Have struggled in the dating scene.

Superhero1993

I'm a 22 year old guy and just wanted to know am I doing something wrong in the dating scene.
I have never had a GF and I can actually say that not once has a woman that I liked, ever liked me back. I have actually asked three women out and I have got three No's but that doesn't include the endless women that I have tried to flirt with that never gives me any indications of interest.

I wonder if it's some of my aspects. I don't drink or smoke which means I'm never VERY forward on a night out but I also worry I may be seen as being boring. I also am a massive joker and sometimes I feel that I may be too much of an eejit at times but I've mentioned this to some female friends and they have said that that is not the case.

I wonder if anyone has any advice on how to tackle things.

Thanks

silverharp

you are still very young so dont feel bad about your past, at 22 you are just starting out in the real world. Your main priority is getting your career off the ground, I assume you are either working or finishing up in college? outside of that how do you spend your time? do you have a bunch of interests? if you for instance spend your weekends playing video games and watching TV you will come across as boring and alcohol wont save you either way. The way I'd put it is that you need to make yourself interesting for your own sake and the rest will fall into place. find out the things you might feel passionate about and start doing them, it could be anything, mountain biking, wind surfing but whatever it is get out there, start joining sports clubs or otherwise throw yourself into social circles.
Being "a joker" isnt a bad trait and will get you noticed but the other stuff I mentioned above needs to be in place for it to work. Otherwise smarten up your appearance a if it needs looking at, if you are over weight, lose it or hit the gym anyway

Jimmy Bottlehead

Probably a confidence issue mate.

I will say though, huge fair play on asking out those three girls. The more you ask, the easier it gets being shot down as you realise there's an endless supply of the other gender (or the same gender).

I'd recommend taking a look at your style and grooming too... good haircut, nice scent, flattering clothes all help. And just give it time. You're only young and you've loads of time to have dating adventures.

Ryan Mac Sweeney

Hi there
I have read your post. I feel what you are saying. There is no need to worry about dating as I have just turned 26 and havent dated either so you are not alone. My advice to you would be to totally work on building your confidence and self esteem and also taking up a hobby would.be a good thing. Maybe join a gym or fitness club or even go jogging is a great past time or even join a running club. As you are 22 I presume that you are either still in college or working so maybe if you have any female friends there that you like and if she is single you could maybe ask her out e.g would she like to go for a drink after work on a friday evening would be a great starting point and then take it from there. Also if you are interested in sports maybe joining a soccer team would be a great idea as you will be keeping fit.
Best of Luck

CaraMay

I wonder if you come across as a bit needy / over eager. It's ok to relax about it. You are only 22 and you have 20 years before you need to start worrying. Enjoy your nights out and meeting someone should be a bonus

kylith

Definitely work on yourself, but while going to the gym is good I'd recommend joining a club or society that would attract both men and women. That way you can get to know some women in a social setting, and may well meet someone with a similar interest to you.

SarahMollie

Hi OP,

Firstly, lots of people havent had a relationship yet at your age, so stressing and making it into a bigger deal than it is, is probably the worst thing you could do. So relax.


Secondly, you mention 3 girls you've asked out. How did you meet them? Are we talking night out scenario or are they women you know already?

3 isnt a very representative sample, but if this continues, maybe look to see if you have a "type" and if you're seeing a pattern? If so, try to break it. For example, are you only asking out the most popular girls, or are you only considering girls based on looks alone? Do you have anything in common with the women you've asked out?

You never know who you'll meet or how happy they could make you if you're open minded.

Moonshiner52

Superhero1993 wrote: »

I'm a 22 year old guy and just wanted to know am I doing something wrong in the dating scene.
I have never had a GF and I can actually say that not once has a woman that I liked, ever liked me back. I have actually asked three women out and I have got three No's but that doesn't include the endless women that I have tried to flirt with that never gives me any indications of interest.

I wonder if it's some of my aspects. I don't drink or smoke which means I'm never VERY forward on a night out but I also worry I may be seen as being boring. I also am a massive joker and sometimes I feel that I may be too much of an eejit at times but I've mentioned this to some female friends and they have said that that is not the case.

I wonder if anyone has any advice on how to tackle things.

Thanks

33 year old later bloomer here. Was the same as you at your age. Didn't lose my virginity or get a gf until 23. It does get better as long as you work on yourself starting now.

So gym, new clothes, better haircut etc. I'd also advise you stop asking girls out. Just don't think we Irish are good at that. Try to invite a girl to the pub and let things happen organically.

My biggest piece of advice would be act quick! If you meet a girl you like make a move. Unfortunately if you leave it to long she'll just see you as a friend