Here is a list of tools that have helped me maintain my sobriety.

The flying mouse

Just thought I would make a thread about the different tools that might help you us stay on the track we want to stay on, this is short and incomplete, help us all out and add your sobriety tools to the list.


Make a written list, write down:

The reason/s you want to be al free.

How bad physically and mentally you feel after an adventure with alcohol (be graphic)

A list of your favorite alcohol free drinks.

Triggers that make you want to drink and be aware of them.

Some of these tools are not mine but were/are used by other people in there own fight, they have no problem with me sharing there stories here.

The flying mouse

Urge surfing is an important and very helpful way to deal with cravings. Every urge, impulse, or craving has a natural progression. It starts at zero, and then suddenly we become aware that the wish, desire, craving, or impulse has arisen in our minds. It can continue to get stronger, once it has arisen. And, eventually, it will fade away (so long as we do not give in to it). This is ALWAYS true for any and every craving or impulse.

Sometimes we have the (very false) impression that cravings are SO strong and powerful, that they will never go away and we MUST give in to them. One way to deal with that is to make a conscious effort to step back (mentally) and observe the craving, as if from a slight distance. Ask yourself: what am I thinking, what are the words running through my mind? Where am I feeling this craving in my body? Observe how the sensations and thoughts become uncomfortable; observe what the messages are that you might be telling yourself; and observe how you will soon become distracted, and find that you are thinking about something else... because the craving has faded away.

Once you have done that several times, you will have a different perspective on cravings, and you will be much better able to resist them. And you can always use this method, any time you find yourself struggling, or getting into a mental argument about whether or not you should or could have a drink.

The flying mouse

One thing I've been doing with the "out of nowhere" Alcohol thought:

Instead of pushing it out of my mind & thinking of something else, I've been looking at it. I've been asking it questions:

-Why I am thinking about drinking?
-What's going on in my mind & body?
-What non-Alcohol thing do I need to do to remove this thought?
-What would be the negative consequences of getting a bottle? (i.e. drinking & feeling awful in mind, body, & spirit...having to get rid of the bottle...hiding the drinking...etc.)

Sometimes just turning my mind away from drinking eliminates the thought, but other times I really need to examine why it's happening.

I hope this makes sense.

The flying mouse

1. Cultivate continued acceptance of the fact that your choice is between unhappy drunken drinking and doing without just 1 small drink.

2. Cultivate enthusiastic gratitude that you have had the good fortune of finding out what was wrong before it was too late.

3. Expect as being normal, that for a time, perhaps a long time, you will recurringly experience:
a. The nagging craving for a drink
b. The sudden impulse to just take a drink.
c. The craving, not for a drink as such, but for the soothing glow and warmth a drink or 2 once gave you.

4. Remember that the times when you dont want a drink are the times in which to build up the strength not to take one when you do want it.

5. Develop and rehearse a daily plan of thinking and acting by which you will live that day without taking a drink, regardless of what may upset you or how hard the old urge for a drink may hit you.

6. Dont for a split second allow yourself to think: 'Isnt it a pity or a mean injustice that I cant take a drink like so called normal people'

7. Dont allow yourself to either think about or talk about any real or imagined pleasure you once had from drinking.

8. Dont permit yourself to think a drink or 2 would make some bad situation better, or at least easier to live with. Substitute the thought: 'One drink will make it worse, one drink will mean a drunk'

9. Minimise your situation. Others have greater problems, how joyful such people would be if their problem could be solved by just not taking one little drink today. Think gratefully of how lucky you are to have so simple and small a problem.

10. Cultivate and woo enjoyment of sobriety.
a. How good it is to be free of shame and guilt.
b. How good it is to be free of the consequences of a drunk just ended, or of a coming drunk you have never before been able to prevent.
c. How good it is to be free of what people have been thinking and whispering about you, and of their mingled pity and contempt.
d. How good it is to be free of fear.

11. Catalougue and re catalouge the positive enjoyments of sobriety, such as:
a. The simple ability to eat and sleep normally, and wake up glad you are alive; glad you were sober yesterday, and glad you have the priviledge of staying sober today.
b. The ability to face whatever life may dish out, with peace of mind, self respect and full possesion of all your faculties.

12. Cultivate a helpful association of ideas:
a. Associate a drink as being the single cause of all the misery, shame and fear you have ever known.
b. Associate a drink as being the only thing that can destroy your newfound happiness, and take from you your self respect and peace of mind.

13. Cultivate gratitude:
a. Gratitude that so much can be yours for so small a price.
b. Gratitude that you can trade just one drink for all the hapiness sobriety gives you.
c. Gratitude that you are an alcoholic- you are not a bad or wicked person, but you have been in the grip of convulsion.
d. Gratitude that since others have done it, you can in time bring it to pass that you will not want or miss the drink you are doing without.

14. Seek out ways to help other alcoholics - and remember the first way to help others is to stay sober yourself.

15. And dont forget that when the heart is heavy and resistance is low and the mind is troubled and confused, there is much comfort in a true and understanding friend standing by.

The flying mouse

The reasons why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they have to go, instead of how far they have actually come.

ASoberThought

Some good questions geared toward self knowledge and other strong daily rituals.

Long may it last for you. I wish you the best

fish fingers

I'm six and a half years sober,I wanted to give up so badly it came as a relief when I crashed so badly that I had to stop. I have a wife and five kids so that's my main reason for staying off the drink. I more or less had to drop all my friends apart from texts and stuff like that to check in on them. Whenever I get a craving I remind myself how bad it was, the fear the next day, not wanting to turn on your mobile, your wife not talking to you, the sickness and days waisted in bed or on couch dying. I couldn't go back now, too much to lose.

ASoberThought

fish fingers wrote: »

I'm six and a half years sober,I wanted to give up so badly it came as a relief when I crashed so badly that I had to stop. I have a wife and five kids so that's my main reason for staying off the drink. I more or less had to drop all my friends apart from texts and stuff like that to check in on them. Whenever I get a craving I remind myself how bad it was, the fear the next day, not wanting to turn on your mobile, your wife not talking to you, the sickness and days waisted in bed or on couch dying. I couldn't go back now, too much to lose.

Fair play. You definitely have your priorities in order.

Did you ever reach out to support groups or anything like that?

fish fingers

ASoberThought wrote: »

Fair play. You definitely have your priorities in order.

Did you ever reach out to support groups or anything like that?

I attended hope house at the start, to be honest I only did that to prove to my wife that I was serious about stopping. I was always gonna stop, I knew in my heart I'd had enough. I attended AA for a few months but it wasn't for me, I couldn't do the sharing part.

The flying mouse

fish fingers wrote: »

I attended hope house at the start, to be honest I only did that to prove to my wife that I was serious about stopping. I was always gonna stop, I knew in my heart I'd had enough. I attended AA for a few months but it wasn't for me, I couldn't do the sharing part.

That was me to, except the part about the wife, (I lost her many years before, and AA, I went to but shared very seldom, but did find the little talk groups outside after the meetings more valuable)

Fair play fishfingers, genuine happy for you.

Acceptance: Sometimes our biggest struggles are internally generated. Often, it is not so much the situation itself that is so painful, but our fruitless attempts to change the un-changeable, or mental arguments about how things SHOULD be different.

Our endless efforts to figure out WHY things are the way they are… all of these are unnecessary add-ons to the difficulties that life presents us with.

One of the major differences between people who live happy, meaningful lives and those who are bitter and unhappy is the capacity to accept setbacks and to make the best of difficult circumstances, instead of struggling against the things that cannot be changed.

The flying mouse

Surrender is important. No one can be forced to get clean and sober against their will, until they are fully ready, You can’t force them to change,Consistency is key.