Monday cycle, Im going to die alone, again

sootie

Despite having a great life, I feel, usually on a Monday that Ill never meet anyone nice.
Another wasted weekend where I didn't go out, or didn't meet someone when I was out.
Tinder showing no matches...

Im 37 next birthday and beginning to feel the fear big time. Im now thinking every period is a wasted opportunity to have kids !

These , of course are my own -very private thoughts ! How do you not let these crazy thoughts in and more importantly, how do I make sure guys don't see them in my eyes !!? :eek:

liquoriceall

Hi OP if you are drinking then stop because it makes it all so much worse, and nope you may never meet anyone that's life but will you be miserable if you don't??
Are you not a whole person already? If you want a baby can you do this alone? Is this something you would?
Join more social things eg hillwalking etc that don't revolve around meeting "the one" and between the improved social life and the happy endorphins from exercise you should start to feel better soon

silverbolt

sootie wrote: »

Despite having a great life, I feel, usually on a Monday that Ill never meet anyone nice.
Another wasted weekend where I didn't go out, or didn't meet someone when I was out.
Tinder showing no matches...

Im 37 next birthday and beginning to feel the fear big time. Im now thinking every period is a wasted opportunity to have kids !

These , of course are my own -very private thoughts ! How do you not let these crazy thoughts in and more importantly, how do I make sure guys don't see them in my eyes !!? :eek:

The obvious answer is go out.

Ok Tinder is a nightmare. ITs full of time wasters, wierdos, jokers and those looking for ONS (which is kind of the point of it)

Do you ive in a city? Or a small town? Do you have friends to go out with (or maybe even date), co workers? a hobby you can interact with.

There are opportunities but you need to go out and find them.

sootie

HI, thanks yeah... I do all the usual things. Im a normal city girl. Have a dog and do the hill walking and clubs and catching up with people and nights out and lunches. been on a few dates and all ok but not the one
ah it will be grand, I just feel my friends are a lot further down the socially acceptable road of married and kids and that. I just don't want to be the funky aunt

And can I also just say im BROKE going to weddings and christenings hahahah

anyway, rant over thanks for listening

SarahMollie

What about asking your friends to set you up, or bring possible single men along to social occasions? They're surely your best resource.

Also, is there a chance that you're maybe setting standard too high? Like he has to be over a certain height, do X for a living, etc etc? Are you genuinely open to meeting someone who might not be exactly how you've always imagined?

A friend of mine set herself a challenge to "say yes" to every opportunity, including dates. She ended up dating a few men who she'd previously have rejected without a 2nd thought, and now shes married. He's a wonderful man and they're a perfect fit, but she admits herself that she'd never have gone for him before her "say yes" challenge because he's more artsy (albeit successful in his field) and she'd always just gone for professional types, but that wasn't working for her.

Failing that, invest in yourself, take up a hobby or new interest. Being busy and purposeful is a lot more attractive than being visibly focused on catching a man!

CorkSinead

I feel for you, I really do. I was a single parent doing the same thing with even less success. Until I started to really find myself, and by that I mean, I started to find a bit of my spark again. I'm not sure exactly how it happened.

But trying to give you advice. Being single, being a woman late 30s, is REALLY tough. It is very easy to feel desperate, see the younger women have an easier time, see your friends talk about the latest trip to a home improvement store or finding the perfect wedding dress.

It's exhausting but I'd treat yourself as seriously as I'd treat a really demanding job. Put the hours in, put your money in. Start with listing all the things socially that you do. You need a few brilliant friends. A few really 'fruitful' groups. Lots of hairdresser trips, clothes shops and something that is just for you, even if it is counseling to keep you strong.

Avoid social occasions for a while that are just going out late and getting drunk and looking at tinder. Keep looking at tinder but get really good at weeding out the flakes. 'Fruitful' groups - I mean groups where you could really see yourself making friends with men who are single and available. Do lots of these, and then stop going to the ones that aren't honestly going to result in a match. But try loads. Try online dating too. But be brutal. Good luck!

P.s. Probably don't take advice from me, I'm probably going through a break up myself!

AlabamaWorley

Get involved with GirlCrew on facebook - you can get advice or attend the many events they run to get you out and meeting people.