Embarrassed and ashamed of where I am in life.

LegacyUser

I wont make this too long.

I'm 27 year old male and i'm in a situation where I've fallen behind the success of my friends and family. I have no solid qualifications and am unemployed currently with only experience in entry level retail positions. I'm finding myself in situations where friends or family are discussing how their careers are developing, and when they come to ask me how I'm getting on I feel like absolute sh1t.

I feel I don't have any direction in life. I don't know where to even begin in starting a proper career with a future. I have zero motivation lately and I suspect people think I'm just Lazy.

I feel like i'm stranded on a beach with a huge cliff in front of me and the tide closing in behind. I need to climb the obstacle but fear I don't have what it takes. And that really makes me feel hopeless.

noel100

I wouldn't worry about idiot friends boasting about career prospects. Most of it probably made up.

If your unemployed why don't you take advantage of your situation go and do a course. Go back to college as mature student or take an apprenticeship..

I was 28 working 11years in the hotel industry. I hurt my back and decided go back to college and did electronic engineering. I never regretted the day I changed my life. The slog was hard because I was married 3 small kid...

LegacyUser

Firstly, sincerest thanks for replying, it's comforting to have somebody listening.

noel100 wrote: »

I wouldn't worry about idiot friends boasting about career prospects. Most of it probably made up.

I take your point, however I don't feel my friends are boasting. They are naturally progressing through their careers through hard work and initiative and I have every respect and regard for what they have achieved. I compare my lack of success to their rocketing success and It makes me feel like utter sh1t.

noel100 wrote: »

If your unemployed why don't you take advantage of your situation go and do a course. Go back to college as mature student or take an apprenticeship..

This is my train of thought as well. I am interested in courses etc, but I'm having motivational issues and feel I need guidance counselling to help me choose something I would enjoy/be adept at.

noel100 wrote: »

I was 28 working 11years in the hotel industry. I hurt my back and decided go back to college and did electronic engineering. I never regretted the day I changed my life. The slog was hard because I was married 3 small kid...

I really hope i can achieve what you have.

Struggling

Working is just how you fund living. Though we have to work I never really understood bragging about it as no one wants to work.
Obviously that's just my opinion.
I know plenty of people who work in retail and have loads going on in their lives, your happiness shouldn't be measured by how good your job is

Lavinia

What noel100 said.
At 27 you are so very young you just do not realize that.
If you invest next couple of years into education for something you love, in 5 to 10 years time you will still be young but with your life turned around.
It is never too late to do that, but you really have all of your life ahead of you.

yes there

Your biggest problem is yourself and the good news is that you have identified that now. Next step is to start setting some achievable goals. Start of with small achievable ones. Goals that will make you feel good about yourself.

You should have a long term goal also that I'd guess is a career in something. You need to identify a realistic one based on your skill/intelligence etc. Then go about achieving it. Contrary to belief nit everyone can be anything they want to be so the important thing is to be realistic and pro active about it.

The situation with friends talking is a good thing although it may not seem like it now. This moment will be the point you look back on when you stagnate or lose motivation.

Proof: I was in your situation with I'd suspect a lot more obstacles than the average person so Im talking from experience. It can be done and so what are you waiting for is the question I put to you.

LegacyUser

Thank you everybody for the replies so far. I feel better after getting this off my chest. I know I need to re-skill etc. and I take all of your advice on board.

I think what I need is professional help with the actual process of choosing a career path. Even looking at courses on my own now is making me anxious.

Pawwed Rig

Struggling wrote: »

Working is just how you fund living. Though we have to work I never really understood bragging about it as no one wants to work.

That is not true at all. The more you put into something the more you get out.

daveville30

Construction is picking up there is loads of jobs going driving dumpers diggers ect you just have to pay for the coarse good money too.

Dughorm

feelinsad wrote: »

Thank you everybody for the replies so far. I feel better after getting this off my chest. I know I need to re-skill etc. and I take all of your advice on board.

I think what I need is professional help with the actual process of choosing a career path. Even looking at courses on my own now is making me anxious.

Before you go to a career guidance counsellor pick a few options you would like to try first so that you can then ask the counsellor whether they think you would be suited to it.

Some people don't want to do the classroom thing or a desk job- there's everything from bus driving to landscaping out there too!

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

Thank you for the replies,

I was quite down when I posted initially, am feeling more focused now. I've never been a worrying person and I'm relatively new to anxiety and I must say I have a new found respect for how crippling it can be.

I sincerely appreciate the advice so far any any further advice given. There seems to be a consensus emerging here and i'm finding that really helpful.

melissak

You are only 27. It may feel old but it really isn't. What kinds of things do you enjoy doing? The world is still your oyster. Would you consider travelling, if you don't have much money check out wwooffing or similar. Can be done on a shoestring and a change of scenery is great for altering moods. You will have cool stories for your friends then and it will look good on a cv as it shows daring and adaptability. Totally broadens the mind too. We all get stuck in a run now and then. Good luck

melissak

Ir teaching English as a foreign language etc

uck51js9zml2yt

There are lots the ways to retrain.
As said, you could go back to college as a mature student or do a springboard course.
I used SB when made redundant to get a BSc and a Postgrad qualification in IT.
There are also skillnets.ie with a range of short courses which are free to the unemployed.

LegacyUser

Hey op I'm the same as you except I'm 28. I made the mistake of studying something I liked instead of something that would get me a job. Now I'm on a Jobsbridge internship while my friends are all 3+ years into their careers.

I have little work experience and low confidence. Everyday I wake up feeling depressed at how my life is going. I don't even know what I want to do. Maybe one day I'll man up and emigrate but I'm too much of a coward to take risks.

Don't even know why I'm writing this, maybe you'll feel better knowing you're not alone.

umop-apisdn

Hi OP,

My husband was made redundant from the construction industry 4 years ago at the age of 35. He decided that he wasn't really happy in the job he had anyway and would rather do something else but didn't have a clue what he wanted to do or where to even start.

He had no qualifications as he left school at 16 and didn't consider himself very smart or anything, but he was open to the idea of going back into education and upskilling.

We looked at his interests and strengths and narrowed it down to Engineering. He started off with a 1yr foundation course (2 evenings a week plus the odd Saturday) in Science, Technology & Engineering. Completing that course gave him the qualifications he needed to meet entry requirements and was a taster of all the different areas he could go onto study so he could get a better idea if Engineering was the right fit for him. Completing that year gave direct access onto a huge variety of degree courses (IT, Engineering, Sciences, Health Sciences like Occupational Therapy etc.). They also do a similar foundation courses for business/arts etc, so if you can even narrow it down that much, it'll guide you onto the right course.
If the foundation course feels too much to begin with, look at some of the FAS courses - might be a good way to ease you back in.


Hubby is now in his 3rd year of studying Biomedical Engineering and is flying it! He loves what he is doing and is like a totally different person. It will have taken him 5 years by the time he graduates next year, but the time has just flown by and he can't wait to get started in his new career.

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do, just do something! You won't regret it!

melissak

umop-apisdn wrote: »

Hi OP,

My husband was made redundant from the construction industry 4 years ago at the age of 35. He decided that he wasn't really happy in the job he had anyway and would rather do something else but didn't have a clue what he wanted to do or where to even start.

He had no quatlifications as he left school at 16 and didn't consider himself very smart or anything, but he was open to the idea of going back into education and upskilling.

We looked at his interests and strengths and narrowed it down to Engineering. He started off with a 1yr foundation course (2 evenings a week plus the odd Saturday) in Science, Technology & Engineering. Completing that course gave him the qualifications he needed to meet entry requirements and was a taster of all the different areas he could go onto study so he could get a better idea if Engineering was the right fit for him. Completing that year gave direct access onto a huge variety of degree courses (IT, Engineering, Sciences, Health Sciences like Occupational Therapy etc.). They also do a similar foundation courses for business/arts etc, so if you can even narrow it down that much, it'll guide you onto the right course.
If the foundation course feels too much to begin with, look at some of the FAS courses - might be a good way to ease you back in.


Hubby is now in his 3rd year of studying Biomedical Engineering and is flying it! He loves what he is doing and is like a totally different person. It will have taken him 5 years by the time he graduates next year, but the time has just flown by and he can't wait to get started in his new career.

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do, just do something! You won't regret it!

Thats brilliant. A recession good news story. Well done him and well done you for supporting him.

Parchment

I understand how you feel.

I see lots of people in the thread are telling you to upskill etc. Firstly i think it would be a good idea to take a look at how you actually view yourself as a person - seems like you have very little self-esteem regardless of you work/career/qualifications.

I say this from experience - i got a degree that i hated, ended up working in the medical field in a non-medical capacity, i felt so embarrassed that i wasnt as qualified as the people i worked with - i felt like dirt on peoples shoes at work each day even though i was treated well and paid well. It was all about my feelings about myself. So i got a coveted place on a medicine course in The Uk. Completed two years and just realised that it wasnt about the work or the qualifications -it was all about my opinion about myself. I had made myself get that place on the course to prove to others that i could and i was as good as them.

I left the course, went home and found a good therapist (it sounds so airy fairy) and she made me see that i was only proving things to others to cover how i actually felt about myself. I hated myself and had no confidence in who i was - just me, no qualifications/job titles...just me as a person. I learned to see myself for who i am and appreciate that. I now work in the medical field but in a non-medical capacity. Work is work but i face each day with a different perspective when i have my own back rather than tearing myself down each day.

Maybe work on building yourself up then tackle other things.

myshirt

Op, don't compare your chapter 4 to their chapter 9. This life is all swings and roundabouts. Your challenge is moving ahead regardless. Keep the faith. These hard times have not come to stay, they have come to pass

jigglypuffstuff

OP Im 27

Ive a BA and an MSc almost finished....Judging by that you'd think id know what i want? .. well nope :pac:

Im now weighing up options for whats next, and yet again..Im unsure

Please listen to what ill say next i think itll serve you well

Qualifications are no indication of your worth as a person ....as with most ..your life will change evolve, go up, down, left, right, backwards, forwards, spin etc...it is usually not a static process (for some it is very cut and dry, but this is a select few)

If you are in a position where you dont know what to do..Id recommending starting with what you enjoy, and see if you can form a path from that

Enjoy the process, not the end product Your twenties are a decade where you are allowed to be confused, unsure and make mistakes, embrace it

Best of Luck in the future and hope this helps

Lavinia

Whoever is in their twenties really have a whole of your life in front of ye..
What would you say if you'd be 20 years older and all of your world collapsed around you...

Please try to figure out what you want and just go for it, knowing it is there for you around the corner and within the reach...

JustAThought

I'm sorry you are so lost OP. But at least you are trying to make a plan to turn things around so thats great! What areas are you good at - organisation - project management, logic & following rules - maths/accountancy/finance ; technology type things -engineering, science, IT, computers - or something like retail/management, chef, Or being trained up in a bigger company through internal courses & promotion? Radiologists are paid well - there are now courses in the UK & here that will leave you with a hospital career & pension, speech & occupational therapists are always in demand - particularly as you could set ip your own practice later . There are lots of night courses in insurance, finance, computers, technology - and its still only June! Plenty of time to enrol at night if a full time degree didn't suite - or if yhere was nothing through 'Fás' . Have a look at the local Colleges & see whats available & ghat might trigger a response! I know a few people in dead end jobs who did the Accountancy Technician or HR courses & they are all now zooming into new careers and futures & building from their first course/night diploma into a degree/professional qualification & have hope & a good career future ahead. It's not too late, what you choose to start with can be just a building block to get you on the way & in a year or two your friends may well be sitting around telling the story of how they saw you rise through taking a new path & found a surprising direction to a whole new career & lifestyle. Employers will find you more attractive with a course of any kind under your belt so ghus will open doors to different roles too. Don't give up or let your location or past choices hold you back from a wide & glittering future. There are still 35-40 working years to go - there is still lots of time to turn it around - don't let September go by without having started something even if you're not positive of where you will end or if it is your final destination.

Merkin

JustAThought, can you please refrain from replying to month-old threads that are dead in the water? It's unhelpful to both the OP and to you fellow Boards users. I'm closing this thread because of this and have been forced to do it with another thread also so please stop it.