Situation with manager

muselover

I have been working for a busy company in an administration role for quite a while now. A member of the team (who does another role) left and wasn't being replaced. My line manager suggested I take on her workload as well, but didn't seem to give me the room to say no. (Just to clarify, this new role is not a promotion in any way - it's just added tasks to my already existing job).

The day he asked me, it was in the office with the entire floor listening, which I didn't really appreciate as other depts do not need to know if I am taking on another role or not. I made it clear I wasn't comfortable with taking it on, but he kept saying "I'll let you think about it some more". I felt like he was implying that my job would be more secure if I took on all these extra tasks to try and convince me to take it.

He can be quite demanding but I'm good at my (current) job so we get on quite well. However, he used to be extremely demanding with the girl who just left, and I had qualms about taking the job as, knowing him, he would expect me to be fully trained within a week and would be straight on my case if anything went wrong. I didn't feel confident that I would be good at these extra tasks as I had never done them before. And also - these tasks are not relevant to what I want to do in the long run career-wise, so bottom line - I didn't want to do it. I didn't explicitly tell him no, but I made it very clear I wasn't comfortable with the idea. But he kept bringing it up in such a way that I thought he'd keep asking me until I eventually agreed.

One day I got chatting to our director and he asked me how I was getting on in general. I asked him if anyone had mentioned that I take on these extra tasks to him - just to see if he would be in agreement with them, if he thought it'd be a good move for me within the company, etc. He was immediately annoyed that this was asked of me and reprimanded my manager for suggesting it.

My manager (when the director was out of the office the next day) immediately attacked me for telling him, saying I made it sound like I was being forced into the position when I wasn't. I explained I only mentioned it to him to see what he'd think, and my boss went crazy saying I was blowing it all out of proportion and that I never explicitly told him no. (I have to add I never told my director no, either - he said I wouldn't have to do it before even asking what I thought!) This was all screamed at me whilst at our desks with the entire floor listening - I didn't like discussing it with him infront of the whole office, he could have taken me into a meeting room.

Now he's being dramatic and trying to make me feel guilty for supposedly going crying to the director about being forced into a position I didn't want to do, when as you can read from above, that's not what happened at all.

I normally get on well with him but now he's in a strop. I was talking to his former assistant and she said she complained about him to the director once and he didn't speak to her for a month. I'm just worried as I'm currently looking for positions elsewhere and have him listed as a reference, but given his current mood he might give me a bad one out of spite, even though I do my job impeccably and my appraisals have always been glowing.

Anyone been in a similar situation and have any advice?

screamer

I find in companies where others have had the same problem and reported it and that person is still there you're fighting a losing battle. I'd request a meeting and clearly out line that you don't appreciate him shouting across the office at you and you won't tolerate it. Tell him how his behaviour made you feel and that it is unprofessional amd that in future you insist he has such conversations with you in private (I would also inform HR of this in advance). You need to have your plan formed about what if any duties you will take on and what you seek in return. be clear and assertive so there is no room for interpretation.
It sounds like you get on well with him in general so don't be afraid to have this conversation and document it afterwards for your records.

nhunter100

muselover wrote:

I normally get on well with him but now he's in a strop. I was talking to his former assistant and she said she complained about him to the director once and he didn't speak to her for a month. I'm just worried as I'm currently looking for positions elsewhere and have him listed as a reference, but given his current mood he might give me a bad one out of spite, even though I do my job impeccably and my appraisals have always been glowing.

One suggestion, look for a different referee in your present company in the likelihood that you maybe successful in securing a different job.

Ben_Nevis

His actions are tantamount to bullying. Humiliating you in front of an entire workforce is no joke - I would go back to the director and tell him you are going to lodge a formal complaint about his behaviour unless this is dealt with immediately. Let the child pull a strop for a month if that's what he wants to do.

George Michael

manager sounds like a narcissist. horrible to deal with

the_syco

muselover wrote: »

I'm just worried as I'm currently looking for positions elsewhere and have him listed as a reference, but given his current mood he might give me a bad one out of spite, even though I do my job impeccably and my appraisals have always been glowing.

Get another reference, as even if you agree to do the extra work, he may still give you bad references so that you stay and do the extra work, whilst saying that he's giving you glowing references to keep you sweet.

Because if you think about it; why would he shoot himself in the foot and have you leave if he finds it hard for someone to do his work for him?