Seperating

toastie1

Hey

Wife recently ( xmas 2015 ) announced no longer wants to continue marraige and we need to split, I was not expecting this as times were largely good/great with some bumps along the way. 3/4 months later I am in a better place and ready for closure.

Wife expected me to move out immediately and I said no way on grounds of abandonement of kids, family home and financial obligations. I work full time and she is a stay at home mum ( youngest approaching 7 years ) and out of my wages I have paid everything over the years. I give her money and she collects childrens allowance ( 3 children , 6.5 yrs, 8.5 and 14 ). She would never have to worry about any finances, if we needed something I was expected to juggle and find it. We would have been fairly comfortable over the years, holidays,clothes, extra stuff and worked well.

The family home was bought in my name and my brothers purely to actually get a mortgage in 2003 and I have paid every cent. We have no debts other than the mortgage and we are not in negative equity. My job is on shaky ground, probabtion extended and I am now on compassionate/sick leave but the clock is ticking on this.

We are now at a stage where she is looking for me to leave and she is looking for her money.
We have seperate bank accounts and there is a lump remaining from my redundancy 16 months ago.

She has employed awful tactics over past 3/4 months to get me out and I have been advised by a solr that I could get a barring order against here for how she has traumatised the kids, not something I would do.

We are currently in mediation but no trust exists and she has thretened court yesterday so my view is that this has run its course. She wants sight of bank statements etc and she has been turned down for lone parents as we live togrether. She has moved bedrooms. She also made comment about me "scaring her" when she denied me right to bring kids to school, which is utter nonsense but got me worried.

We both need an out, but me leaving the house with 200k owing makes me nervous and financially 1 wage dosent support 2 places to live.
Her suggestion was to sell house and along with my lump sum buy a smaller house for them so she could be mortgage free, claim as she sees fit and I go off to rent. I agree in principle but now she has changed mind and wants me out and getting desperate.

I could go on, any thoughts on best way out to protect myself yet look after my kids ?

Thanks,
Toastie.

Stheno

TO be honest, this is not something you can get general advice from an internet forum on, it's far too complex.

The best I can suggest is to spend time planning how to deal with this with your solicitor.

Cos1234

toastie1 wrote: »

Hey

Wife recently ( xmas 2015 ) announced no longer wants to continue marraige and we need to split, I was not expecting this as times were largely good/great with some bumps along the way. 3/4 months later I am in a better place and ready for closure.

Wife expected me to move out immediately and I said no way on grounds of abandonement of kids, family home and financial obligations. I work full time and she is a stay at home mum ( youngest approaching 7 years ) and out of my wages I have paid everything over the years. I give her money and she collects childrens allowance ( 3 children , 6.5 yrs, 8.5 and 14 ). She would never have to worry about any finances, if we needed something I was expected to juggle and find it. We would have been fairly comfortable over the years, holidays,clothes, extra stuff and worked well.

The family home was bought in my name and my brothers purely to actually get a mortgage in 2003 and I have paid every cent. We have no debts other than the mortgage and we are not in negative equity. My job is on shaky ground, probabtion extended and I am now on compassionate/sick leave but the clock is ticking on this.

We are now at a stage where she is looking for me to leave and she is looking for her money.
We have seperate bank accounts and there is a lump remaining from my redundancy 16 months ago.

She has employed awful tactics over past 3/4 months to get me out and I have been advised by a solr that I could get a barring order against here for how she has traumatised the kids, not something I would do.

We are currently in mediation but no trust exists and she has thretened court yesterday so my view is that this has run its course. She wants sight of bank statements etc and she has been turned down for lone parents as we live togrether. She has moved bedrooms. She also made comment about me "scaring her" when she denied me right to bring kids to school, which is utter nonsense but got me worried.

We both need an out, but me leaving the house with 200k owing makes me nervous and financially 1 wage dosent support 2 places to live.
Her suggestion was to sell house and along with my lump sum buy a smaller house for them so she could be mortgage free, claim as she sees fit and I go off to rent. I agree in principle but now she has changed mind and wants me out and getting desperate.

I could go on, any thoughts on best way out to protect myself yet look after my kids ?

Thanks,
Toastie.

Hi hope it all went well. Im in a similar place now.very very similar. I was ill so marriage is over. Shes turned very nasty and bringing me to court skipping mediation. Anyway id love to hear how it worked out.thanks cos1234

goat2

Having young children is the hardest part of your battle, if they were older , it would be easier, where there are no children under 18 or still going to education, is a whole different ball game, then it is down to two, and then again when children are reared and a person is so long in a place also makes it hard, time would have been a problem