Another crush at work thread!

LegacyUser

Self explanatory thread title I think!
Basically theres a guy in my workplace, were on different teams but we work in the same area so I see him most days. They've just starting rolling out an IT programme so hes been in my department more in the last couple of weeks. He seems lovely and I'd be interested to get to know him better. I'm not the best at flirting and I want to get the message across but I dont want the office gossips watching and starting talking which they would if I was blatent!
i also dont want to be inappropriate as it is work!
I tried chatting today and he was really receptive but I dont know if hes just being nice so I'm wondering how I could go about getting the vibe across without being too inappropriate

WheatenBriar

lsjfaoisdjfaepdoifj wrote: »

Self explanatory thread title I think!
Basically theres a guy in my workplace, were on different teams but we work in the same area so I see him most days. They've just starting rolling out an IT programme so hes been in my department more in the last couple of weeks. He seems lovely and I'd be interested to get to know him better. I'm not the best at flirting and I want to get the message across but I dont want the office gossips watching and starting talking which they would if I was blatent!
i also dont want to be inappropriate as it is work!
I tried chatting today and he was really receptive but I dont know if hes just being nice so I'm wondering how I could go about getting the vibe across without being too inappropriate

Ask him can you borrow his phone for a moment,call your phone and save his number,let him know that's what you're doing and that you'd like to meet up sometime
You'll need some balls but as you know a dumb priestess never gets a parish
He might be taken but you'll never know unless you try and he certainly won't
Good luck ok

Sapphire

Take a deep breath and ask him out.

If he says yes then happy days. If he says no then really it's no big deal - he may have feelings for someone else, he might have a relationship already, but he'll probably feel very flattered he was asked out in the first place.

If you really cant do that then maybe do the old fashioned way of name dropping a pub where you will be on a certain night and see if he takes the hint and turns up.

Augme

Sapphire wrote: »

Take a deep breath and ask him out.

If he says yes then happy days. If he says no then really it's no big deal - he may have feelings for someone else, he might have a relationship already, but he'll probably feel very flattered he was asked out in the first place.

If you really cant do that then maybe do the old fashioned way of name dropping a pub where you will be on a certain night and see if he takes the hint and turns up.

Unless he's a stalker or you really go OTT on the flirting while saying it then he's never gonna turn up.

fergiesfolly

WheatenBriar wrote: »

Ask him can you borrow his phone for a moment,call your phone and save his number,let him know that's what you're doing and that you'd like to meet up sometime
You'll need some balls but as you know a dumb priestess never gets a parish
He might be taken but you'll never know unless you try and he certainly won't
Good luck ok

Don't do any of this unless you live in a movie or only want to hook up for a one night stand.
Ask him out.
Nothing,too hot and heavy.
Quick drink after work or a lunchtime coffee.
He'll either say yes or be really flattered and have some reason to say no( in a relationship etc)
Either way, he won't think badly of you( who doesn't like their ego stroked) so no harm done.

Sapphire

Augme wrote: »

Unless he's a stalker or you really go OTT on the flirting while saying it then he's never gonna turn up.

Um, no. It was the tried and tested way before social media and mobiles and before it was cool for a woman to ask a guy out. And it was a pretty successful technique all round. Well, successful for me and my friends anyway.

They way it worked was: you just get chatting to your Crush about plans for the weekend, mention a pub you'd plan to be in with friends, and if he was interested, he would usually either land in with some friends too and things would progress from there, or he wouldn't. If he was interested but had plans, then he would usually let you know and mention that he would be sure to check out said pub the following weekend. It would all be unsaid, but you'd both know the score.

In fact, back in the 80's and early 90's in Ireland anyway you didn't really go on official dates as such until you were an established couple. There wasn't much asking out, it was a lot less direct. You'd get asked to dance during a slow set at a disco, possibly have a snog, then outside for a proper snogging session. A few of those in a row and you *might* get asked to go steady. A different kind of social networking I suppose.

I'm feeling really old now

Clampdown

If he does IT stuff maybe you have a computer at home that's been acting up he could take a look at?

I know it sounds like the opening of a bad porno but I had a girl do this once and it worked. We never bothered about the computer once I was at her flat, so don't worry if you don't actually have a broken computer.

fergiesfolly

Clampdown wrote: »

If he does IT stuff maybe you have a computer at home that's been acting up he could take a look at?

I know it sounds like the opening of a bad porno but I had a girl do this once and it worked. We never bothered about the computer once I was at her flat, so don't worry if you don't actually have a broken computer.

Are ye still together?

Clampdown

fergiesfolly wrote: »

Are ye still together?

Well we're dragging off topic a bit but to satisfy your curiosity, no. It lasted about six months, was years ago. What's funny is we were both chancing our arms, her computer wasn't broken, and I don't know how to repair computers at all.

squonk

OP I'd say from a guy's perspective here, just ask him if he fancies a drink and take it from there. He'd be delighted to be asked and if he's taken all he can do is decline gracefully. Just be direct and don't make a big deal out of it.

Don't bother with the phone thing. That's slightly creepy and aggressive and it kind of puts you in an awkward position if he's not available or doesn't want anything more.

As for the pub hint dropping, I suppose you could try that if you are a bit shy but, honestly, it's 2016 and being in my 40's I can really see that women have the same drives and attractions us guys have so, in the case, since you know you like this guy, just rip off the band-aid and ask him for a drink. You'll know straight away what the story is and you won't waste a week or two wondering if anything will happen.