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caad

I left my job over 2 years ago which I regret to this day. I was unwell at the time and made the wrong dicision. I told very few people. I was so ashamed. One person I did not tell was a friend who I only see about 4 times a year (we live far away from each other) but nevertheless a long time friend. Lately she has been asking about my job. Such as how is it going and how long am I there now. I think she knows and I want to sort it out but I don't know how. Please please give me some advice.

Speedwell

caad wrote: »

I left my job over 2 years ago which I regret to this day. I was unwell at the time and made the wrong dicision. I told very few people. I was so ashamed. One person I did not tell was a friend who I only see about 4 times a year (we live far away from each other) but nevertheless a long time friend. Lately she has been asking about my job. Such as how is it going and how long am I there now. I think she knows and I want to sort it out but I don't know how. Please please give me some advice.

First of all, you might as well forgive yourself for the mistake, just like you would forgive anyone else who made a mistake. Do that first and all the rest will be much easier. I'm not ashamed of you; it was just an unfortunate thing exacerbated by your illness and I'm sure you did the best you knew how at the time, which is all anyone can reasonably expect of you. It must have been a difficult decision.

About the friend you see only a few times a year... would a friend understand if you were to say, "I was ashamed to tell you, but the job didn't work out, and I'd appreciate it very much if you were to let me know if you hear of anything in my line"? If I were your friend, I'd understand.

If you didn't want to tell her because of some other circumstance (for example, you think she'd tell someone who shouldn't know), then address that first. Not everyone needs to know everything, and if this is a person who you genuinely think shouldn't have that information, then do not give in to her prodding.

caad

Speedwell wrote: »

First of all, you might as well forgive yourself for the mistake, just like you would forgive anyone else who made a mistake. Do that first and all the rest will be much easier. I'm not ashamed of you; it was just an unfortunate thing exacerbated by your illness and I'm sure you did the best you knew how at the time, which is all anyone can reasonably expect of you. It must have been a difficult decision.

About the friend you see only a few times a year... would a friend understand if you were to say, "I was ashamed to tell you, but the job didn't work out, and I'd appreciate it very much if you were to let me know if you hear of anything in my line"? If I were your friend, I'd understand.

If you didn't want to tell her because of some other circumstance (for example, you think she'd tell someone who shouldn't know), then address that first. Not everyone needs to know everything, and if this is a person who you genuinely think shouldn't have that information, then do not give in to her prodding.

Thanks so much

JuliusCaesar

This is the psychology forum, not Personal Issues, which the post is more suited for. I'll move it over there.