April VOAT

Mr E

Any interest?

2 weeks to write, 1 week to vote, 2500 word limit.

Thoughts on a theme? Something that has potential for variety....

redser7

Would love to but my plate is very full at the moment. Thanks

HalloweenJack

I'm game. I've missed loads of the recent ones.

Mr E

I don't think the interest is there at the moment, so I think I'll have a stab at the Francis MacManus competition this month.

trout

What's a Francis McManus competition this month, or indeed, any month?

Mr E

http://touch.boards.ie/thread/post/99293268

Das Kitty

Too much going on in my life at the moment anyway to partake. The arena is there for anyone who would like to give it a go?

trout

I'm game ... and if there's only two or three of us, I'm bound to place highly

once again, trout's vice-like grip of mathematics comes to his rescue

Fuzzytrooper

Would there be more interest in a mini-VOAT - although we may need to rename that since the last one didn't have any variations sent out....sorry

trout

VOAT, mini VOAT, groats, scrotes ... whatever, I'm in

Mr E

Mini VOAT is good for me.

I'm away for the weekend, so early next week suits me better? Say 48 hours from midnight on Sunday, no more than 750 words. If that's OK with everyone, all we need is a theme. Any ideas?

Edit: I guess if we decide a theme now, people can start at their own pace, so let's just set a deadline of midnight on Tuesday, regardless of when you start.

trout

I'm hungry ... I've skipped lunch (not by choice) ... hows that for a theme?

Mr E

How about just the word "Hunger". Broadens the scope a bit.

trout

Mini VOAT

All entries due by Midnight - Tuesday 12th April

Theme is "Hunger"

Wordcount - 750

Sign me up!

Who'll be the arbiter?

Fuzzytrooper

I'm happy to take submissions but it'll be Wed morning before I can post the submissions in a new thread. I'd also like to take part so if there are no objections I'll submit my piece to another mod before the deadline as verification that I'm not sneaking in a few extra hours of writing.

Mr E

Thanks FT, if you want you can send your entry to me.

redser7

Seeing as it's so short, I'm in!

I should be studying for my exam next week but I'm so tempted
I might see if I have an hour or so spare by then!

Fuzzytrooper

Im going to need someone else to receive submissions in my place. Looks like I'll be busy at the hospital. Son had a bit of an accident on the weekend. He's ok but it might keep me from posting the submissions

Mr E

No worries, Ft. Best wishes to the little guy.

Everyone else - please send entries to me and I'll set up the voting thread.

Mr E

Just over 24 hours to go.

redser7

Sorry but I'm going to have to pull out. Just haven't the time to put something together.

Mr E

3 hours left. Remember to send your entries to me instead of Ft. I'll be posting whatever stories I get at midnight tonight....

Mr E

OK, very few entries so I'm going to PM Ft to see if any strays went their way.
I'll post up what I have in the morning.

echo beach

Sorry I didn't come up with anything. Writing a short story proved more difficult than writing a long one.

Mr E

OK. Sadly, there was only one entry to this VOAT, and it was me.

I haven't heard back from Fuzzytrooper, so apologies to anyone who didn't follow instructions and sent their story to Ft instead of me!

No point in starting a voting thread for it so I'll just post it here.

Mr E

Another ordinary day, at least as ordinary as it could be since the Germans occupied Paris. During the day, they hid. Amelie, along with her mother and older brother, kept out of sight while the Nazi troops patrolled the streets. At night, they took turns to leave their hiding place to scavenge for food in neighbouring areas. Her mother Chantal was sick and her brother Phillipe had twisted his ankle, so it was Amelie's turn to find food. Papa had heard rumours of an abandoned charcuterie five streets over and had gone to check it out. That was 4 days ago and he never returned.

Amelie had decided that tonight was the night to retrace his steps.

It was early September after 9pm so there was some lingering light – just enough to give her the advantage of seeing danger coming from a distance, yet dark enough that she could hide quickly if necessary.

The atmosphere was eerie – curfew kept the streets quiet. She encountered 3 patrols but avoided them easily. After 30 minutes of darting from doorway to doorway, alley to alley and tree to tree, she was close to her destination. As she turned the corner on the street that housed the charcuterie, she failed to notice the glow from a pulled cigarette across the road.

The shelves in the shop were bare - looters had picked them clean. She had expected that. Her goal was to find the store room where all the cured meat would have been stored until needed. Minutes later she found a concealed padlocked door which she got through easily. A year of scavenging had taught her a trick or two. There wasn't a massive selection in there, but enough to have made the trip worthwhile. She packed what she could and went back towards the front of shop.

On the way, she paused by the stairs. There were family pictures all along the wall, staggered to align with the steps. The shop owner must have lived here. Maybe there are some clothes she could borrow? She took the steps two at a time and ran into the first room. She was stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of a familiar face. Her father's lifeless eyes stared back at her. He was hanging from the rafters, a noosed sheet wrapped around his neck. Amelie fell to her knees and wept.

~~~

Some time passed. The tears had stopped but her eyes had been rubbed raw. Slumped against the wall, she stared at the floor and reflected. The occupation had been tough on everyone. Papa had a profitable business and they had lovely home. Since the Germans came, he had lost both. Members of his extended family had been killed or taken. He had fallen out with Chantal, they were always fighting. It looks like he simply gave up on life.

She decided that she wasn't going to leave him like this. She removed the top blanket from the bed, pulled the mattress from the bed frame and lined up one end of the mattress with his feet. She picked up his rifle and while holding his legs, she used the bayonet to cut at the makeshift noose. Accompanied by a ripping noise, the body landed squarely on the mattress but his head thumped hard on the wooden floor. She heard a noise downstairs, shortly followed by a creak on the stairs. Merde!

Amelie crouched behind the door holding the rifle. She dared not breathe. She heard the footsteps getting closer, then entering the room. She peeked through the keyhole to see a German soldier poke at her father's corpse with his rifle. With gritted teeth, she crept from her hiding place with the bayonet pointed forward and upward. With a sharp thrust, it went through the base of his skull and came out through his face. The soldier was dead before he hit the floor. It was a poignant and significant personal victory against the bastards that had destroyed her life and that of her family.

Amelie took the blanket from the corner of the room and draped it over Papa's body. She said a prayer, picked up her things and left.

When she got back to her family, she decided to keep that part of the trip to herself. She alone would bear the burden of what happened to Papa.

Falling asleep to the distant sound of gunfire, Amelie considered her little victory today and smiled. She prayed that tomorrow would be another ordinary day.

trout

Sorry ... I screwed the pooch on this one.

My pals father passed away on Friday, so my time was not my own.

I'll read the singular (and possibly the winning entry) ASAP

echo beach

A worthy winner. I would have liked to know a bit about Amelie. I imagined her as a teenager but she could have been younger. A little background would help to decide if her actions were completely out of character. Has the war made her a different person?
The only part I felt was weak was the paragraph outlining why the father did what he did. Some of the detail could have been revealed earlier and some could have been left out altogether.
Very well done.

redser7

Fair play to you following through, it's lonely at the top Wish I'd found the time to give you some competition.
Well done on the story. To be honest I think it was too big a story to fit into 750 words though. I think 2000-3000 would give you the space you need to flesh out the world and the characters more.

Mr E

Yep, fair comments, both. Thanks for the feedback.