Friends never get in touch

Molly999

Guys, am so fed up of always being the one trying to arrange to meet friends. When I do they are never able to commit to meeting. I spend every weekend holed up in my house willing someone to text. Never happens. I HATE my life.

Keane2baMused

This happens. Unfortunately they're not worth your friendship if they can't make any effort (for no genuine reason)

I have just a few friends and I choose to keep it that way for this very reason. Other friends always made promises "oh we definitely have to meet up, haven't seen you in forever". Me..ok let's make a plan...and bam..gone and not to be heard from again for weeks or even months.

That exactly happened just a couple weeks ago with a 'friend' of mine.

Can't be arsed with that crap.

Join meetup.com and get involved with groups you enjoy, it's apparently a great way to form friendships and if nothing else it will get you out of the four walls!

Teyla Emmagan

You need new friends. Or more interests. If you are just sitting in all weekend looking at the walls you are missing out a lot on life. Would you join a running group or something? I know people who have a fantastic social life through the sports they enjoy, running or sailing or bootcamp or whatever. You don't have to be that good, you just need to turn up. You feel better, you are healthier, you go to club nights out etc. And you aren't waiting for the phone to ring. You need to broaden your social circle OP, force yourself into new things. The first few times might be hard but it is better to try new things than to sit in feeling lonely.

Airyfairy12

This happens to me and im left feeling like there's something wrong with me and TBH its really effected my confidence.

I hate when people say go make new friends or join a club/volunteer.. its not that easy to just make new friends, especially after school, unless you're really extraverted or very social or funny to be around, i find people already have their groups and cliches and its hard to get to know new people.. thats just from my perspective anyway, maybe its different for you.

Anyway ive friends like that, One in particular and I brought it up with her cause i was sick of being the only one to make an effort, she even let me down on my birthday after she promised shed be there and I gave her 3 weeks notice. She turned it on me and brought up the 2 times in the last 3 years that i let her down, one was because i was sick with a flu. She expects me to jump when she clicks then was shocked that id not be ok with it.

Ive learned that people for the most part are really self involved and unless theyre getting something from you they dont want to know. Bottom line is theyre not real friends. They dont care about making time for you and they dont care if they let you down. They dont value the friendship as much as you do unfortunately. Im sure you will find new friends eventually, just give it time.

Airyfairy12

This happens to me and im left feeling like there's something wrong with me and TBH its really effected my confidence.

I hate when people say go make new friends or join a club/volunteer.. its not that easy to just make new friends i find people already have their groups and cliches and its hard to get to know new people.. thats just from my perspective anyway, maybe its different for you.

Anyway ive friends like that, One in particular and I brought it up with her cause i was sick of being the only one to make an effort, she even let me down on my birthday after she promised shed be there and I gave her 3 weeks notice. She turned it on me and brought up the 2 times in the last 3 years that i let her down, one was because i was sick with a flu. She expects me to jump when she clicks then was shocked that id not be ok with it.

Ive learned that people for the most part are really self involved and unless theyre getting something from you they dont want to know. Bottom line is theyre not real friends. They dont care about making time for you and they dont care if they let you down. They dont value the friendship as much as you do unfortunately. Im sure you will find new friends eventually, just give it time.

via4

I have found il ask people a few times do they want to do something & if they don't want to I just leave them be. Iv learned it's pointless sitting around waiting for those types your just wasting your own precious time and energy. I find it hard when you would just love a night out but no one will go out with you so you can't. The last night out I had was October but there's nothing I can do until I hopefully meet new people. I even went out for a drink on my own st. Patrick's day because I just want to be out having fun again I had a craic with drunk ppl at the bar I didn't stay long but it got me out of the house.
Would you consider joining a gym? Not even for the fitness just to get out of the house I find the beauty about a gym is you can go in on your own and sometimes you get chatting to people around you even small talk with strangers can curb my loneliness. Nights out & the cinema are out for me cos there things you need ppl to go with but everything else in life you can generally just do on your own. I was people watching yesterday in the shopping centre and I noticed a lot of people were sitting down on the seats for ages all on there own and I was thinking to myself isn't it better to get up have a look around the shops have a sit down on the seats is better than moping about the house. Even just being around other ppl can help sitting in the house will only make you even more isolated believe me iv been there. Join clubs and see how they go and at least you can say you tried. Best of luck.

mud

I know what you mean OP. It is really demoralising but sadly it's up to you to move on from these people and make some new friends.

There's been some good advice on the thread so far. Are you into music at all? I've started going to trad sessions and have met some lovely people through that.

I'm in the process of being ghosted by my supposed closest friend. I've no idea why but I'm so cross about the way she is treating me that I can't bring myself to straight out ask her why she's being such a heart-breaker. According to FB she's having the time of her life but then again, FB is for showing off so it's best to take that whole scene with a pinch of salt!

Would you have the time or inclination to volunteer somewhere?

Hope it all goes well for you