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To let go or not???

  • 22-04-2016 6:27pm
    #1
    pollyfarmgal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9 ✭


    Hi guys,
    Ok to summarise things.. I am 19 and I have been texting this boy since August 15 but things really only picked up around Nov/Dec. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend and we have never spoken about this prospect. We meet up at the weekends but not every weekend (I'm in college away from our home place) and it's hard to see eachother. We do text quite a bit.
    I feel like this "exclusive thing" has been going on for ages but we are not moving forward in any way? We have an understanding that we don't get with other peoole on nights out (he did a while back but I took him back?)
    Now I'm wondering if I did the right thing..
    I really think I should let go but I don't really know how to do this? Does anyone have advice for a girl who has no clue what she's doing ?!
    Thanks so much xxx


Comments

  • #2
    c_meth
    Closed Accounts Posts: 114 ✭✭c_meth


    Sounds like you are more into him than he is into you, at this moment in time. Otherwise he wouldn't be hooking up with someone else on a night out. It happens. I wouldn't stress too much. Persue him for a while longer but if you don't feel its being reciprocated move on. You're only 19. You seem like a lovely person. The world is your oyster!


  • #3
    pollyfarmgal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9 ✭pollyfarmgal


    c_meth wrote: »
    Sounds like you are more into him than he is into you, at this moment in time. Otherwise he wouldn't be hooking up with someone else on a night out. It happens. I wouldn't stress too much. Persue him for a while longer but if you don't feel its being reciprocated move on. You're only 19. You seem like a lovely person. The world is your oyster!

    Ah thanks so much.. Maybe that is the case. We have mutual friends so I just don't want it to be awkward, would love to still be friends? I just don't know how to tell him this
    V much appreciated C_meth


  • #4
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    I remember your other thread. It doesn't look like anything has changed in the meantime. You're still in that weird twilight zone of being "exclusive" but not a proper item. Why have you not had this conversation? Is it because you know in your heart and soul that it's not going to go well? Are you afraid that you'll come across as being too pushy and scare him off? To be honest, I think it's a bad sign that 8 months later, you're still not quite sure where you stand.

    As a rule of thumb, when you don't know where you stand with a guy, don't feel you can ask him or there's some sort of complications, your "relationship" is doomed. If a fella likes you, you'll know all about it. He'll want to see you, he'll want to spend time with you, he'll want to talk to you on the phone if you're away, he'll not be interested in getting with other women. Is there any of that with this guy?

    My guess is that if you choose to end this, he's not going to be too heartbroken. I'm sure he likes you well enough but it's more likely to be his pride that's hurt than anything else. Something tells me that even when you end it, it's not going to make things too messy with your friends locally.


  • #5
    Augme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,555 ✭✭✭Augme


    This whole "we're not boyfriend and girlfriend but are exclusive" seems so childish. I get the impression you both probably aren't yet mature enough for a serious relationship so the best thing to do is end this and move on.


  • #6
    nhunter100
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭nhunter100


    pollyfarmgal wrote:
    Hi guys, Ok to summarise things.. I am 19 and I have been texting this boy since August 15 but things really only picked up around Nov/Dec. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend and we have never spoken about this prospect. We meet up at the weekends but not every weekend (I'm in college away from our home place) and it's hard to see eachother. We do text quite a bit. I feel like this "exclusive thing" has been going on for ages but we are not moving forward in any way? We have an understanding that we don't get with other peoole on nights out (he did a while back but I took him back?) Now I'm wondering if I did the right thing.. I really think I should let go but I don't really know how to do this? Does anyone have advice for a girl who has no clue what she's doing ?! Thanks so much xxx


    You're 19 move on have fun, worry about being exclusive sometime in the future.Just play safe.


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  • #7
    armaghlad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,660 ✭✭✭armaghlad


    Augme wrote: »
    This whole "we're not boyfriend and girlfriend but are exclusive" seems so childish. I get the impression you both probably aren't yet mature enough for a serious relationship so the best thing to do is end this and move on.
    She's 19 ffs


  • #8
    armaghlad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,660 ✭✭✭armaghlad


    pollyfarmgal wrote: »
    Hi guys,
    Ok to summarise things.. I am 19 and I have been texting this boy since August 15 but things really only picked up around Nov/Dec. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend and we have never spoken about this prospect. We meet up at the weekends but not every weekend (I'm in college away from our home place) and it's hard to see eachother. We do text quite a bit.
    I feel like this "exclusive thing" has been going on for ages but we are not moving forward in any way? We have an understanding that we don't get with other peoole on nights out (he did a while back but I took him back?)
    Now I'm wondering if I did the right thing..
    I really think I should let go but I don't really know how to do this? Does anyone have advice for a girl who has no clue what she's doing ?!
    Thanks so much xxx
    Always hard to tell, there's obviously been something between yous for you to be seeing each other so long. The fact that he is still texting you is a sign that he does like you to a certain extent, how much that is though remains to be seen and you'll have to use your judgement on that. If you want things to get more serious you need to say to him... if not, and you want to cut ties, likewise say to him and if you don't feel comfortable doing that, drop a few subtle (and not so subtle) hints


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