Question on counsellor methods

LegacyUser

I visited a counsellor recently to see about addressing some issues and I found the whole thing a bit odd.

The thing that struck me about it was that it was very much a sales pitch rather than any attempt to define my issue and an approach. She spoke at length about herself and her practice and the types of people she has helped etc. She said she uses CBT and there would be exercises and such over the course of the sessions, breathing exercises, mindfulness, sleep focus etc.

She mentioned that she aims to cover everything in 6 weeks and I would see improvements quickly and that after the 6 weeks it's up to the person whether or not they want to continue. Throughout all this she hadn't once asked why I was there or what I wanted to achieve by it.

Then there was questionnaire where the answers were weighted and when added up gave a total of how anxious I was. Followed by asking me about myself and what I wanted (this was the last 15 minutes of the hour session).

At the end of the sessions she gave me a couple of sheets to take home and asked if I needed change. Took me a second to realise she was asking for her 70 euro payment.

The sheets she gave me was a form and sheet to document your sleeping habits. How much you slept each day, what ya did before bed etc. The form was some personal details and at the end a space for me to put in the session amount and sign below a statement saying I agree to attend 6 sessions on a weekly basis and after that I would be under no obligation to attend. Which seems to me like I would be under obligation to attend or be accountable for payment of the 6 sessions.

Is this just standard stuff to get through necessary things in the first session and just get an understanding of things ? Because as I said to me it felt like a sales pitch. She was trying to convince me to sign up for 6 sessions of her generic one size fits all approach rather than actually spending much time on what my issues were and what we can do specifically for that.

I did make a second appointment but tbh I'm probably going to cancel it as I can do sleep charts and breathing exercises myself without committing to a 400 euro 6 week program of some sort.

zoobizoo

How did you find them.... online? recommendation? Did you check their credentials and who they were from?

There are many different type of counselors and they type to go to will depend a lot on the types of issues that you want looking at.

KikiDee

Hey OP,

From personal experience, the first session will go along those lines. They want to tell you about themselves and what sort of practices they go through. It is almost like a sales pitch but it's not. It's their way of letting you know what they're going to go through with you. They get a general idea of what you need/want from your sessions and kick into it in the following session. Of course, this isn't applicable to all counsellors but it was my experience.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, this sounds like a standard first session.

Greenduck

Hi OP, I am a counsellor and no this is not how the first session should go.

Generally the 1st session will have some information about what you can expect, rates, times etc. But that should only take up max 15 minutes of your time. The rest should be spent figuring out why you are coming to counselling, your background, struggles etc and seeing if there could be potential for a counsellor/client relationship.

The fact that she spoke about herself is not a good sign and obviously you picked up on this. Self-disclosure by a counsellor should only be used for the benefit of the client and you certainly should not feel 'not listened' too in your very first session!!

Another thing I noted is that she is a CBT practitioner. While CBT has been proven to gain positive outcomes, it is only short-term and does not really investigate the deeper issues that are at play. Putting a time-line on your time in therapy can be damaging for you and your development. I would suggest you try and see a more integrative therapist who can use CBT but also a person-centered/ humanistic approach.

My advise is that if you have a bad feeling already this is not the therapist for you. Go and see a few and see who fits best for you, then make a decision. Counselling is all about the relationship and if you already feel she is taking advantage of you, it probably isn't for you.

Sunflower 27

Greenduck wrote: »

Hi OP, I am a counsellor and no this is not how the first session should go.

Generally the 1st session will have some information about what you can expect, rates, times etc. But that should only take up max 15 minutes of your time. The rest should be spent figuring out why you are coming to counselling, your background, struggles etc and seeing if there could be potential for a counsellor/client relationship.

The fact that she spoke about herself is not a good sign and obviously you picked up on this. Self-disclosure by a counsellor should only be used for the benefit of the client and you certainly should not feel 'not listened' too in your very first session!!

Another thing I noted is that she is a CBT practitioner. While CBT has been proven to gain positive outcomes, it is only short-term and does not really investigate the deeper issues that are at play. Putting a time-line on your time in therapy can be damaging for you and your development. I would suggest you try and see a more integrative therapist who can use CBT but also a person-centered/ humanistic approach.

My advise is that if you have a bad feeling already this is not the therapist for you. Go and see a few and see who fits best for you, then make a decision. Counselling is all about the relationship and if you already feel she is taking advantage of you, it probably isn't for you.

Agree with all this. Some believe the therapeutic relationship to be the most important element in positive outcomes in therapy. CBT has a place, but counselling is not one-size-fits-all.

Agree an integrative approach may be more what you are after. OP. Have a Google so you know for yourself.

All the best.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I go to a councellor. Good olde fashioned thrashing things out. I've been to two (first councellor went on a career break).

From my experience, yep-its normal that they do "house keeping" (times/rates etc), but not to that degree.

All I can say (and as has been said above) is that you will need to build up a relationship with this person, and if you are already feeling on a backfoot because of them, then I would suggest you try another councellor first.

Councelling for me is like breathing for my mind. Cathartic. And I wouldn't be able to do this if I didn't feel comfortable with them.