Dont Tell The Bride - How would your wedding turn out?

Neyite

I saw on FB today that Dont Tell The Bride is currently looking for Irish couples to take part in the next series.

I was momentarily tempted - I mean, €10,000 is not to be sniffed at, but I don't think I'd have the nerve. But it got me thinking about how the OH would fare in the planning.

I think he'd leave everything to the last minute. I think he'd pick a ceremony and venue that I'd be happy enough with - we are quite similar in our tastes - I'd be well up for Vegas or a quirky venue, but would also love a beach wedding somewhere exotic.

I think he'd probably put the bulk of the money into a honeymoon or destination wedding, but I could be wrong and he could come up with a crazily amazing wedding. But I think I'd have to drop massive hints about the kind of dress I wanted. I think I'd still be talking to him at the end of it all :pac:

In your relationship, what kind of DTTB would the groom plan? and how much would it differ from what the bride liked?

Toots

God I have no idea. I reckon he'd have done OK with the dress in terms of style (he knew I didn't want white) but size could have been difficult, seeing as it's a number as opposed to 30" waist 32" leg.

Cake - as long as it was funky looking and didn't include a fruitcake layer I'd have been happy. Flowers, again not too fussy. He knows I'm not keen on wedding bands, so he'd definitely have hired a DJ (although not sure if he would think to go and view before booking).

It's funny though, because I got married in 2010 and my hubby was 26 and I was 25. Back then I don't know would he have been as savvy about stuff as he is now, so he might have made a few blunders. If it was today, I'd have no concerns whatsoever, (other than dress fitting right) so I'd nearly be happy to just do nothing and show up on the day :pac:

I always wonder with those programs, have people not discussed at all what they'd like for the wedding? I mean if I had been thinking of going on one the first thing I'd have done was secretly write my measurements down somewhere in the house to he could find them, and then tell him if there were any things I really didn't want.

Faith

My husband was pretty heavily involved in the planning of our wedding, so I think he'd have done a good job on DTTB. Certainly, he had to put up with my stopping to stare in the window of every wedding dress shop that we ever walked past, so he would have been well aware of my taste in dresses! He pretty much chose our venue too, and talked me into it. The music style was his suggestion, as was the photographer (both were better than I would have chosen myself). He probably would have struggled with the smaller details, like bridesmaids outfits, flowers and vendors.

I think, overall, he would have done a very good job. But I would absolutely hate to have no control over the planning .

/edit: Toots, they must have talked about it! We had most of our wedding vaguely planned out before we ever got engaged. The only thing that changed substantially was moving from a church -> humanist ceremony.

Toots

Ooh, actually the photographer would be something that my hubby might have got it wrong with. Most of his family have used a relative with a good DSLR for the pics, and they did offer it for our wedding but I insisted on a professional. When you put the photos side by side, the difference is obvious - the pro ones are much better. I reckon my hubby might have gone with a family member taking the photos purely because it'd be the easiest thing to do and they'd be 'grand'.

Milly33

Oh I think himself would do pretty well now.. I was very tempted to enter into it for ours but I hate cameras and photos so thought best not too.

Id say he would have picked a nice place now and have a small few people. Or else he would have invited lots of people and not thought about where they would go and sleep....

Id trust him to pick the dress. I always laugh at the brides choices and then being really stressed with the men picking the dress. And when they try it on they love it although tis something they would never go for...

Hoonymoon id say he would still pick what we done Caesys for crab claws and wine spoiled....

jlm29

My OH would buy me a bag of chips on the way home from the registry office, and use the money to buy more cows or upgrade his tractor or something...

lazygal

We planned our wedding and had already booked a couple of things before we told everyone we were getting married so any drama would probably have been minor. If I was doing it over I'd change a few things for sure.

GalwayGirl26

Vegas. We'd be in Vegas. I am 100% sure we'd be in Vegas. In fact, I wouldn't even leave for my mam's house or whatever, I'd just head for the airport.

And I most certainly would be in a dress that I already own because ''Isn't the ****ing press full of them?!?''

Keane2baMused

My OH is a huge procrastinator so only having 3 weeks to plan it would be touch and go

Pretty sure he would get the dress right..maybe not the size as although he knows my dress size he wouldn't factor in height, bust size etc. He wouldn't bother with shoes because I "have loads of them".

He would pick up detaily bits however I'm not sure how relevant they would be. For instance he keeps talking about 'beachy' things for the tables at our venue. Our venue is in the middle of nowhere surrounded by fields and sheep and horses and not a bit of a beach to be seen nor do we live near a beach

Music he would likely have just gotten a Dj also which is what we are doing. Ceremony we probably would have ended up in a church because his family "usually do that" (we are having a non-religious ceremony lol!)

He would ask the bridesmaids what they want to wear. He would probably think of makeup and hair but not actually get around to booking something

I think he would do pretty well in the grand scheme.

Although, knowing his best man a fortune would go on the stag and a huge chunk of our budget would be gone!

michellie

I couldn't do it. I'm way too much of an OCD organising freak.

ChampagnePop

The dress is the only issue I'd have, I'm sure I'd like whatever he picked, but that doesn't mean I could wear it!

I'd love if he organised it, he'd forget loads but it would definitely be great craic. Its only his parents I think that would take issue with it, I wanted to alope in the first place, he wants the big wedding, lol

meeeeh

We would both wear cool shoes although I suspect his would be more expensive. I haven't got a clue about anything else. It would be great if someone organized the whole thing, keep my father away from making it about himself (yes I love my father) but considering we both despise that program, I don't think there is any danger of us going for it.

Neyite

michellie wrote: »

I couldn't do it. I'm way too much of an OCD organising freak.

Oh, there is no WAY that you'd get us on the telly either, but when I saw the article, it made me wonder how himself would plan it if he was given free reign. And if the relationship would survive to the wedding night

Toots

Sure remember the one where the groom went off to Vegas and the bride nearly didn't go through with the wedding???

Neyite

I'm pure skeptical of all those reality shows anyway, so I wondered if she wanted to go to Vegas all along but pretended to want a different type of wedding for the purposes of the show.

There are parts of a wedding that cant be done in a mere three weeks - notice to the registrar for starters, then the vast majority of venues /photographers and other suppliers are booked up years in advance. I went in to several bridal shops in a major Irish city for my dress and not a single one could rush an order through quicker than 5 months, some hinted at 4 months but said it would be totally at the brides own risk. If you are outside the sample sizing they tend to stock, then you have to order the dress from scratch. Then there is the alterations. Even with the best will in the world, a dressmaker physically would not be able to get a dress, unpick all the seams and redo in a quick turnaround.

AoifeCork

Were both musicians and in the wedding industry so every favour under the sun would be pulled out... Ceremony in a pub in Limerick where we play once a month, ridiculous mish mash of 40 musicians using our PA at the reception to do one song each, a dress donated from a previous bride, you get the idea... €10000 then to get Damien Dempsey and Declan O Rourke for the residents bar. Maybe a honeymoon in West Cork and a lash of Guinness biscuit cake to feed everyone. God help us.

eviltwin

He would go for a traditional big white Irish wedding, the type of thing I would absolutely hate but he's never been great at thinking outside the box so he would go with what he knows.

Gatica

Interesting concept and we discussed it before, because we used to watch the show quite a bit together before ours. He's got pretty classy taste, even compared to me so I think we'd have been fine. He probably would've forgotten some little detail though, just because there's so much to it and some men don't pay attention to those little things that matter to brides. However, I'd say the venue, food and decoration would've been good. Not so sure about the dress. It would've been nice, but probably not what I actually picked - it's the sort of thing you'd really need to try on.

Toots wrote: »

Sure remember the one where the groom went off to Vegas and the bride nearly didn't go through with the wedding???

That was the most uncomfortable episode ever... I felt so sorry for the bride. She went through with it, but you could tell how heavily it weighed with her.

Toots

Gatica wrote: »

That was the most uncomfortable episode ever... I felt so sorry for the bride. She went through with it, but you could tell how heavily it weighed with her.

Word in the street internet is that they're divorced now. TBH I thought she was a bit of a drama queen about the dress (if you're letting the guy pick it with no influence from you there's a good chance he'll get it wrong) but I can understand how she felt about the wedding. I mean FFS the siblings couldn't even go!! I'd probably be having second thoughts about that because clearly he booked Vegas because it's where HE wanted to go, and didn't give a sh*t about anyone else.

Gatica

that, plus the fact that it was preceded by a pricey stag do, if I recall... If he was gonna drop a Vegas wedding on her, he should've at least factored in paying for whole immediate family (they didn't seem to be that many) and the bridal party, like best friend who'd be BM.. ( I can't remember the details exactly).

Toots

I think it was her brother couldn't go and his sister couldn't go, then her friend/cousin/whatever who was meant to be BM refused to go saying that it wasn't right that she went but members of the immediate family weren't allowed.

Neyite

Gatica wrote: »

That was the most uncomfortable episode ever... I felt so sorry for the bride. She went through with it, but you could tell how heavily it weighed with her.

He blew most of the budget on his stag didn't he? To the point where not only did he not bring some of her family, but also could only stump up half of the cost of the dress - her family had to pay the other half. It was rumoured online that if she didn't marry him they'd have to pay back the money. The T&C's are pretty much that the bride has to either go along with what the groom wants to do or pay back that portion. If he agrees to the change, they don't. Which would explain the quick about-turn she had.

I'd say if it wasn't a set up for TV, then it was a major relationship wobble for them.

Gatica

Kinda makes you wonder about the legality of it in that case... Surely if the couple would be in debt to the show for not getting married, it could be seen as coercion into marriage? I know it was in Vegas, so probably not the same as if they'd married at home. Maybe they could get it annulled after... :cool:

Sam Kade

Neyite wrote: »

I saw on FB today that Dont Tell The Bride is currently looking for Irish couples to take part in the next series.

I was momentarily tempted - I mean, €10,000 is not to be sniffed at, but I don't think I'd have the nerve. But it got me thinking about how the OH would fare in the planning.

I think he'd leave everything to the last minute. I think he'd pick a ceremony and venue that I'd be happy enough with - we are quite similar in our tastes - I'd be well up for Vegas or a quirky venue, but would also love a beach wedding somewhere exotic.

I think he'd probably put the bulk of the money into a honeymoon or destination wedding, but I could be wrong and he could come up with a crazily amazing wedding. But I think I'd have to drop massive hints about the kind of dress I wanted. I think I'd still be talking to him at the end of it all :pac:

In your relationship, what kind of DTTB would the groom plan? and how much would it differ from what the bride liked?

You do know that it's all scripted added drama and all that

Neyite

Sam Kade wrote: »

You do know that it's all scripted added drama and all that

I do.

But I just thought as a discussion here, it could be interesting to have a think about what kind of wedding the groom in our relationships would plan and what the brides might think of it.

ChampagnePop

If you want a princess /Downton Abbey style wedding, don't agree to go on the show, that's not interesting TV and it's not going to get you on the show.

However- I think it's petty disgusting to skimp on the wedding so you can have a big stag - also do grooms pay for their own stags usually? I never understood that

ChampagnePop

Neyite wrote: »

I do.

But I just thought as a discussion here, it could be interesting to have a think about what kind of wedding the groom in our relationships would plan and what the brides might think of it.

You need a big idea to make it onto the show, I guessed my OHs in 10 seconds - sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica..... I'd have to pretend I hate travel obviously!!

Neyite

ChampagnePop wrote: »

You need a big idea to make it onto the show, I guessed my OHs in 10 seconds - sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica..... I'd have to pretend I hate travel obviously!!

Obviously. Could you develop a phobia of flying perhaps?

I could totally get on board with pretending to want to have a big church+hotel shindig and he goes and plans a barefoot Seychelles wedding. I've a toddler who could teach me how to meltdown realistically for the ratings. Get the OH to 'pick' out the 'disgusting' dress that is already hanging up at home , cry a lot then realise he's got hidden talents as a stylist to rival Gok Wan when I try it on and love it. :pac:

Neyite

ChampagnePop wrote: »

If you want a princess /Downton Abbey style wedding, don't agree to go on the show, that's not interesting TV and it's not going to get you on the show.

However- I think it's petty disgusting to skimp on the wedding so you can have a big stag - also do grooms pay for their own stags usually? I never understood that

I think you'd have to be utterly laid back and be ok with having zero say (as bride and groom tbh) if you are on the show.

I don't think grooms do pay for their own but in that episode, he took the wedding money and spent a large chunk of it on living it up in Vegas and gambling with his mates. I'd say a fair bit of egging on by the production team goes on, if not outright directing.

Toots

I read on another forum that on one of the weddings the planning was going a bit too well, so a member of the production staff "forgot" to drop the bridesmaids dresses off until the night before the wedding.

Neyite

That does not surprise me at all.

baby and crumble

I don't think either of us (both brides btw) could deal with not getting to plan the wedding, for us planning is the best part of holidays and parties and stuff anyway. And let's be honest, after the 30 minutes of the actual ceremony all a wedding is is a massive party.

Atomic Pineapple

Toots wrote: »

I read on another forum that on one of the weddings the planning was going a bit too well, so a member of the production staff "forgot" to drop the bridesmaids dresses off until the night before the wedding.

I've heard far worse than that occurring to be honest but obviously no proof and people would like to have a dig at it so could be made up.

Personally I would never get on the show, as for a groom, I am far too organised and interested in my wedding and would do a good job with nothing being tacky or out of the ordinary so it would be a very boring episode

sbEdge

Surely if a couple were considering doing the show they would go through everything beforehand? What she likes and what she definitely doesn't like. It's not like they catch you unaware and separate you before you know you're going to be on the show.

Keane2baMused

Also has anyone noticed the scenes on the show where they are talking about their upcoming wedding and their hopes/dreams, likes and dislikes?

And there they are with wedding rings on and wedding photos in the background

Have seen this in both the Uk and Irish versions.

GalwayGirl26

Keane2baMused wrote: »

Also has anyone noticed the scenes on the show where they are talking about their upcoming wedding and their hopes/dreams, likes and dislikes?

And there they are with wedding rings on and wedding photos in the background

Have seen this in both the Uk and Irish versions.

I'll be keeping an eye out from now on!!

I'd guess they just needed it for editing purposes?