not to mention the above. So i'd just end it rather than being stupid and continuing all for that eventual phone call of "we're kidding ourselfs aren't we... this isn't working out"

dixiefly

Have ye guys even met 12 times at this stage?

A long distance relationship like this needs a lot of effort and committment to work and that is usually with the carrot that one or the other will eventually move so that the distance is only temporary.

You both need to be prepared to travel and really feeling it when you do meet up.

I don't get the feeling that ye guys are any way close to that situation and I suspect that you will start to resent her if this continues so the others look to be right and I would agree that you should finish it up.

KikiDee

Get out OP. You're looking for a relationship? you've got what seems like a part time one. LDR's, as so many people have said on other posts, only work if both people will make the effort. She doesn't seem all that bothered so why should you be?

Sunny Dayz

We did the long distance thing at the start of our relationship, at one stage due to work and college we were at opposite ends of the country. However we texted and spoke on the phone all the time and made the effort to see each other at every opportunity, not helped by the fact that I didn't drive at the time. I think we seen each other almost every weekend or every other weekend.
But the thing was we were in contact most of the time, we were always looking forward to seeing each other, making plans for the next time we met up, being excited. I'm not picking up any of that from your posts on this thread.