Got caught doing the deed

SusieBlue

Parents in bed, boyfriend sleeping over and one thing lead to another while watching a movie only for my mother to come downstairs midway through.

They had been in bed for nearly 5 hours so we thought we were safe, no excuse however I realise and respect that we shouldn't have been doing it in the living room in the first place.

I'm now mortified and wondering what to do in the morning. She only saw from a distance (glass door) and given the darkness, her lack of glasses and the fact that she had just woken up, I'm not exactly sure what she saw. She was only there for a few seconds before going back up to bed. There was very little nudity so I'd say she isn't sure what she saw, although I'm sure she suspects.

How should I address it tomorrow? Should I say anything or wait for her to say it to me? I'll obviously apologise for being so disrespectful and assure her it won't happen again, I'm just looking for the best option to save us both the most embarrassment.

Any advice?

topmanamillion

Ignore it and don't to do it again.
As you say you're unsure of what she saw so why remove the doubt that she may be clinging to?

If you feel there's tension in the air and that you're relationship with her changes then address it.
If she ignores it I'd be inclined to follow suit.

StanleyOllie

Your mother isn't naive as you think. Depending on your age she will probably be aware that you are active. I think her concerns will be more around you being careful. She obviously wont want to walk in on you and you need to respect that. But she will also may need to know that she wont become a grandmother. This maybe the reason she may raise the subject.

SusieBlue

Thanks for the replies. I'm in my mid 20s so not concerned about her knowing I'm active, I'm sure she knows already as we often stay over at each other's houses and have been abroad together etc. She also knows I'm on the pill so not really concerned there either.

My issue is that I don't know how long she was standing there before we realised, it wasn't a situation where she walked into the room and we sprang apart, she was walking past the living room to get to the laundry room but passed the glass door. I don't know how long she was outside the door before we noticed her or what she saw.

My biggest concern is the disrespect of doing it in the living room & the fact that I don't know how much she saw, which is why I'm unsure on how to proceed. I'll say nothing in the mean time and hopefully I'll blow over. Lesson learned though, never again!

Utah

I'd say she'll just feel disappointed and a bit disrespected, it will blow over.

Neyite

I think it really depends on your mother's views on sex. I think it would greatly upset my mother, and I'm in my forties, and she's quite old school. Other friends have mothers who'd be more likely to find it funny and take the piss out of them. Some might be ok with the vague idea of you having sex but don't really want to stumble in on you or hear it through the walls.

Would she be the type to bring it up with you about boundaries and so on? if so, she might bring it up with you first. In which case you tell her how sorry you are and that it wont happen again.

CaraMay

Tbh given that he are grown adults I would prefer if you weren't having sex on my sitting room sofa. Tbh I would be pretty grossed out and would be out with the dettol the next day given that you could be sitting on gods knows what. In fairness the least you could do is give the place a good clean down and don't do it again

Rekop dog

The best way to proceed is to move out of your parents place, you're in your mid 20's, that's the biggest cause of embarrassment here.

Expect the "talk" in the coming days.

I wouldn't stress out about it - hand on heart who hasn't been caught by somebody in some shape or form?
I'm a mother to a 17 year old lad and if I saw him in a similar position ( no pun intended) I'd say nothing, pretend but probably bring it up as a risque joke a few weeks later but that's just my personality.
FYI the roles were reversed a short while back as I'm 90% sure he saw myself & his dad doing the same on the couch as well. Nothing was said about that either, but when its after a certain time of night and we are still up he now knocks.

CaraMay

Not being smart but if you are living in a shared house why are you having sex in the communal areas.

Rekop dog

Rekop dog wrote: »

The best way to proceed is to move out of your parents place, you're in your mid 20's, that's the biggest cause of embarrassment here.

Absolute and utter nonsense.

CaraMay

CaraMay wrote: »

Not being smart but if you are living in a shared house why are you having sex in the communal areas.

Well..

.. if nobody was there to know about it then no harm no foul and all that.

But perhaps in future, OP, don't have sex anywhere your parents can walk in when you know they're around.

SarahMollie

In fairness, we've all done it, so don't feel too bad OP.

Best thing you can do in the long term is to move out. Mid twenties is a bit long in the tooth to be getting caught having sex by your parents.

Give your parents the gift of their house back!

CaraMay

Deleted User wrote: »

Well..

.. if nobody was there to know about it then no harm no foul and all that.

But perhaps in future, OP, don't have sex anywhere your parents can walk in when you know they're around.

I don't want to go off topic but who wanted to sit on a sofa with fluid ms all over it

looksee

CaraMay wrote: »

Tbh given that he are grown adults I would prefer if you weren't having sex on my sitting room sofa. Tbh I would be pretty grossed out and would be out with the dettol the next day given that you could be sitting on gods knows what. In fairness the least you could do is give the place a good clean down and don't do it again

CaraMay wrote: »

I don't want to go off topic but who wanted to sit on a sofa with fluid ms all over it

What is this obsession with the state of the sofa? Nobody mentioned the sofa till you got the dettol out!

SusieBlue

CaraMay wrote: »

I don't want to go off topic but who wanted to sit on a sofa with fluid ms all over it

Thanks for your concern about the state of my couch, but we were actually on the floor on a blanket from my bedroom. And I obviously would have the decency to clean up after myself. I wasn't going to go on my merry way, leaving my couch covers in bodily fluids for my parents to find the next morning, caught or not.

Rekop dog wrote: »

The best way to proceed is to move out of your parents place, you're in your mid 20's, that's the biggest cause of embarrassment here.

You have no idea of my circumstances, or why I'm currently living with my parents, and I won't justify myself to you as its frankly none of your business. Thanks very much for such an insightful, helpful response though. Very kind of you to make comments like that about embarrassment when you have no idea why I'm here in the first place.

PressRun

Ah, I wouldn't say anything unless she does first, at which point you could just apologise. She may very well have seen nothing though.

In future though, I'd leave the sex out of communal areas where other people in the house could potentially walk in, no matter what time of night it is. Save yourself and everyone else the embarrassment!

Lavinia

I am not sure what would I do, many options and unknowns here.
If your mom is strict, and she saw- then she may be angry etc.
It also may be not coincidence she came down, as she maybe heard something / felt something and wanted to check.

Id probably not say anything at the fist instance but would wait to see her reaction / attitude. Id prob wait for he moment to ask her something like "how did you sleep last night" - that would give her the opportunity to say something - or not, and would take it from there...
So if she does not mention anything I'd leave it at that and be careful not to come to the same situation again.
If she says something - I'd prob talk with her apologize and say it will not happen again.
Hope you managed it today OP. Best of luck!

SusieBlue

Just a quick update, as I hate when threads are left on an open string with no idea what the resolution was.

Nothing was said, and apart from my mam being overly nice to me the last few days, there's been no mention of it.

I picked up on judgemental tones from a few posts on this thread, I'm sure some people are taking me for some teenage minded brat using her parents house to act the trollop.

For what it's worth, I'm financially capable of living out of home (and have done previous to this) but moved home due to one of my parents' health difficulties so I could help take care of him and also take some of the weight off my mother to help run the family business, while continuing to work nights in my own job.
I was on the cusp of moving in with my boyfriend when these difficulties arised. Although he's allowed stay over at my parents house, my room is right next to theirs and I'd never do anything when theyre in the room next door.
Before the incident the other night, it had been almost 7 weeks since we'd last been intimate, cause we never get a moment alone. That's hard for any couple but still no excuse, I won't be making the same mistake again.

To everyone else, thanks for the helpful advice. The sooner it blows over the better! Hopefully in a few weeks I'll be seeing the funny side

jimd2

WhiteRoses wrote: »

Just a quick update, as I hate when threads are left on an open string with no idea what the resolution was.

Nothing was said, and apart from my mam being overly nice to me the last few days, there's been no mention of it.

I picked up on judgemental tones from a few posts on this thread, I'm sure some people are taking me for some teenage minded brat using her parents house to act the trollop.

For what it's worth, I'm financially capable of living out of home (and have done previous to this) but moved home due to one of my parents' health difficulties so I could help take care of him and also take some of the weight off my mother to help run the family business, while continuing to work nights in my own job.
I was on the cusp of moving in with my boyfriend when these difficulties arised. Although he's allowed stay over at my parents house, my room is right next to theirs and I'd never do anything when theyre in the room next door.
Before the incident the other night, it had been almost 7 weeks since we'd last been intimate, cause we never get a moment alone. That's hard for any couple but still no excuse, I won't be making the same mistake again.

To everyone else, thanks for the helpful advice. The sooner it blows over the better! Hopefully in a few weeks I'll be seeing the funny side

First of all fair play on the update, you are right some people leave threads hanging without an update after a lot of feedback.

I am in my 50's and I have to say I would be proud to have a daughter like you. The only advice I wold give you is not to take more burden of care of your parents on than you or your relationship with your boyfriend can handle and you might have to start prioritizing that relationship a bit more.

Taltos

Mod Note
Thanks OP - I'll close this as resolved so.
If you ever need it reopened just contact the local mod team.