Does my ex have a mental illness

ItsJustLaura

Hey. I feel like this is gonna be long so I'd like to say thanks in advance if you read this.

Ok so, I have been in a relationship since October 2014. It was a very loving and happy relationship. We talked about our future and made plans together and to be honest I thought I had found the one. During our relationship I had a bit of trouble with a girl my ex was friends with. They used to be seeing each other before me and him got together but they continued to stay friends which I wasn't happy about. But I trusted him and just dealt with the fact they were friends. Me and my ex had a few fights over this girl but we got through it. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, I had a strange feeling that something was going on with my ex and when he was out of the house I checked his phone and found a lot of explicit messages between my ex and this girl. So it was clear he was cheating on me. I confronted him and he said he has been cheating on me the last month and only got with her 3 times. I was devastated that our relationship was over and that he could betray me like that. A week later we were on a night out and he was also out, I needed to see something on his phone and while I had it I decided to check his messages to see if he really only has been cheating on me for the last month. I found messages that went back to June of last year. We were both drunk and it was just a messy situation so we decided to meet up the next day when we were both sober. So the next day we met up and I told him to just come clean. So he told me that he has been cheating on me since September with this girl. I believed it cause I thought he would have no reason to lie to me considering everything is over. Funnily enough when I was with him his other girl text me and told me everything. So it turns out he has been cheating from the very beginning of our relationship. This girl didn't know I existed till a year after we have been going out. But when she found out about me she continued to be his **** buddy. Thats all they were, they weren't a couple they were just friends with benefits. So he was still lying to me, if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have found out all this.

I don't think this is normal. Clearly he didn't love me and he said he had no feelings towards her. He also said he hasn't felt any guilt or felt bad and that he has had no feelings throughout this whole situation. Like that is not normal to not feel anything. I'm beginning to think that he has mental problems. There is a history of mental illness in his family. And now that I think of it he has lost all interest in everything that he once loved like football, friends etc. He thinks he is superior than everyone else. He is clearly selfish and he has no feelings towards anything or anyone. He finds it extremely easy to lie to people. He was apologising to me for what happened and he told me that this was coming from his head cause he knew what he did was wrong but he said he just felt numb inside, no feelings at all. So I think that there is a deeper problem here. I suggested to him that he has to see a doctor. And he admitted that he thinks there is a problem. He also has suicide thoughts. I am the only person he has told about this mental illness situation so I said I would help him through it if he wanted. I am not sure if thats a good idea or not but he really does need help I think because what he did is not normal and I think there is a problem.

I am absolutely heartbroken and shattered that this has happened me. But I am willing to put this cheating situation aside to help him. I do believe he needs help and he wont get it by himself. I dont know what to do. I would love to know your opinion and advice on this situation.
Thanks.

dudara

Closing thread as it is a duplicate of other posts